Vacation's Where I Wanna Be
by x Rajah x
Summary: COMPLETE!When Anakin and Padme take their four year old twins and their two close friends, ObiWan and Yoda on vacation, they don't realize what exactly they are diving into. Chapter 14: It's the end of the vacation... but there's still craziness in store!
1. A Recipe For Disaster

**Story Title**: Vacation's Where I Wanna Be

**Genre**: Humor

**Summary**: Anakin and Padme are taking their two four year old twins, Luke and Leia on a vacation. Sound innocent enough? Think again. Here's the twist. Uncle Obi-Wan and none other than Master Yoda are tagging along. _This will turn interesting_.

**Disclaimer**: Own nothing, I do. Belong to Sir Lucas, these characters and affiliations do. Saddened I am by this fact. Also own, I do not, the Chipotle burrito song. A small reference appears it does in Chapter 1. And sadly, Krispy Kreme, Burger King, and McDonald are not mine are they either. A shame, this is. For enjoy french fries, I do.

**Chapter 1**

**A Recipe for Disaster**

Padme sighed deeply and rubbed her eyes. The words on the datapad before her began to run together and her vision was hopelessly blurred. It was 11 o'clock already? Sleepily, she shoved the unfinished Senate proposal into her desk drawer. Leaning, chin in hand, she gazed out at the lights of the city. She knew she really should be getting some rest, so after a moment she slowly rose. Her aching tired muscles screamed with the effort and her right foot was asleep. As she hobbled toward her bedroom, it protested and tingled.

She undressed and put on her simple bed attire, a soft robe given to her by Sabe, her loyal handmaiden. She was not disappointed to slip into the warmth of her sleeping husband's arms. He stirred slightly at her touch and opened his eyes a bit, peering at her inquisitively.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever show up," he commented, the fatigue apparent in his soft voice.

Padme snuggled gratefully closer to him and whispered into his ear, "Me too, Ani."

"Mmm," he grunted. "What was Chancellor Skywalker up to at this hour?"

"Datapads," she replied. "And I'm not even halfway through that heaping mound on my desk."

He was silent for a moment. "Oh. Datapads," he said with obvious distaste. "You mean those datapads that seem to be so much more important than your handsome Jedi protector?"

Padme let out a small sigh. "They're not more important than you, Ani."

He laughed and settled deeper into the pillows. "Well, angel, I do believe it's high time you took a break from your work."

Padme smiled at the thought, but it was soon wiped from her face. "Oh, I wish I could Ani."

He sat up a little, and looked at her dark silhouette. "So why can't you?"

Padme thought the answer was actually quite obvious. "Because, in case you've forgotten, I'm the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic."

She couldn't see him but she knew he was smirking. "And? I'm frightfully sorry, but I fail to see your point, milady."

She sighed, frustrated. Both at this sudden declaration and his use of the teasing name. "I can't take a break. The Republic needs me."

"I couldn't agree more, angel. Holonet gossipers call you the best Chancellor in the history of the Republic for a reason you know," he teased.

Padme giggled. "And what do the call you, oh husband of mine? Ah yes, The Hero with No Fear."

Anakin shifted uncomfortably. "Personally I find that name to be anything but flattering. But you're changing the subject, Padme. I'm completely serious here."

Padme laid a hand on his face. "But I have so much to do. Being the Chancellor gives me a lot of responsibility."

Anakin snorted softly. "I think all your hard work is all the more reason for you to take a break."

Padme opened her mouth to respond but hesitated and thought a little. "A vacation does sound nice…..." she paused. "But what about the children, Ani? And don't you dare suggest that we leave them with Obi-Wan because I don't want a repeat of the last time he babysat."

Anakin chuckled quietly. "No. I don't either. But it was kind of his own fault. I mean, he made the mistake of not watching Luke closely enough. And curious little children will get into anything."

Padme smiled at him in the dark. "I suppose so, Ani. But I don't think he appreciated Luke's … 'redecoration' of his Jedi robes."

"I thought it was very creative. A blend of surrealism and a bit of abstract."

"And what about his walls?"

"Well, I can't argue that his walls looked horrible. Remind me never to enroll Luke in an art class."

Padme said, "Okay, Ani. But now you are changing the subject. Where will the kids go?"

Anakin wrapped a sturdy arm around her and sunk back into the covers. "They'll come with us. We've never had an actual family vacation before, Padme."

Padme smiled. "It's a wonderful idea, Ani. But what about the stack of datapads that are still sitting on my desk?"

Anakin sighed and said, "Forget the stupid datapads, angel, or I'll personally see to their destruction."

Padme shivered voluntarily. "Like you personally saw to the destruction of our old armoire?"

"Yes my dear," he answered matter-of -factly. Padme smiled to herself at the thought of a relaxing vacation with her husband. It sounded perfect.

Anakin appeared to be envisioning as well, because he was quiet for a minute or so. Then he asked, "How about we leave tomorrow?"

Padme nodded into his sleeve. "And leave the datapads behind. I promise."

Anakin pulled her closer and whispered, "I love you, angel. I hope you know that."

Padme answered him with a small snore. Anakin grinned and fell into a deep sleep.

Padme awoke the next morning and turned over toward Anakin's side of the bed to find it empty. Curious, she padded downstairs to find a cup of hot coffee and the morning newspaper waiting for her on the table. Anakin sat at the table, siphoning his breakfast at lightning speed.

Padme took the seat next to him and gratefully sipped her coffee. "Mmmm," she commented. "Thank you, love. This tastes delicious."

Anakin smiled at her and pointed to the sugar bowl. "Sweet enough for you, my angel."

Padme smiled from behind _The Coruscant Courier_. Anakin read the front page while she read the inside.

"Mommy? Daddy?" a voice acknowledged from the kitchen doorway.

Anakin looked away from the headlines. "Well, good morning, Princess. What would you like for breakfast?"

Leia shrugged and rubbed her sleepy brown eyes in the light. "How about some cereal, please Daddy?"

Anakin smiled. "One cereal coming right up, sweetie."

Then, another small voice echoed through the Skywalker's kitchen. "I want cereal too."

"Please," Padme said pointedly.

"Please," Luke added with a small sigh.

Soon, the children were slurping the leftover milk from their bowls. Anakin cleared his throat importantly and spoke. "Children, your mother and I have an announcement to make," he began.

Luke scowled and said grumpily. "Don't tell me, we're getting a new baby brother or sister."

Padme jumped, startled. Anakin nearly upended the coffee pitcher in shock.

"No!" Padme exclaimed. "Where on earth did you come up with that?"

Luke shrugged. "Biggs said that's exactly what his daddy said when he was about to get a new sister. And he did."

Anakin and Padme exchanged a look. Anakin spoke first. "Well, you see, I have a different announcement in mind."

Suddenly, Luke looked excited. "Are we getting a pet?''

Anakin sighed. "No, Luke."

Leia's eyes shone in wonder. "What then?"

Anakin smiled gently at his children. " We're going on a vacation together as a family!"

"Yea!" Leia cheered happily. But her happiness was short-lived as the door suddenly burst open and in popped Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"HEEEELLLLLO SKYWALKER FAMILY!" he screeched loudly. Padme covered her ears in agony.

"Hey, Obi-Wan." Anakin grumbled. "Wasn't expecting you to drop by, at seven o'clock in the morning."

Obi-Wan began to jump up and down. "I KNOW! ISN"T THAT SO GREAT? I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU GUYS!"

Padme fretted from behind her newspaper. "Couldn't you have just brought us donuts or something?"

"Oh, contraire, Senator. I brought you donuts and jelly!" Obi –Wan answered excitedly and pulled a jar and a box of donuts out of his robes. "Couldn't you tell I had something stuffed inside my shirt?"

"Nah," Anakin teased. "I thought that was your stomach hanging out."

Obi- Wan growled and said. "I'm not THAT fat, Anakin."

Anakin laughed and Leia stated, "What's the jelly for, then?"

Obi-wan leaned down and whispered. "You see, Leia, these are special donuts."

Leia looked at the box and read it aloud. (She is four years old, but she is a smart youngling.) "Jansen's Extra Soft Premium Jelly Donuts."

"Ooooooh! Donuts," Luke squealed.

"Awww crap!" Obi-Wan said in a voice that didn't disguise his dismay. "I can't give you these; they already belong to some dude named Jansen!"

Leia ignored his outburst and asked again, "What's the jelly for, Uncle Obi-Wan?"

Obi-Wan sniffed sadly. "Well, they're jelly donuts so they need jelly, right?''

Anakin, who had stolen a section of the paper from Padme, said flatly. "Um…Obi-Wan? They're called jelly donuts because they have jelly in them."

"Well, that's just craptacular! I wasted 25 cents on a jar of stupid jelly!" and he hurled the jar at the wall, but Anakin caught it with the Force just before it smashed into Padme's beloved wall hanging.

Obi-Wan helped himself to a seat and quipped, "I'd better just take the donuts back to Jansen and beg for forgiveness."

No one bother to comment. Anakin, intent on cheering his former Master up, said, "You know, we can make some toast and eat jelly covered toast with the donuts," he suggested.

Obi-Wan's eyes widened. "ANAKIN, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? WE CAN"T EAT THOSE, THEY BELONG TO JANSEN!"

Anakin sighed. "No they don't Obi-Wan. Relax, all right? Did you take your meds today?"

Obi-Wan looked confused. "What meds?"

Anakin laughed. "Only teasing, Master." And he got up and walked to the bread basket, preparing to make some toast for the family. When he lifted the lid, something jumped out that definitely wasn't a loaf of bread.

"What the-!" Anakin said loudly. The little bundle rolled several inches across the countertop and fell into the sink. After a second or so of squirming, a clearly unhappy Yoda tumbled out of the sink and onto the floor, spitting out soapy water.

"Yoda?" Luke asked in awe.

Yoda scrunched his already wrinkly face up at Anakin. "Yes, me it is. However, sign autographs, I will not, young one."

Luke looked utterly lost. Yoda turned back to Anakin who was looking at him questioningly.

"Well, you think tough you are to wake an old man when sleeping he is, huh, Anakin?" he began grumpily. "But in the States, a little thing we have called dignity. And destroyed mine you have."

Everyone, without the slightest hint to what Yoda was saying remained silent. Anakin, who was trying very hard to suppress a laugh, said, "Yoda, what in Sith's name were you doing sleeping in our bread basket?'

Yoda swayed a little as he tried to walk toward the table. " Sitting outside I was, wishing a burrito I had…..Yes a burrito, mighty fine that would be right now…." he sang absent-mindedly. Anakin decide to give up and put some bread in the toaster.

Obi-wan, who hadn't seemed to forget despite Yoda's dramatic appearance, yelled suddenly, "ANAKIN! WHAT IF JANSEN IS A COLD- BLOODED CRIMINAL WHO WILL TEAR ME LIMB FROM LIMB IF HE DISCOVERS THAT I STOLE HIS DONUTS?"

Padme sighed and lowered the paper she had been trying to read during the ruckus. "Tear you limb from limb, _over donuts? _Highly unlikely, Obi-Wan." she stated.

"You don't know how many weirdoes are out there running around the galaxy, invading every Krispy Kreme in sight."

Anakin brought over the toast and said. "How many weirdoes are out there running around the galaxy invading every Krispy Kreme in sight?"

Obi-Wan put on his best genius face. "Approximately 1, 892."

Anakin adopted a face of false shock. "Wow."

"That's not the half of it. More than twice that many target McDonald's."

Leia smiled and bit into her toast. "Probably for the toys."

Anakin grinned at his daughter's insight. "Yeah, you're probably right, Princess."

Obi-Wan proudly whipped out his wrist and pointed to his watch. "I got this at Burger King."

Everyone glanced quickly at his Obi-wan Kenobi watch.

"Nice, Uncle Obi-Wan." Luke offered, eating a donut.

Yoda piped up from the floor, where he was eating a donut out of a bowl. "Heard, I did, that a trip you are going on?"

Obi-Wan's face lit up instantly. "A TRIP? WHERE TO, GUYS? HUH? CAN I GO? PLEEEEAASE? PRETTY PLEEAASE?"

Anakin sighed. "Padme's taking some time off of work so we can go on vacation with the kids."

Obi-Wan smiled. "Cool. Can I come?"

Before Anakin could respond, Padme spoke up. "Of course you can, Obi-Wan. You're like family to us."

"HOT DIGGETY DOG!" Obi-Wan exclaimed. "Thanks a bunch, you guys. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!"

He gazed lovingly upon the faces of mixed emotion before him. His eyes traveling around the table, he finally saw Luke.

"Except for you," he whispered quietly. Luke continued to scarf down donuts, and Anakin, who had heard, chuckled at his joke.

"HEEEEEEYYYYYYYY!" Yoda whined loudly, "About me, have you forgotten?"

Anakin snorted. "Forget about you? Difficult to do when you pop out of my bread box at seven thirty in the morning."

Padme smiled. "You can come too, Yoda."

"YIPEE!" he cried. "WIZARD THIS IS!"

And while everyone else plunged deep into discussion of destinations and hotel accommodations, Anakin wondered silently what Padme had just gotten them into.

"Hey Anakin, you wanna know what the best part of being on vacation is?" Obi-Wan said happily.

"What?" Anakin asked, already getting a headache.

"Being gone from Coruscant when Jansen comes to hunt me down."

Anakin slapped his forehead and groaned.


	2. Of Ponies and Packing

Hello again!

I couldn't wait to post another chapter, so here it is. I think so far, I like where this story is going. (smiles proudly) This is my very first fanfic, and so far so good, from my standpoint. The only big error I've made is not explaining the background. (Read on!) I am very thankful to those of you who take up your own time to read this. I'm all smiles! I'm sorry, but I must ask you for one more favor. After you read this, just simply press the button at the bottom of the page and tell me what you think. See, that wasn't hard!

**Amalthea727:** Wow! Thanks so much for the kind review. And maybe someone will get sunburn…**rockyrelay: **Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far. And I like your penname!** Dagniro Vanaliel: **All right, I'll admit I should've explained a little more. _The premise of this story is Anakin didn't fall to the Dark Side, and in the Mace/Sidious duel he chose the other side. (As in Macey Purplesaber.) He defeated Palpatine, and was awarded the rank of Master and a seat on the Council. Obviously, Padme couldn't have hidden her secret for long, but when the Council found out about Anakin's marriage, they didn't care, because he'd basically just saved them all. (Obi-Wan is romantically involved as well, you'll see later in the story.) Plus, Yoda's kind of insane_. I'm sorry that I didn't say this, but I'm inexperienced, so I'm just now getting my writing out in public. **cozy- rozy-etc.:** Thank you, I'm delighted that you thought it was funny. That's good to hear. I will consider your Han idea. **Anakinsangel4evr: **(note the spelling) Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it. The reason I make Obi-Wan so funny and…strange is because he's usually a really serious Jedi, and he needs to lighten up. (The same thing with Yoda) And plus, It's just funny! You'll see a lot of that from here on out. I also hope your story is coming along smoothly…**Yokel: **Sorry I didn't clarify, but Padme is alive because Anakin didn't turn to the Dark Side. He is still a Jedi. And she had two children, and now lives with her husband on Coruscant. Thanks for the review!** Nicoley117:** Gee, thanks! I'm really happy that some people enjoy this story. Thank you for the kind review.** bigger harry potter fan than u: **Wow! Thanks a bunch for the review! Was it really that funny? Well, I sure hope the shoe didn't cause too much damage… (smiles) Thanks for reading, glad someone found it funny.** Jedi in the Shadows:** Cool name. I know who you are! I'm not that stupid. Anyway, the name suits you well, my apprentice. And no, no one is going to wear all black. Sorry, you lose! Lol.

P.S. Glad you guys enjoyed the bread box part. That was so random; I hadn't planned on that happening!

May the Force be with you, my friends.

Kickbutt Jedi Chick 4191

Disclaimer: Please! Don't hurt me! I don't own Star Wars; everyone knows George Lucas is the only one who can say that. More accurately, I don't own Star Wars, I worship it. I don't own Ziploc. And I also do not own Toaster Strudels or Cheetos. Or Cracker Jack. Too bad. (stomach growls hungrily.)

**Chapter 2**

After some deliberation, Padme had convinced everyone to go to Naboo. Well, almost everyone.

"Go there, you want, only because a Queen there, you were," Yoda protested, "Not fair, this is."

Padme sighed in obvious aggravation. "Look, Yoda, everyone else wants to go there. Really, I don't see the problem."

Obi-Wan was slurping orange juice from a straw. "HEY!" he yelled suddenly. "Threepio, you idiot! I asked for no pulp!"

Threepio, looking quite flustered began to apologize. "I'm very sorry, Master Kenobi, would you like me to fetch you another drink?"

"Heck yeah, I would! And while you're at it, throw in a bagel."

"Yes, yes. Of course, Master Kenobi."

Yoda was still fretting. "But want to go to Magic Land I do! Ride ponies, you can!"

"PONIES?" Obi-Wan screamed rather loudly. Everyone turned to look at him. "Sorry," he muttered. "Continue."

Anakin regained his composure because he, like most of the others, had to restrain their laughter at Obi-Wan's random outburst. "Well, Naboo is fine with me. Magic Land…actually, I'll admit, I've never heard of it."

Obi-Wan grabbed his bagel and took a bite. "Naboo is nice and all, but Magic Land is definitely out of the question." And then, for reasons unbeknownst to the others, he shivered involuntarily.

"But pony rides are sort of fun," Luke put in.

Anakin shook his head. "No they aren't, son. I would much rather ride in a star fighter than on some Force-forsaken pony."

"And they sometimes smell bad." Leia added.

Yoda decided it was time for more persuasion. "Pony rides, and the best hoi-broth in the galaxy, they have," he announced, praying silently that someone would be impressed.

Padme scrunched up her nose. "I hate hoi-broth."

Leia solemnly added. "That stuff smells worse than ponies."

Obi-Wan threw his head back and wailed, "I'M ALLERGIC TO IT!"

Yoda sighed, disappointed. "But love ponies, I do. Always feed them sugar cubes, I do. And their manes, so soft they are……"

Anakin was about to respond, but suddenly felt something nudge his foot. He looked down, only to see his former master curled up in the fetal position, sucking his thumb.

Aghast, Anakin said through the Force, "_Obi-Wan?_ _What the Sith are you doing?"_

Obi-Wan took his thumb out of his mouth and replied aloud, "DON"T let them go to Magic Land, Anakin. Please!"

Padme, hearing Obi-Wan scream, looking under the table. Surprised, she bumped her head at the sight of the Jedi Master.

"Obi-ow...Obi-Wan, what are you doing under our table?"

Obi-Wan shuddered. "You guys, I don't like ponies. Not one bit.'"

Padme looked concerned. Not out of sympathy, but more out of worry for Obi-Wan's mental stability. "It's okay, Obi-Wan. I just convinced Yoda to go to Naboo."

"REALLY?" Obi-Wan said, brightening a little.

"How?" Anakin asked.

Padme smiled proudly. "I promised to buy him a free box of Toaster Strudels."

Anakin grinned in admiration. "Angel, you're a genius!"

Padme grinned back. "Duh."

They turned their attention back above the table. Obi-Wan, back to normal (or a least as normal as he could physically be) stared, confused. "Did I miss something? Toaster Strudels?"

Obi-Wan resurfaced to find both Luke and Leia looking at him in confusion. He cleared his throat and ignored them.

Yoda, fully convinced, was jumping up and down. "YEA! I'm GOING ON VACATION! I'm GOING ON VACATION!" he chanted.

Anakin stared at Yoda's blur of a body. "And this is the same dude who uses a cane to walk around the Temple?" he asked Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan laughed. "Anakin, Anakin. You still have much to learn." he chided. "Yesterday he wasn't using a cane, he was being Cowboy Joe, remember?"

Anakin sighed, for he did remember a certain green Jedi Master whizzing past him a stick horse. "Yeah. Cowboy Joe. That was nuts."

Obi-Wan grinned. "That's nothing. You should see him as Fireman Bob. Hilarious!"

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

That afternoon, everyone had gotten to packing.

"Anakin?" Padme called sweetly, "Did you pack the toothpaste?"

"Yes, my love. Both flavors." he replied.

Padme poked her head out of her closet, where she was selecting her wardrobe; something Anakin guessed would take at least 5 hours, if not 6. "Both flavors?" she questioned.

Anakin smiled. "Yes. Mint for us and Leia, and provolone cheese for Luke."

Padme's head was enveloped in clothing once more. "Oh, yeah. I forgot about that. Ani, do you think we're promoting bad breath in our child by letting him use that?"

Anakin stole a glance at the tube. It read: "Chinsey's Provolone Cheese Toothpaste. Warning: Do not spread on hamburgers. Not for direct consumption."

"No, angel," he replied with a smirk, "I'm sure it's nothing to worry about. It's a phase, it'll pass."

"Ani?" she asked softly. "Does Obi-Wan have a pathological fear of ponies?"

Anakin threw a couple of Padme's magazines into her suitcase and answered, "I honestly don't know, angel. Not much is known about Obi-Wan Kenobi before his life at the Temple began."

Padme emerged from the mess of clothes and hangars and neatly placed two folded dresses into the suitcase next to her magazines. "Maybe he had a bad experience with one in his youth. It almost makes me feel sorry for him."

"Almost?" Anakin asked, zipping up his own suitcase.

Padme gave him a quizzical look and then burst out laughing. Anakin helped her to shut her nearly overflowing suitcase and then they went to help their children pack.

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan studied his disorganized quarters at the Temple. He haphazardly tossed his tunics and sunglasses into his bag, and snatched up an extra large bag of Cheetos.

"For the trip," he murmured to himself. Then, taking one last look at his home, he grabbed his bag and dashed out the door, straight for the Skywalkers' house.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"Daddy?" Luke asked, digging through his toys. He held up a Wookiee doll and a stuffed tauntaun. "Should I bring Mr. Wookus, or Taunticus of Hoth?"

Anakin paused in mock contemplation. "Well, which ever one wants to go with you, son."

Luke frowned. "They both do." Then he gasped, in sudden realization. "I almost forgot! I can't bring Taunticus, he gets airsick."

Anakin couldn't help but laugh. Leia came in, carrying her small pink case proudly.

"I'm so excited!" she said happily and skipped a circle around Luke. "Mommy's from Naboo and Sabe's from Naboo, Dorme's from Naboo, and our cousins we've never met are from Naboo…" she listed everyone she knew. Anakin was only half-listening as he wrestled with Luke's belongings and his suitcase. Then, Leia said something that made him freeze.

"….and Jar Jar's from Naboo, too! He told me that he lived in a city underwater."

Anakin quickly closed Luke's suitcase, horrorstruck. **_Jar Jar. _**He left his children to their anxious chatter and walked in a daze toward the kitchen.

He found Padme throwing snack items into a cooler and Yoda digging happily into a box of Toaster Strudels.

"Padme?" he asked timidly.

She turned to face him, and upon seeing his face she instantly softened. "What's wrong, Ani?"

He shook his head. "Angel," he began, his mind ringing with the one question he needed to ask his wife. "Did you pack the Gungan repellant?"

Padme's face lit up. "No! Oh, thank the Force you remembered, Ani, or I would have completely forgotten."

Anakin's headache threatened to return as he imagined what that would have been

like.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Obi-Wan raced into the house, and threw his suitcase unceremoniously to the floor. Hollering and whooping he ran around, unable to contain his excitement.

Then, suddenly, Obi-Wan was on the floor. On top of a very annoyed-looking Anakin.

"Wow, Anakin. Didn't see you there. What are you doing on the floor?" he said, getting up. Anakin picked a bottle off the floor at Obi-Wan's feet.

"Licking the floor. You know, it's an excellent source of protein." he replied sarcastically. When really, in fact, he'd been pushed over as Obi-Wan had collided with him.

"Really?" Obi-Wan said, amazed.

"Cool!" a voice that was revealed to be Luke said. The young boy scampered into the room and stuck his face to the floor, tongue raking the surface.

"Umm…Anakin?" Obi-Wan began. But Anakin had an amused smirk glued to his face. The two Jedi watched Luke lick the floorboards for a moment. Finally, Anakin spoke.

"You keep that up, Luke, and Padme won't have to mop."

Then, as if on cue, Padme entered the living room and was astonished to find her son's tongue moving rapidly across her floor and her husband…..just watching.

"Luke! What are you doing?" she asked.

"Licking the floor," he said, and smiled. "Daddy says it helps get protein."

Padme shot Anakin a funny look and said, "You really shouldn't believe everything your father says. Half the time, he's just stuffing your head with false info to see what you do."

"Well thanks for playing along." Anakin mumbled moodily. Luke got up and left with Padme in tow. Then Obi-Wan noticed the bottle.

"What's that?" Obi-Wan asked and pointed at the bottle.

Anakin read the label aloud. "Gungan-Out. Maximum strength Gungan repellant."

Obi-Wan nodded knowingly. "For Jar Jar."

Anakin smiled. "You guessed it. But it's a little past the expiration date. I hope it still works."

"Might wanna pack some Ibuprofen, just in case," Obi-Wan suggested.

"Way ahead of you, Master. As always."

"Yeah, right. You wish, Anakin."

"Daddy?" Leia's voice sounded somewhat scared. "Alec at school told me once that there are big scary lake monsters on Naboo. Is that true?"

Anakin turned to face his daughter. "Oh, Princess. It sounds like Alec was trying to scare you."

"And it worked," Obi-Wan said.

Anakin smiled. "There is. But only in the Core."

"What's the Core?" she asked, curious.

"The Core is beneath the surface of Naboo. Underwater." Obi-Wan supplied.

"Oh." she said. "As long as we aren't going there."

"We aren't, sweetie. Now go give this to your mother for me, okay?" Anakin said, handing her the bottle.

"Okay, Daddy!" she said happily, always eager to help out. And she ran off in the direction that Luke and Padme had.

Obi-wan turned to Anakin. "When do we leave?"

"Well, Padme and I compromised on first thing tomorrow, to save the kids an overnight flight."

"Oh, okay." Obi-Wan said sullenly and sank down into a seat. "I guess I'll wait." He turned on the holoscreen and began watching the holonews.

Anakin was about to comment on his former Master's uninvited intrusion, but decided against it. With a sigh, he walked into the kitchen, imagining what this vacation was going to be like.

"Hey Anakin! While you're in there… I'd appreciate some grub. I'm starving here!" Obi-Wan called. Anakin tossed a box of Cracker Jack at him with the Force halfheartedly.

"Geez, Anakin. How many times do I hafta tell you? The Force is no excuse for laziness! You could've come out here and given me that!"

Anakin frowned. _"You could've got off your lazy butt and got it yourself."_ he said through the Force at Obi-Wan. _"I'm not the one at fault here. Don't talk to me about laziness!"_

Anakin ducked behind a countertop as Obi-Wan threw an empty pop can at his head.

"Shut up, Anakin!" he yelled aloud. Anakin snickered.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Yoda examined his empty suitcase. What to pack?

Looking around his quarters, you would see many odd and peculiar objects. First, his prized oak statue of Master Mace Windu, which Yoda secretly used as a scratching post to file down his nails. Next, you would see a jar of apricot preserves, mostly because he had a soft spot for apricot. Also, an empty box of cereal lay on Yoda's bed. This had been his breakfast.

Thinking, Yoda jumped into his bed and began chewing on the remnants of the cardboard box. After all, he needed something for lunch.

Contemplating, his threw his "Windu brand" nail file and jar of preserves into the case. But for some reason, through the Force he felt a sudden urge to put one more thing in.

An idea hitting him, he scampered over to a pile of miscellaneous items and began rummaging through them. Sifting through weeks of empty jars of preserves, old newspapers, several magazines, his gimer stick, a loaf of pumpernickel bread, and his new shade of nail polish (Party Pink), he finally found it.

A small Ziploc bag. But this was no ordinary Ziploc bag. It contained Yoda's exclusive and long sought after collection of authentic and original-style pocket lint.

"And don't even ask, you vicious money-grubbing fans." Yoda mumbled. "Mine it is."

And he fell asleep with this exact possession pressed lovingly against his cheek. In the morning, the journey would begin.

t


	3. And So Beginth The Adventure

Greetings!

I'm baaaaccck! And with a new penname! Wow! I'm so excited that you like the story! Sorry if I kept some of you waiting! I've got several ideas for other stories, but I'd hate to stall too much, so I'll finish this one first! I got a lot of great reviews, and for that, I humbly thank you. You guys are amazing! Now, I've got a lot planned for the little "vacation" so you may wanna fasten those seatbelts! (Notices weird looks thrown in her direction) That is, if you are reading my story while riding a car. (Hopefully not while you're driving!) And grrr……can't believe I said that. Okay, now I feel really stupid.

Well, here's where I gladly change the subject. A special thanks goes out to those loyal readers who stuck with me for both chapters! Yay! As for later, I promise for more humor, and not just from Obi-Wan and Yoda. Anakin needs to step up a little, cuz after all; he is my #1 fave. Actually, he's my #1 FAVE!

So here's chappie #3, hope it hits or even better, surpasses your standards!

P.S.: Someone sent me a really nice review that mentioned the Gungan tango, but when I went back to find your name, my computer had completely deleted your review! Oh, believe you me, I was furious! So sorry I cannot personalize your little thank you, so if you are out there, thanks a bunch! (I did the Gungan tango!) Please forgive me!

**Herald of Shadow:** Hello! Thanks for reviewing (after I demanded that you did so) So thoughtful of you. You have read something similar; you read the creative spark that ignited this story in band class! I hope you've been practicing your Yodaspeak or you're in trouble. Hesitate I will not. Hit you with my stick I shall. Or maybe….I'll borrow a stick from a certain someone! (Dun dun DUN!) **Amalthea727: **Hi! Thanks for the review, glad you liked it. Anakin's not lazy, per say…. he just likes to mess with his extremely gullible son Luke! Otherwise, he's not too lousy in the area of fatherhood. Of course, I have trouble saying anything remotely insulting or negative about him, so I'm a leeeetle bit biased. (Anakin taps me on the shoulder and gives a gesture of great thanks) Enjoy Chapter 3! **Childish Whisper:** Wow! I'm glad you caught on! You took the words straight from my mouth; two words that describe this story are INSANELY RANDOM! Hee hee, thanks for reviewing. **mastercontoro: **Gee, you make me feel really special, offering me ideas like that! They are warmly welcomed! I may use a couple, but don't be disappointed if I pass on the lake monster idea. No offense, really! It was brilliant, but I've read a fanfic like that, and I can't help but want to be unique. It's more probable that I squeeze Han in there somewhere. That would be pretty neato! As for young love, emphasis on the word young, Leia only four years old! **(Author's Note: How many years apart are Han and Leia? If you can tell me, muchas gracias!) **Thanks so much for reading! I am truly considering your suggestions. **Phantom'sJediBandieGirl: **Obi-Wan and Yoda are basically insane because they've been cooped up in the Jedi temple for too long… having to act all serious…almost makes you feel sorry for them. (Anakin taps me on the shoulder again and questions: "Almost?" and Padme is heard giggling in the background.) And I never realized the similarity between that line and the one in Pirates of the Caribbean! I just liked how it sounded! Thank you so much for the review! **darthsquirrelpants: **Wow! I really like your penname, by the way! Really glad you like it! And Obi Wan's one of my faves too! Thank you! **Anakinsangel4evr:** Thanks for hanging in there and reading my fanfic! It means a lot. As for the floor-licking part, I don't really have an explanation; I just had the random urge to make Luke do that! And I'm glad you liked the Gungan repellant part, I was afraid it would be too cheesy. Glad to please and thanks again for acknowledging me in your story! You're so sweet! **dragoneyes171986: **You could be right. Maybe it's time that they sent Yoda to the old master's home, but the story would have gaping holes in it without him, that's fer sure! Thanks for the review, it made me smile. **Nicoley117:** Wow! The really funny thing is, I have the exact same valentines! And I handed them out on the 14th! Yay! Great minds think alike! Thank you for the review! You rock! **rockyrelay: **Thanks, dude! You're pretty wicked yourself. And I don't plan on stopping this story anytime soon. After all, the adventure's only just starting! **oliversangel: **I know! Yoda's da bomb, aint he? Thanks for reviewing! **bellamuerte:** Yeah, Obi-Wan is pretty righteous. Read on for more of the Obster Kenobster! (That's a fancy way of saying Obi-Wan. Anakin is the Anster Kananster.) Now you are scared.

Asante Sano to all who read and reviewed. Please repeat these actions again for Chappie #3!

May the Force be with you.

Beautiful Isle Jedi Chick

(Formerly known as Kickbutt Jedi Chick 4191)

Disclaimer: Not mine. None of it. I'm just borrowing, without permission. If Jack Sparrow can do it, so can I. Ha ha! I feel so powerful.

**Chapter 3**

"Good morning, Coruscant! Today is expected to be a perfect day, with pleasant weather conditions and mild temperatures for all to enjoy!" the news anchor boomed.

Obi-Wan smiled sleepily at the TV screen. "All except for me, SUCKERS!"

And with that, he chucked the empty coffee pitcher at Jick Ubuntcha. Or at least, the coffee pitcher he _thought _was empty.

He groaned as the remainder of the brown fluid trickled down the screen and dripped onto the rich, red carpet. Too tired to get up and clean up his mess, he yawned absent-mindedly. But now, Jick's face was gone and the camera panned over to the weatherman, and the screen looked sort of odd, somewhat like Obi-Wan was watching TV while wearing sunglasses with brown lenses.

With another moan of frustration, he kicked the small coffee table in front of him and howled in pain when his mere "socked" foot met the hard leg of the table.

"So destructive," a voice in the doorway chuckled.

"Shut up, Anakin. We both know that you shouldn't be talking about destruction. Destruction is your middle name."

"That it is, Obi-Wan," Anakin agreed cheerfully.

"When do we leave?" Obi-Wan grumbled.

"Relax, Master. Padme's in the 'fresher getting a shower and I'm getting breakfast for the twins. If my middle name is Destruction, then yours is Impatience."

"And what if it is, Anakin?" Obi-Wan challenged.

Anakin shrugged. "No need to get huffy." He walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge. "What sounds good, Obi-Wan?"

"Already ate," Obi-Wan replied. Anakin poked his head back out at him, looking dubious.

"What did you eat?" he asked cautiously, as if he were nervous to know the answer.

"Those waffles. You know the ones I made on Wednesday?"

Anakin's mouth dropped open. "You mean the burnt-to-a-crisp crumbly black things that you concocted in the intention of feeding them to us?"

Obi-Wan scowled. "Anakin, they tasted fine and no one else was eating them."

"I wonder why," Anakin mused, bringing out a jug of apple juice and some fruit. Obi-Wan proceeded to kick the leg of the table again, and, once again, he groaned softly when his unprotected foot made contact met the wooden rod.

Anakin paused. "Don't hurt yourself, Obi-Wan," he called.

Obi-Wan cursed under his breath. "Too late."

Anakin ignored Obi-Wan's griping and called up the stairs at Luke and Leia. "Kids, get your Force-sensitive butts down here and eat your breakfast!"

Leia bounded down the steps and into her father's arms. "Daddy!" she cried happily, "I'm so excited!"

"Me too, sweetie." he said and handed her a cup of juice.

Leia's eyes were shining with excitement. Her hair fell in messy curls upon her shoulders, because she hadn't put it up in her trademark double-bun style. "I couldn't sleep!"

"Me neither," Anakin laughed and added, "You can sleep on the way there."

"Hey, Anakin!" Obi-Wan suddenly yelled. "Should I go get Yoda? I don't know if he can make it over here without serious damage. Remember on Christmas Eve?"

With a sigh, Anakin answered affirmatively, for he did remember that night. Yoda had permanently erased any hope that the twins would believe in Santa Claus. He had tumbled down the chimney and into the fireplace at 3:00 in the morning. The bad part about all this was that Obi-Wan was still awake at this hour, watching his favorite holodrama, _When Ewoks Attack_. And that meant that the fireplace still had a roaring fire in it. Yes, Yoda's cloak had caught ablaze and Yoda starting screaming and running around until Obi-Wan had poured the rest of his jawa juice on him to douse the flames. By then, everyone was awake and Anakin had taken Yoda to the nearest med center, for his little green rear end had a couple minor burns. That had basically ruined the Skywalker family Christmas, and New Year's as well. The kids had opened their presents at the hospital, and Santa was revealed to be fake.

So Obi-Wan stood up, stretched and headed for the door. But he stopped in his tracks when Anakin asked, "Obi-Wan, did you already make the coffee?"

Obi-Wan gulped. "Yeah," he replied.

Anakin came out of the kitchen. "Did you drink it all?"

"No." Obi-Wan answered truthfully.

"Then where is it?" Anakin asked, oblivious.

Obi-Wan pointed at the empty coffee pitcher on the floor by the TV. Anakin's eyes followed the pitcher to the drops of liquid on the carpet and then to the TV screen. He sighed. "Well, I suggest you clean that up before Padme sees it."

"Before I see what Ani?" a voice called sweetly. Anakin froze. Then he said hurriedly through the Force, _"Obi-Wan, get that cleaned up now! I'll distract her."_

_"But Anakin-what about Yoda?"_

Anakin gave Obi-Wan a look. _"Forget Yoda. What Padme can do when her carpet's soiled is a whole lot worse."_

Obi-Wan nodded and raced to the kitchen for a dish towel. Leia looked up from her breakfast. "Hey, Uncle Obi-Wan," she said, mouth full.

"No time to talk Leia," Obi-Wan said digging through a drawer. "We may have a situation."

"What kind of situation?" she asked curiously.

"An If-I -Don't –Clean-This-Up-Your-Mother-Will-Kill-Me situation," Obi-Wan said, and grimaced as he opened a cabinet and found only cooking utensils.

Leia looked down at her plate thoughtfully. "Oh, that. Second drawer on the left."

"Thanks!" Obi-Wan yelled, already halfway out the door. He quickly wiped up the carpet to the best of his ability and put the empty pitcher on the table.

_"All clear."_ he said to Anakin through the Force.

He felt a wave of relief coming from Anakin. _"Good, because she's not falling for it."_

A moment later, Padme walked into the living room to find Obi-Wan watching TV. She eyed him for a second, and then headed for the kitchen.

Anakin came in a moment later, breathing a huge sigh of relief. But this was short-lived, for a loud scream wafted to their ears several seconds later. "Holy Sith! What happened to the waffle iron!" Padme said shrilly. Anakin shrugged and he heard a small voice reply.

"Mommy! Language!" Leia scolded.

"Sorry honey." Padme said quickly, eyes still on the waffle iron. It looked like someone had tried to cook a bomb in it and it had detonated.

Obi-Wan and Anakin both strolled casually into the room, innocent smiles pasted naturally on their faces. When Anakin saw the waffle iron he cried, "Man! Looks like Yoda's head that one time when he thought that stick of dynamite was a sausage link!"

"Hey!" someone yelled indignantly. "Not my fault, it was!"

Everyone turned, wide-eyed, to see Yoda, standing in the doorway to the kitchen, in _one piece._ It was amazing.

Everyone was silent until Obi-Wan finally said, "Well, that's new."

Yoda scowled. "Looked like hickory smoked goodness, it did. Not my fault."

"He has a point," Leia said. "What kind of person stores dynamite in the refrigerator?"

Anakin frowned. "It seemed like the most logical place at the time."

Obi-Wan burst out laughing. He loved having a chance to laugh at Anakin instead of Anakin laughing at him. Anakin's shoulders slumped.

"That's not the point!" Padme said, her voice brushing anger. "What happened to my waffle iron?"

Anakin pointed at Obi-Wan. "He used it last."

Padme's accusing glare locked onto Obi-Wan. He shrunk back behind Anakin. "Protect me." he whispered.

"Why me?" Anakin shot back.

"She's your wife!"

Padme put her hands on her hips. She looked quite menacing in this way. "Obi-Wan….is that true?"

"Yes, ma'am," Obi-Wan said sullenly. "On Wednesday I made waffles with it."

Padme's face shifted to show mild amusement. "Those were _waffles?"_

Obi-Wan growled under his breath. Padme smiled. "Did you just growl at me? I'm only saying, I have no clue how you made our waffle iron churn out such atrocity."

"Big word," Leia commented. Luke walked in fashionably late, and grabbed a plate, without saying a word.

Anakin stole a glance at Obi-Wan. "I'm not sure either, angel. Perhaps he actually took them to Mustafar and baked them in the lava."

"I'm gonna bake _you_ on Mustafar if you don't shut up," Obi-Wan muttered.

Anakin smiled. "I heard that, Master." Obi-Wan growled again.

Padme sighed. "Well, we need to get going. Leia, would you be a dear and help your father put all the suitcases on the ship?"

Leia looked up from her clean plate. "But I don't want to be a deer, Mommy."

Padme laughed. "It's an expression, Leia."

"Oh, okay." she agreed and followed Anakin out to the living room. Luke was eating at an outrageously fast pace.

"Slow down, Luke," Padme warned. "You'll choke."

Luke nodded and obeyed. After he swallowed, he said, "Like that one time on Easter, when Uncle Obi-Wan choked on a chocolate egg?"

Obi-Wan bristled uncomfortably. Padme grinned. "Luke, he just told you that was a chocolate egg. It was actually a LEGO."

"A LEGO?" Luke asked, amazed.

Obi-Wan scowled again. "Yes."

"Why would you do a stupid thing like that?" Luke asked.

"Master Windu put it in my jellybeans," Obi-Wan answered hesitantly and reached into one of his pockets. He pulled out a honey bun, which he downed in one bite. Then, he left the room fulling intending to help Anakin and Leia load up the ship.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Anakin was levitating the bags into the cargo hold as Leia watched, fascinated.

"Will you teach me how to do that?" she asked.

Anakin chuckled and replied, "When you're a little older, princess."

Then, he playfully lifted her up with the Force. She giggled happily.

Just then, Luke came out with his suitcase. "Daddy, make me fly next!" he cried when he saw Leia rising into the air.

Anakin set her down gently and grinned mischievously. "I don't know. If your mother saw me doing this, she'd have my head."

Leia smiled. "Yeah, you're probably right."

"Awww..man." Luke whined. "Leia always gets to have all the fun."

Anakin shook his head. "I don't know about that. You do lots of fun stuff, Luke."

Luke scowled. "Yeah, like trim Master Yoda's toenails?"

Leia laughed, but covered her mouth when Luke glared at her. Anakin smiled slightly and said, "Well, that's not exactly what I meant."

Luke shoved his suitcase to the ground. Anakin picked it up and placed it alongside Leia's. Leia turned to Luke with a look on her face that made her look eerily like her father. "He meant like cleaning behind Master Windu's toilet."

Anakin concealed his face behind the hatch so Luke wouldn't see him laughing. When he eventually pulled together a straight face, he said, "Okay, Leia, why don't you go inside and see if your mother needs any more help. Luke, come with me, we'll get the ship all ready for take off."

Luke grinned excitedly and eagerly followed his father to the cockpit.

The ship had a pilot's chair, with a co-pilot's seat right next to it. Anakin had already volunteered to fly, of course. Luke drank in all the control panel gadgets, the buttons, the levers, and other gizmos. Anakin smiled.

"Pretty nice huh?"

"Yeah!" Luke said quickly. "But where do we sit?"

Anakin grinned and pushed one of the many blinking buttons. Four seats rose out from compartments under the floor. Luke gasped.

"Wizard." he breathed. "What do we do first, Daddy?"

So, Anakin began the routine pre-takeoff sequence and Luke watched in awe as the former Boonta Eve Champion showed off his toy.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

About fifteen minutes later, Anakin sat in his pilot's chair, feet on the dashboard, twiddling his thumbs in boredom. Or more out of restraint. Otherwise, his fingers would've more or likely found their way to the controls by now. Luke had gone back to the house to try and round up the others about five minutes before, and Anakin was ready to burst.

Finally, Padme emerged from the house, face pink with apparent exhaustion. She climbed dutifully into the ship and sat in the co-pilot's chair adjacent to Anakin's.

Anakin gave her a small smile. "What happened?"

She turned to him and said slowly, "It seems Yoda found some way on top of the ceiling fan in Luke's room. I didn't know he was up there, and I turned it on."

Anakin's mouth dropped open. "Is he okay?"

"Just a little shook up." Padme assured him. "It scared me more than him, fortunately."

"Where's Obi-Wan?" Anakin wondered aloud.

"He said he was making microwave burritos for the trip."

Anakin's face twisted in horror. "What?"

Padme giggled. "Relax, Ani. I left Leia to supervise."

Anakin sighed in relief. "Someday, that guy's gonna blow up our kitchen."

Padme giggled again. "I know. He'll have to pay for it, though."

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Meanwhile, Obi-Wan popped a steaming plate of scrumptious burritos from the microwave.

"I told you I could do it, Leia." he said in a dignified tone.

Leia smirked. "Yeah, you got lucky."

Then, Luke came in wearing sunglasses with pink lenses and a Hawaiian floral print shirt.

"Luke!" Leia shrieked. "What are you doing?"

"I'm just playing the part, Leia."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Luke puffed out his chest importantly. "Well, we'd better hurry. Daddy's probably about to hyperventilate."

Leia absently straightened one of the buns she'd put in her hair. "Do you even know what hyperventilation is, Luke?"

Luke shrugged. "Something about potatoes, right?"

Leia exhaled loudly in exasperation.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Finally, everyone was rounded up and stuffed into the ship, whether they liked it or not.

"Obi-Wan, your chair, leaned too far back it is, crushing my tiny little legs, you are," Yoda protested from a baby car seat he was strapped into.

"Ewww! Luke farted!" Leia yelled.

What chaos will ensue on the ride? Reviews!


	4. Police and Podraces

Hello!

Beautiful Isle Jedi Chick here. Thanks for stopping by.

Well, I just got a bunch insanely awesome ideas for my story, so plan on some weirdly funny stuff. Special thanks to my friends in the one and only Knitting Kittens!

Thanks for reading and reviewing to:

**The Rouge Stallion:** Thank you for dropping me a line! Glad you enjoyed the Yoda on the ceiling fan part. That was yet another random thing I inserted at the last minute.

**Anakinsangel4evr:** Hello! It tickles me that Obi-Wan is growing on you. I'm very delighted to hear that. I think he's awesome. I've got a lot planned for him. And now that I mention it, Anakin has some upcoming events too!

**dragoneyes171986: **Thank you! Happy to please! A lot of people told me either through reviews or in person that that part was good. I'm honestly pleasantly surprised.

**Herald of Shadow: **Yay! I promise I'll try to update sooner from now on. It may not be so hard; I can't wait til I write some of these ideas and dish them out!

**(Waves hand mystically) You will read and review**.

**P.S.: Does anyone know how many years apart Han and Leia are? An answer would be most helpful. Thanks!**

Beautiful Isle Jedi Chick

(I suppose you could call me BJ)

Disclaimer: It's…uh….not mine. It couldn't be, my name isn't George. For this, I am glad. I don't look like a George at all. I am also a female, hence the "chick" part of my name. Not only do I not own Star Wars, but I don't own anything really. I'll make it big someday.

**Chapter 4**

Luke and Leia were arguing, their tiny, yet determined voices ringing through the ship.

Yoda sang loudly, "99 bottles of Diet Coke on the wall….."

"Are we there yet?" Padme asked sarcastically. Anakin smirked.

"Angel, I just pulled away from our house about 2 minutes ago," he said teasingly. Padme winked and nodded. She had been pointing out how this ride was going to be interesting. Luke whined from his seat at Anakin.

"Only two minutes?" came Luke's voice. "You must be slow, Daddy."

Anakin smiled wickedly. "Slow? You wanna go fast, son? I can make it happen."

Padme's eyes widened. "No, Anakin. Oh, Luke, he's not going slowly at all. You're just an impatient little boy."

Anakin shrugged sadly. "I would've shown him."

Obi-Wan piped up from behind the latest issue of _Wookiee Illustrated_. "I wanted to go fast……like a podrace."

Anakin smiled a little at that, and switched lanes casually.

"Podrace?" Luke asked, sounding very interested. "What's that?"

Anakin glanced at Padme who was pretending to be interested in something outside the viewport. He grinned, for his children did not know a great deal about their parents' pasts, being only four.

"A pod race is a very fast race by means of a pod that is built or purchased by the racer," Leia provided, as if it were the most obvious thing in the universe. "They were more common when Tatooine was controlled by the Hutts, but on some occasions, there are races held still." She was referring to how Tatooine was now more involved in the Republic, and not Hutt space, thanks mostly to Padme, who upon being elected had made many efficient changes to make the Republic better.

Anakin was quite surprised that his daughter knew so much about podracing. He looked at her in the mirror.

"How did you know that?" he asked, marveling at his little girl's intuition.

Leia beamed. "I think podracing is really cool! I once watched a race on the Holonet, and the racers went wicked fast…I wish I could see one."

Luke had listened to the entire conversation with rapturous interest. "Hey-Daddy, didn't you live on Tatooine when it was still owned by the Hutts?"

Anakin nodded. Leia glared at Luke. "Duh, Luke! He was working for that one little blue guy in Mos Espa."

Anakin had to laugh. "Watto, Leia."

Leia shrugged. "I would've guessed Wacko."

Padme covered her mouth with her hand. Anakin could tell she was laughing.

Luke bounced in his seat excitedly. "Did you ever see a podrace, Daddy?"

Anakin and Padme traded looks. Finally, Anakin nodded again. "I saw many, Luke."

Luke sighed. "That's so cool…I wish I could race…"

Padme stiffened at the mere thought. "No. Podraces are way too dangerous Luke."

Leia looked up from her coloring book. "Yeah, that's why only non-human pilots can even do it."

Anakin kept his eyes on the road, an innocent grin on his face. "No podracing for you, Luke." Then he paused. "Not until you are at least nine."

"But that's five years!" Luke protested. "Plus, Leia just said, it's not even possible."

Anakin smiled ominously. "Not necessarily." He was clearly enjoying himself.

Obi-Wan threw down his magazine and yelled, "Just tell them already!"

"Tell us what, Daddy?" Leia asked. "Ooh! Did you watch the Boonta Eve Cup anytime? My friend Mindiea said her dad got to watch it one year, front row seats too!"

Padme groaned. "That race was so horrible. Lots of people died in it. Yet, I have to admit, I did enjoy myself."

"You saw it, Mommy?" Luke asked, amazed.

Padme nodded. "Yes, Luke. I saw it. Anakin, tell them already, or I will!"

"Yeah, tell us!" Luke said loudly.

Anakin loosened his grip on the yoke and turned to his wife. "Okay, milady. As you wish."

He looked at his two children in the mirror again. Leia grinned.

"You saw it, didn't you? I bet you did, with Mommy even. Was it your first date?"

Padme gasped. "Force, no! He was only a silly little boy!"

Obi-Wan chuckled.

Anakin laughed a little as well. "No, I didn't see it." He paused, and Leia's face fell in slight disappointment. "I was in it."

Leia and Luke's mouths dropped open. "Really?" Luke asked.

"Yes, really." Anakin nodded.

"But how?" Leia asked. "No human could ever do it!"

"Except for your father." Padme said.

"Wow!" Leia shouted. "Here I am, wishing I could just see a podrace and my daddy was the only human pilot to ever fly in the Boonta Eve Championship Race!"

Anakin smiled. "I didn't just fly in it. I won it."

Luke's eyes bugged out. "You won a podrace?"

Leia answered him shrilly. "Not just any podrace! He won the Boonta Eve Cup! That is so cool! Daddy, why didn't you just tell us?"

"Because it was more fun to hear you talk about it first," Anakin said truthfully.

Obi-Wan yawned loudly. "Well, if we're all done reminiscing about the good old days, I'd like a drink."

Padme laughed. She reached into the cooler and tossed him a pop.

Yoda yelled from the back. "Hey lady! Gimme a Diet Coke!"

Padme gave him one of her Senator's frowns, but tossed him one anyway.

Leia and Luke had fallen silent. Then, Leia spoke again. "I guess there is a lot we don't know about you guys," she said, sticking her blue crayon back in the box.

Padme smiled gently at her daughter. "And what better way to learn more than a family vacation?"

"Oh, please." Obi-Wan grumbled. "Can I puke now?"

Anakin shook his head quickly. "Oh no you don't, Master. I just got this baby cleaned."

Padme scowled at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan scowled back.

She protested. "What's wrong with saying that?"

Obi-Wan answered, "Too mushy. We all know the only reason we're going on this vacation is to eat, have fun, and…….eat."

Yoda slurped his Diet Coke and yelled, "You already said that!"

"I know!"

Padme cleared her throat purposefully. She frowned when no one paid her any attention. Anakin was focused on driving, Leia on coloring her picture, Luke on Leia's drawing, Obi-Wan on Yoda, and Yoda……Yoda was singing. Again.

"I like the way you move….." Yoda screamed. Obi-Wan graciously backed him up on air guitar.

Padme cleared her throat again. Yoda paid her no mind and continued. "I like the way you move…"

Leia switched to a brown crayon and Luke commented, "Don't color that brown! It's green!"

Leia gave him a look. "Nuh-uh! I can color it whatever I want to, Luke. Plus, you don't even know what I'm drawing!"

Padme coughed loudly, but still no one noticed. Except for Anakin.

Anakin grinned and pushed a button on the dashboard. His stereo turned all the way up, drowning everyone out.

They all turned their attention to him, and he turned it off, and then cleared his throat.

"I do believe my wife wishes to say something."

Padme smiled. "Ummmm….thanks, Anakin. Anyway, I was going to tell you what I have planned for when we get to Naboo."

Yoda belched loudly. "A rest stop, we will need before then. My little green bladder, full it shall be."

Anakin grimaced. "A green bladder? Nasty."

Padme was also a little grossed out, but decided right then and there not to show it. She had had no clue about the coloration of Yoda's innards, and would never have asked.

"Well, I suppose we can stop before we arrive." Padme heard Anakin say.

"When we first get there, we will be taking our baggage to the Naboo Grand Hotel. Then, we will go on a tour of Theed."

Obi-Wan groaned loudly. "A tour? Tours are for losers."

Luke looked up. "A tour? But Mommy, weren't you Queen? Can't you just show us around?"

Padme smiled. 'I can, but I thought a tour would be more…interesting. So, I reserved us seats for a tour with Naboo Tour Company.

Yoda brandished an empty pop can and piped up, "One time, took a tour, I did of this museum. But, confused I was. All around me, giant fake creatures were staring at me and the tour guide, creepy she was."

No one was listening. It was quite common for Yoda to randomly ramble on and on about nothing in particular.

"Yeah, that's wonderful, Yoda." Anakin muttered.

Yoda became enraged and threw the pop can at Anakin's head.

"Hey!" Anakin yelled. "No throwing stuff at the driver!"

Obi-Wan smiled mischievously. 'Why not, Anakin? It's fun!"

And Obi-Wan picked up one of Leia's crayons and threw it at Anakin. The red crayon hit the back of his head.

Anakin scowled. 'Obi-Wan, do we need to have another talk about safe driving?"

Obi-Wan's eyes widened in horror. "NOOOOOOO!" He felt very sorry for either Luke or Leia, whoever ended up being Anakin's padawan learner, because Anakin's lectures were very unappealing. He had once given Obi-Wan a lecture about not driving a speeder bike through a retirement community and had somehow ended up talking about bird migration. It was interesting….but a waste of time he could've used doing something else.

Padme cleared her throat and continued, "After the tour, we will go to Sola's house for dinner. Sola is your auntie, kids. And you will meet Pooja and Ryoo, your cousins. Plus, my mother and father will be there."

Suddenly, Anakin slammed on the brakes. He recovered quickly, but was driving extra slow.

"Something wrong, Anakin?" Padme asked, concerned.

Anakin smiled nervously. 'You didn't tell me your father would be there."

Padme was confused. "Who did you think would be there…..Yoda's grandma?"

Yoda screamed loudly. "GRANDMA? My GRANDMA?"

Anakin shook his head. "No, Yoda." Then he turned to Padme. 'Now look what you've done, angel."

Padme grunted dismissively. "Well, my father will be there, Anakin. At least try to pretend you like him."

Anakin pouted. "As long as he doesn't ask me to take a stroll with him through Jobal's garden. Last time, he forced who knows what vegetables down my throat."

Padme laughed. 'He's quite proud of Mother's vegetables."

Suddenly, Luke whined, "But Mommy, I don't want my grandfather that I've never met to force vegetables down my throat…..I already have you to do that at home!"

Anakin chuckled heartily. "That is true…"

Padme scowled. "Luke, you need those vegetables. How do you think your father and Uncle Obi-Wan got to be such big strong Jedi?"

Luke glanced at Obi-Wan. "Big in what way?"

Padme sighed. "Muscular and strong, I mean."

Luke paused, then said, "Ummmmm…..working out?"

Obi-Wan smiled. "Yeah right. We're lazier than a herd of banthas on a hot Tatooine day."

Anakin shot Obi-Wan a look. "Speak for yourself, Master."

Obi-Wan frowned. "Whatever, Anakin."

Leia held up her completed picture. Padme glanced at it. It was a swirl of just about every color in her crayon box.

"That's lovely honey," Padme said kindly, "What is it?"

Leia smiled, in that same way that made her look weirdly a lot like Anakin. "It's Luke."

Luke jumped. 'What? You told me it was Obi-Wan!"

Leia scoffed. "I changed my mind. And you don't get it Luke, it's a picture of what you would look like after a race if you pod raced."

Luke's face scrunched up angrily. "Leia!" Then he turned to his parents. "Mom, Dad, Leia's being mean."

Anakin didn't even look at him. "Yeah, yeah…..that's great son."

Padme grinned. "Children, please get along."

Anakin announced that he was going to speed up and take advantage of the Jedi speed limit.

Leia, now aware of the speeds her father was capable of, asked nervously, "Which is?"

Anakin grinned evilly. "There is no speed limit."

Leia sighed. 'I had to ask."

An hour later, Obi-Wan and Luke were asleep, Luke's head stretched across into Obi-Wan's lap. Leia was chatting animatedly with Yoda about Anakin's younger days.

"Is it true that Daddy was really really bad?" she asked.

Anakin groaned from the driver's seat. "No. Don't listen to him, Leia. Whatever he says is a lie."

Yoda smiled. "In that case, Anakin, the best he was, better than everyone else."

"Well, that is a lie…." Anakin admitted. "We did get into some trouble, Obi-Wan and I."

Upon hearing his name, Obi-Wan jolted awake. "Whoa, horsey! WHOA!" he yelled. Then he looked around, embarrassed. "Oh. Just a dream. Sorry."

Padme, who had been reading a magazine about Naboo, gave him a look. "Luke's sleeping Obi-Wan. Keep it down."

"Well, excuse me Chancellor!" Obi-Wan griped, and then looked down at Luke. "AAAAAAAAAH!" he screamed. "He drooled on me!"

Anakin couldn't stifle his laughter. He was laughing so hard, tears were streaming down his face.

Padme giggled, but then turned to Anakin. "Ani! Settle down, you have to drive remember?"

Anakin stopped laughing immediately but gave Obi-Wan an I- Told-You –So look. Then he said, "I guess you've learned your lesson. When Anakin warns you not to let Luke fall asleep on you, you'd best pay attention."

Padme glanced at the control panel. "We'll be on Naboo in a half hour."

Obi-Wan frowned and pushed Luke's head off his lap. "Man…..it looks like I wet myself!"

Yoda cracked up, and Padme noticed he was sipping another Diet Coke. At the foot of his car seat was a pile of empty cans. She was quite perturbed as to how Yoda was able to get his hands on the cooler without her noticing.

But she couldn't ponder this for more then a few seconds, because she caught a glimpse of blue and cherry lights behind their ship.

"Anakin! There are cops behind us!" she shrieked.

Anakin was gradually slowing down. He smiled listlessly. "Idiots." He allowed the air speeder carrying a traffic controller to pull up beside him.

"Yes, officer?" he asked politely.

The officer looked angry. "Do you have any idea how fast you were going sir?"

Anakin smiled innocently. "If I had to guess, I'd say about 3 parsecs an hour sir."

The officer looked flustered, but regained his composure. "Yes. Yes, and do you know what the speed limit is?"

Anakin replied instantly. '1 ½ parsecs an hour, officer."

The officer scowled at him. "So you were going 3 in a 1½ zone."

"Yes. Wonderful discovery, Sherlock. You and Holmes over there can go back to your donuts now."

He pointed at the officer's partner, who was stuffing his face in the car.

Obi-Wan yelled form the back, "Those better not be Jansen's Donuts!"

The officer looked even angrier. "I'm going to have to arrest you, sir."

Anakin smiled again. "Really?" He pulled out his lightsaber. "I must say, Sherlock, you have done well on this case. But there is one itty bitty piece of the puzzle you've forgotten."

The officer stared, dumbfounded.

"I'm a Jedi, you dope." Anakin offered.

His scarlet face paled. 'Oh…..I'm so sorry, sir. I didn't know…..you…you may pass…so sorry for the inconvenience."

Obi-Wan yelled again. "You must be the dumbest dummy in the galaxy! Haven't you ever heard of Anakin Skywalker?"

The officer smiled. 'Why, as a matter of fact, I have. You guys know him?"

Anakin frowned and started to drive off. Then, he poked his head out the window and yelled, "Goodbye, officers."

The officer's partner yelled back, "Say hello to Skywalker for us!"

Anakin smiled again. 'Don't worry, I won't."

Before they could reply, he was off.

The first officer scowled. "Geez, what was his problem?"

The other one shrugged. "And what's wrong with Jansen's Donuts?"

Anakin was slowly lowering the ship onto a landing platform at Naboo International Spaceport. Padme turned around. Luke was now awake, looking wide-eyed at the other ships. Leia was playing with one of her dolls, one that resembled a Queen's handmaiden. Obi-Wan was……for reasons beyond Padme's comprehension, playing with Yoda's empty pop cans. He had constructed a full-scale model of Yoda and was in the process of putting the last can into Yoda's hand. She sighed.

Yoda looked quite worried. "Anakin…...?" he called.

"What now, Yoda?" Anakin asked.

"Forgot, we did, about the rest stop."

Anakin answered, "Yoda, there is bound to be a restroom here somewhere."

"But another problem we have, Anakin. And worse this one is."

Anakin turned around. "What is it?"

"Out of Toaster Strudels and Diet Coke I am."

Padme groaned. "I wonder how that could be."

_Well, hope you liked it. Reviews please!_


	5. Yoda's Irresistable Charms

Hi all!

Happy to say that I received many great reviews for the last chapter. You guys know that warm fuzzy feeling you get when someone says something nice to you? I got that, a lot. Thank you sooooo much for all your feedback, without it I would never be writing such a fun story.

I'm really enjoying writing this, but I have plans for a serious story (gasp) in the making. For now, the randomness and hilarity will continue, trust me.

I also am thinking of changing my penname again, I will let you guys know.

Again, special thanks to all my friends in the Knitting Kittens, who gave me such wonderfully perfect ideas and inspiring me to continue full throttle. You guys are the best!

**Trish Stratus Chick: **Yay! You have "Chick" in your name too! Thanks for the kind review; I'm glad you are enjoying my story.

**Phantom'sJediBandieGirl: **Wow! Thank you so much! I'm happy that you are still reading and reviewing. It's really wonderful to get such great reviews. Glad you liked the LEGO and Yoda model parts, Obi-Wan tends to be random, eh?

**LadyAmaltheaSantiagoSnowflake: **I agree, the sibling rivalry between Leia and Luke is pretty cool, not to mention really fun to write! Yes, Jansen's Donuts have not left the story; they are a big part of it, actually. Thanks for reviewing!

**yeah sw rocks my socks: **Thank you for the review. I know, Obi-Wan and Yoda are quite idiotic, but it's so fun to write their characters that way! To answer your question, Luke and Leia are four years old right now. Glad you enjoyed it!

**Anakinsangel4evr: **Hi! Thanks for the lovely comments. I thought about Anakin actually going fast, but I wanted the conversation to flow toward Ani and Padme's past, so I saved the speed for the part with the cops in it. I'm delighted that you enjoyed the last chapter. Hope you like this one too.

**keffygirl: **So nice of you to leave me such a wonderful review. Yes, laughs is kinda what I was hoping for, so I'm glad I got some! Thanks!

**Herald of Shadow: **Yeah, thanks for the review. I'm glad you guys are laughing, that's what I'm aiming for.

**rockyrelay: **Hello! Thanks for dropping by and giving me such a wonderful review. I'm really happy that you like my story!

**The Rouge Stallion:** Wow! Glad you like it. Yes, I liked the stupid police officer part too. I was laughing as I typed it. The model of Yoda was quite random, inserted at the last minute. Thanks!

**Princess-Aiel: **To quote you, my "great, funny little story" is coming along quite well. Much thanks to reviewers like you!

**Jedi X-Man Serena Kenobi: **Gotta tell ya, I was delighted that you reviewed my story. I'm a fan of yours, so it was an honor. You're not bad at humor yourself, so a compliment from you must mean something. Thanks!

**Tabbycat: **LOL. Next time, maybe you should read the story before reviewing. Thanks anyway, though. (smiles)

**_I have an important question to ask! If anyone knows, please tell me ASAP. I need to know how many years apart Han and Leia are in age. I asked for that in the last few chapters, very nicely, because I think it'd be pretty cool to add Han to this story, but I hafta figure out how old he'd be in comparison to Leia. Thanks! _**

Hope you love Chapter 5!

May the Force be with you,

BJ (short for full penname)

Chapter 5

Anakin sat, somewhat impatiently outside the men's restroom. He'd been waiting for a total of eight minutes and was eager to leave. Truth be told, the Naboo spaceport was bustling with activity, crowded with interplanetary beings in a hurry to get where they wanted, just like Anakin.

Finally, Yoda strutted somewhat proudly out of the restroom, sipping a…..you guessed it: Diet Coke.

Anakin frowned at him, "What took you so long?"

Yoda looked innocently up at Anakin. "Well, a vending machine there was. A pop for only 50 cents. An offer that pass up, I could not. But jammed it was."

Anakin didn't like where this was going. He stole a quick peek into the restroom, and saw just what he hadn't wanted to see. The vending machine was on its side, smoking profusely, with large lightsaber gashes in it. A young boy pointed at the machine and wailed, "Momma! I can't get a soda now! Somebody's Grandpa killed it!"

Anakin turned back to Yoda, arms folded in front of his chest.

Yoda grinned. "Used my saber, I have not in a long long time."

Anakin sighed. "Yoda, what am I going to do with you?"

Yoda shrugged. "Hmmmm…..I know! You can put me to work at a Coke factory! Those big time businessmen, rich they are. Afford a nicer house, I could! "

Anakin smirked. "As if you'd work. And there is nothing wrong with your house anyway."

Yoda smiled. "Perhaps right you are. If rich, I was, then skinny-dipping in Diet Coke, I would be."

And he seemed to drift into a dream-like trance at the thought. Anakin, however, tried not to think of the mental image Yoda might have planted in his head.

He grabbed the daydreaming Yoda and pulled him into the crowd. He forgot all about the vending machine, and decided to also conveniently forget to tell Padme.

Padme was sitting on a bench with Leia. She smiled in relief when she saw her husband approaching.

"Anakin, I just escaped some Holonet reporters. They spotted me! I told Bail to tell the public I would be absent for personal and private matters, but I guess they saw the Chancellor and decided to investigate."

Anakin grinned. 'Don't worry. We'll be out of here soon, Angel. Where's Obi-Wan?"

Leia pointed at the concession stand. "He's buying me some cotton candy."

Padme nodded. "And Luke went with him to get popcorn."

Anakin grinned. "Okay."

He sat next to his wife on the bench and Leia scooted into his lap.

"Mommy?" Leia asked. "How long are we staying at the hotel?"

"We are staying for three days. Then we move on to stay at the Lake House."

"What's the Lake House like?" Leia inquired curiously.

Anakin wrapped one arm around his daughter and said, "You'll love it, sweetheart."

Padme agreed. "It's so beautiful. And it's where your daddy and I got married."

"And where we had our first kiss." Anakin added.

Leia grimaced. "Ewwww! Kissing boys is so gross!"

Both Anakin and Padme smiled. "You'll find some lucky guy somday and you won't think it's that gross!" Padme answered.

Obi-Wan handed Leia her cotton candy and sat next to Anakin as Anakin said, "Oh, Padme. Don't scare me like that. She's only four."

Padme looked at her husband mischievously. "Someday, Leia will find a handsome suitable man and she'll fall in love just like I fell in love with you…..and then, they will share their first kiss."

Anakin grumbled, "It's a bit early to be talking about that, Angel."

Leia spit out a piece of her cotton candy. "Yeah, Mommy. I'm eating!"

Anakin and Padme laughed at that.

Padme grinned. "You will have to give up your Princess to someone someday, Anakin."

Anakin muttered, "I don't look forward to that day. Probably some scoundrel, too."

Luke piped up. "Girls are nasty."

Padme looked at him. "I'm a girl, am I nasty?"

"Only when you kiss Daddy." Luke replied resolutely. Obi-Wan chuckled.

Anakin stood up, Leia in his arms. "Ready to go?"

Padme followed suit, picking up her suitcase and stretching. "Let's check in to that hotel, so we can go on that tour."

Obi-Wan protested. "Can't we just watch one of those videos on the hotel's sleep couches?"

Padme gave him a look. "No, Obi-Wan, we cannot."

"Ohhhhh mannnnnnnn." he said.

The family headed for the exit. They took a trolley into downtown Theed. It was a short ride, and soon they had got off and were walking to the hotel.

Padme marched purposefully up to the receptionist's desk at the Naboo Grand Hotel. She cleared her throat and the clerk looked up, and then jolted at the sight.

"Chancellor Skywalker! My apologies, ma'am. I did not see you come in. We are honored by your presence."

Padme smiled cheerfully. "Thank you. I have a deluxe suite reservation. I believe it has three sleeping quarters?"

The clerk entered some information into a data pad on her desk. "Yes, it is Room 126, I will take you up."

Padme nodded. "Thanks we appreciate it."

Anakin came up behind Padme, carrying Leia, who had fallen asleep. Luke was following him, and Yoda was on his head. Obi-Wan was on Anakin's other side, apparently having a thumb war with Yoda while he was up there.

The receptionist noticed Anakin and the twins, and, unfortunately, Yoda.

"Master Skywalker, it is an honor to meet you. Your reputation precedes you I'm afraid."

Anakin smiled slightly. Luke pointed at the receptionist's hair. "Gee whiz! You've got some fuzzy hair, woman!"

Padme scolded him, "Luke, that was rude. Apologize immediately." But Anakin looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. Padme sent him a half-hearted glare.

The receptionist cooed. "Ah, no matter. Children will be children. You may call me Gira, please let me know if I can be of any assistance."

Yoda piped up from atop Anakin, because apparently the thumb war was finished. "Right, young Luke is. "Wish I brought my hedge clippers, I do."

Anakin tried to scowl at Yoda, but couldn't because of the aged Jedi Master's current location. He spoke up.

"Yoda….any particular reason that you are on my head?"

"Your hair, very soft it is."

Anakin decided he wanted to drop the subject then, but Yoda continued. "What kind of shampoo do you use?"

Anakin groaned and Padme looked nervously at Gira, who was staring at Yoda with a funny look on her face.

She shook her head dismissively and grabbed their room key. "Follow me, please."

The Skywalker family and company did just that. When Gira stopped at Room 126, Leia was awake and walking alongside Padme and Yoda was still perched upon Anakin's head, now drinking a Diet Coke.

Anakin scowled. "Yoda, please be careful. It's weird enough that you are up there, and you spilling Coke on me definitely wouldn't improve matters."

Yoda burped and yelled. "Worry, do not! Always careful I am!"

Leia looked up at Yoda and rolled her eyes. "Yes, I'm sure you were being careful when you single-handedly destroyed Mommy's red futon."

Padme's shoulders slumped. "Aww…I loved that futon."

Gira looked impatient. She handed the key to Padme. "There you go, Chancellor. I do hope everything is to you and your family's liking."

"I'm sure it will be. Thank you, Gira." Padme replied, and Gira retreated down the elevator.

Padme opened the door and the entire entourage entered a lavish hotel room. The door opened into a spacious main room, with a kitchenette of to the side and a fresher on the other side. Three archways opened into large bedroom areas, complete with full beds and closets.

Obi-Wan's jaw dropped. "Sweet."

Leia immediately ran into one of the bedrooms and scrambled onto the bed. She began jumping wildly up and down. "Wow! These springs are even better than the ones at home!"

Yoda, in a moment of joy, and rare action, performed an amazing Force leap from Anakin's head to another bed. He started jumping also, with his Diet Coke in hand.

Obi-Wan smirked. 'I guess Yoda's chosen his bed."

Padme turned to grin innocently at him. "His bed? You mean your bed. The hotel's maximum suite size was three bedrooms, so you and Yoda will be sharing."

Obi-Wan's groan wasn't very soft. Anakin smiled. "Unless you'd rather share with Luke."

Obi-Wan's eyes widened in panic. "No way. I like to sleep on a dry mattress, thanks."

Luke looked confused and oblivious. "What are you talking about? I don't wet the bed."

Padme laughed. "I'm not even making Leia share a bed with Luke. Luke, honey, do you mind sleeping on one of the couches?"

Luke shook his head. Obi-Wan piped up. "Can I have a couch too?"

Padme sighed. "Better you than Yoda. I'm not paying for a couch."

Yoda looked up from his jumping. "What?"

Anakin smiled. "Nothing Yoda."

But Leia, adopting her innocent mischief once more said, "Its okay, we still love you even if you destroy almost everything you touch."

Padme giggled. Yoda frowned. "Whatever, kid."

Obi-Wan sat on one of the couches. "Ahhhh…..comfy."

Padme said, "Don't get too comfortable, we've got a tour in an hour."

Obi-Wan groaned again and turned on the holoscreen. "Best make the most of my day before that dumb tour."

Padme put the practically empty cooler into the fridge. Anakin grabbed some suitcases and began helping Padme get everyone settled in.

Luke sat on the edge of a couch looking grumpy. "Uncle Obi-Wan, what did you mean by a dry mattress? I mean, I'm four years old and I am potty trained."

Yoda joined Obi-Wan on the couch. "Wow, young Luke, surpassed my original impression of you, you have. Thought possible for you, that was not."

"Oh, shut up you ugly green troll." Luke muttered.

Yoda's eyes widened in shock. "What call me did you?"

Obi-Wan's eyes were hopelessly glued to the screen. "I think he called you an ugly green troll."

Yoda promptly scrambled over to Luke's couch and poured the remainder of his Coke on Luke's head. Luke screamed as the cold fluid soaked his hair.

"Hahaha, the first lesson you have learned." Yoda said triumphantly. "Make fun of me, you shall not."

Padme poked her head out from the kitchenette. "Behave, you three."

Luke yelled, "Mooommmmmy! Yoda went crazy and poured his dumb pop on me."

The next thing Luke heard was Anakin laughing. "Did you call him an ugly green troll by any chance?"

Luke sighed. "Yeeesss."

Anakin laughed again. "Then I think you deserved it, son."

Leia came out of her bedroom with a baseball cap on her head and she was holding the Naboonian magazine that Padme had earlier. "So what exactly are we gonna see on the tour, Mommy?"

Padme came out of the kitchenette, wiping her hands. She sat on Luke's couch, for he had gotten up to change his shirt. "Well, you will see the grandest sights of Theed."

Leia's face lit up. "Like the palace?"

Padme smiled. "Definitely the palace."

Anakin came out and joined them, soon immersing himself in the holoscreen as well.

Padme sighed. Leia giggled.

Luke came out with a fresh shirt on, sending Yoda a cautious glance. Now it seemed Yoda was busying himself with studying his fingernails closely.

Padme noticed the lack of action and got up. "Let's go guys."

Anakin looked up. "But, angel, we still have an hour before the tour."

Padme shrugged. "It's a big city; we'll find something to do."

Obi-Wan groaned and turned off the screen. "If we are gonna do something, can we eat some lunch, I'm starved!"

Padme smiled. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but great idea, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan jumped up. "I'll make it!"

Then, in an instant, Anakin was up as well. "Oh, no you won't."

Obi-Wan pouted. Padme announced. "We'll go out. Naboonian cuisine is delicious."

Luke got up as well, with Leia following. Obi-Wan yelled, "Hang on! Lemme go find my camera!"

He produced a digital camera from his still packed suitcase. "Okay, let's go."

The Skywalker family…and friends began to trek through the halls of the hotel. Suddenly, Yoda shouted, "Anakin!"

Anakin turned around with a half amused half annoyed look on his face. "What now, Yoda?"

Yoda leaped onto Anakin's head and said, "All aboard the Anakin Express! Chugga chugga chugga…..choo choo!"

Anakin winced. "Yoda, you seriously need to trim your fingernails."

Yoda nodded. "Yes, thinking that I was earlier.Have to get busy, Luke shall."

Luke grimaced at the thought. Leia giggled.

Gira looked up from her desk and smiled at Padme. "Have fun, Chancellor."

Padme cast a glance over her shoulder at her company. "Don't worry, we'll have a blast."

When Gira saw Yoda atop Anakin again she yelled, "Be careful there, wouldn't want the little leprechaun falling off."

Anakin could sense Yoda's surprise quite easily. Yoda's eyes widened again, and Anakin was glad that for once, Yoda's hand had no Coke can. Still, he couldn't be too careful.

"Yoda..." he began. But Yoda smiled.

"After me Lucky Charms they are!" he blurted. Gira grinned and waved half-heartedly.

Leia smiled politely and said, "Goodbye, ma'am."

Gira smiled and said, "Well, aren't you the cutest little thing?"

Leia smiled, but Obi-Wan sniffed sadly. "I'm cute too…" he murmured.

Yoda jumped off Anakin's head and landed directly in front of Gira and yelled, "The King of Cute, I am! Lookit me! Wahoo! Lookit the little leprechaun!" Then, he proceeded to dance atop Gira's clipboard.

Gira's mouth was so wide; Anakin didn't doubt that a Republic spacecruiser could fit inside.

He scooped Yoda up and smiled apologetically. Padme cleared her throat awkwardly. "Ummm….." she searched for words. "I'm awfully sorry about Yoda here. He's a little…..ummmm…" Padme, unusually, had no clue what to say.

Leia spoke up, "Insane?"

Padme nodded.

Gira's mouth twisted as she tried to smile. "Gee, ya think?"

The gang shuffled out in silence, but when they reached the door, Yoda screamed, "Oh no! Found me cereal they have!"

He then turned around from his newly regained spot atop Anakin's head and said to Gira, "Lucky Charms, a part of this complete breakfast they are."

When the group had left, Gira sighed and rubbed her temples. "They don't pay me enough for this job."

_Please review! If you don't may the Force…ummmmm…..bring havoc to your life in the form of giant invisible tractors and man-eating pieces of broccoli. Yes, that's it. Thanks!_


	6. Weight Loss, Candy, and Jansen

Hello again! I'm sorry if I confused you, but the name change was…necessary. I must make note of something. I'm not sure I'm completely satisfied with the focus of the story being Obi-Wan and Yoda, so I'm going to try and give the Skywalkers some more action. Hope you enjoy it!

Yes, Han is a definite. He will come, and it will be great. Yay! Oh, and as for Obi's new interest, you'll find out soon enough!

May the Force be with you. Always.

**Arie**

**Disclaimer: **Nothing but the plot, original characters, and the dialogue is mine. It all belongs to George.

**Chapter 6**

Anakin put an arm around his wife and sighed happily. It felt so good to be out with his family, just enjoying the mere fact that they were together. It was especially welcoming, for the Skywalkers had been hit hard with action and never really got to go out and have fun together. And, Anakin had to admit, having Obi-Wan and Yoda with them was all right too.

Padme smiled at him and she seemed to be thinking the same thing. Anakin reflected on how much work Padme had put into helping the Republic rebuild after Palpatine had been discovered as the Sith lord, and she was voted in as the successor. This was all shortly after Luke and Leia had been born, and since then, she'd been up to her eyeballs in work. He knew she was relishing this time with her kids.

Leia scanned the menu. "Mommy, I don't know what to get."

"Try something new, sweetie." Padme suggested. "Your father and I once had this really good soup on Naboo…I can't remember what it was called."

Luke scowled. "No potato chips? What am I supposed to eat?"

Obi-Wan laughed. "How about the Naboonian daggert steak?"

Anakin smiled. "That thing is huge. Luke could never finish it."

Obi-Wan grinned back. "But I could."

Anakin tilted his head to one side and a mischievous smile lit up his face. "Okay, Master. If you can finish the entire steak, I will pay for it. If you can't, you have to pay for my meal, and Padme's."

Padme frowned. "I'm not sure that's such a hot idea, Ani. I don't want him to be sick on the tour."

Anakin scowled. "Maaannnn….oh well."

Obi-Wan sighed too. "I'll split it with Yoda."

Yoda looked at the picture. "Trying to lose weight, I am."

Everyone gave him a look. They weren't sure if he was kidding or not.

Yoda noticed. "Serious, I am." He had read their minds.

Anakin shook his head. "Is that why it's Diet Coke, not Coke?"

Yoda nodded. "And that's why more…..active I am now."

Leia smirked. "Active? Is that what you call it?"

Everyone laughed. A cheery voice cut through their laughter. "Well, hi! Welcome to Naboo! I see we're all in a good mood today!"

The waitress had short brown hair, and had braces. She smiled.

Padme grinned back politely. "Yes, we're all just happy to be out together on vacation."

Padme smiled again. "I loved this restaurant as a child. I couldn't resist bringing my family…and close friends here today."

"Well, I'm Kat and I will be your server this afternoon. It's wonderful to see you all here."

Padme gave the waitress a closer look. "Kat? Kat Maurinn?"

Kat's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Padme! Oh my, I did not recognize you at first! Stars, it's been ages!"

Padme edged out of the booth to give her a hug. "Yes, it has."

Kat smiled, "But you're the Chancellor now, the talk of the town. You make Naboo so proud… surely you don't have time for such outings?"

Padme smiled. "I don't. But this is mostly my husband's doing. He basically dragged me out here."

Anakin made a pretend pout face. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Padme smiled. "Of course not, Ani. I will always remember this time because I'm having so much fun!"

Kat's eyes lit up. "Padme, dear, please introduce your beautiful family to me!"

Padme grinned. "Kat, this is my husband, Anakin."

Anakin smiled. "A friend of Padme's is a friend of mine."

Kat looked amazed. "Wow, I can't believe little Padme Naberrie went and got married! To a Jedi, no less!"

"And these are our children, Luke and Leia." Padme said gesturing to each twin as she said their name.

Kat squeezed Padme's shoulders. "And had kids too! My goodness! Who are these other handsome gentlemen?"

Leia smirked. "Handsome?"

Obi-Wan smiled. "Hey, I appreciate a lady who can tell _the truth_."

"This is Obi-Wan, our dear friend, and Yoda, who has been something of a grandfather to our children."

Yoda's ears perked up. "Calling me old, are you?"

Padme sighed. "Let's face it Yoda, you are what, in your 800s?"

Yoda mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like, "Senators. Think that everything, they know."

Kat sighed sadly, "Well, I hate to leave, but I have to get back to work, so what do you guys want to eat today?"

Everyone ordered specialty sandwiches, except for Obi-Wan, who ordered the steak, despite Padme's warning. Yoda reluctantly agreed to split it.

Yoda growled. "Going to regret this, I am."

Anakin gave Yoda an inquisitive look. "Why the sudden urge to lose weight?"

"Just trying to lose weight, I am not. Exercising and eating right, I am. To be fit, I need."

Padme asked, "But why?"

Yoda gave Padme a toothy grin. "Because maybe want to look my best I do."

Luke smiled. "Looking for a lady, Master Yoda?"

Yoda turned to Luke, looking grumpy. "Even if I was, business of yours it is not."

Luke didn't answer. Everyone laughed, for they knew he had found it most wise to shut his mouth sometimes rather than flap his lips.

Soon, the order had arrived and the group got to eating. Obi-Wan's plate was soon empty.

Padme looked at Obi-Wan's plate in horror. "Obi-Wan Kenobi! I swear, if you are sick later on, I will scream."

Anakin shook his head in amazement. "I'm glad we didn't make the bet."

Leia took another bite of her sandwich and said, "Hey mommy, this bread is really yummy."

Padme grinned. "It's made from Pom flour, a staple on Naboo."

Luke dropped his sandwich. "Ewwww…they eat staples here on Naboo?"

Anakin laughed into his drink.

"No, Luke." Padme replied. "Not the kind of staple you'd find on my desk."

Luke looked confused, but said, "Oh."

-----------------------------------------

Fifteen minutes later, the group had paid the bill, said goodbye to Kat, and left the restaurant, ready for the tour.

Obi-Wan took a glance at his infamous Burger King watch. "Aww…that's too bad, Padme. Still not time for our tour…well, I guess we'll have to go back to the hotel."

Padme replied coolly, "You wish, Master Kenobi. We're going to take a look around."

Leia's eyes lit up. "Can we look in one of the little shops?"

Padme grinned, "Sure, sweetie."

Anakin groaned in mock anguish. "Oh dear, my little princess is turning into her mother. Soon, she'll be waiting outside the mall at 4:30 for early bird specials."

Padme laughed. "With her lucky man."

Anakin frowned, but couldn't reply, for Yoda jumped onto his head again, and his long nails were not all too welcoming.

Yoda sensed Anakin's discomfort, but wasn't sympathic at all. "Giddy up, horsey!"

That had been the wrong thing to say.

Obi-Wan stopped in his tracks. "HORSEY!"

Padme put a hand on his arm as several passerby turned to stare. "Don't worry, Obi-Wan. There no are horses on Naboo. And if my husband was a horse, I think I would probably know by now."

Obi-Wan sighed in relief. "Good. I thought for a second that I was going to have a heart attack."

Leia pointed at a small store across the road. "Let's go there."

Padme read the sign. "Lora's Baked Goods. Okay, Leia. In the mood for dessert?"

Leia nodded. " Sounds really good right about now."

So they all made their way into the cozy little shop. Upon entrance, they were bombarded with an array of fabulous aromas.

Luke sniffed the air. "Smells delicious."

Obi-Wan nodded in agreement. "Sure does."

The main room had a roaring fire and shelves full of confections and cakes.

Obi-Wan said, "Padme, this isn't too special, there is one of these of Coruscant."

Padme shook her head. "That's another store. Probably import goods from Naboo, though."

A cheerful-looking man came out of the back room and smiled when he caught sight of his customers.

"Hello there! Welcome to Lora's Baked Goods."

Obi-Wan gave him a quizzical look. "I take it you're not Lora."

The man laughed heartily and replied, "Definitely not. Lora's my girlfriend. I'm just helping her out in the shop today."

Padme smiled. "Well, we'll let you know if you can help us in any way."

The man's eyes widened and Padme sighed, somewhat sick of this treatment.

"You're the Chancellor! Great jumping marzipan!"

Anakin laughed a little at that. Then the man turned to face Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Yoda…or rather, Anakin's new headpiece.

"And Jedi! My oh my! Lora! Lora, get out here!"

A rather tall woman with shoulder length brown hair came out, her eyes surveying the group. "Honey, what is it? You are making such a ruckus, I'm afraid you may cause another incident."

He smiled at her lovingly. "Sorry, dear. But the Chancellor and three Jedi walked in and I was only excited."

Lora scooted into another room, which Anakin assumed was her kitchen. She began rummaging through the drawers. "Jedi, eh?" she murmured as she searched. "That's quite... exhilarating."

Yoda clambered down Anakin's sleeve and climbed onto a table full of delicious looking candies. "Mmmmmm. Food…"

Obi-Wan, meanwhile, was eyeing the large layered cakes that sat on the window with a hungry look in his eyes.

Padme jumped in front of his line of vision. "Oh no you don't. You _will_ get sick if I let you eat that."

Obi-Wan stamped his foot. "Ohhhhh maaaaannnn."

Padme said firmly. "No."

Obi-Wan muttered, "Yes, Mother."

Lora suddenly yelled, "Where art thou marshmallows?"

Her partner shrugged. "Sorry, darling. I haven't seen them."

Lora came out looking sad. "But I wanted to make a casserole…"

Her voice sounded almost like a little child pleading to ride a ride at the fair.

"Marshmallow casserole?" Obi-Wan asked. "Sounds amazing."

Lora shook her head in dismay. "I would've made some for you, sonny."

Leia ran over to Padme holding a small container. "What're these, Mommy?"

Lora answered for Padme. "Nommi."

The man smiled. "It's a type of Gungan candy sweetheart. It's quite flavorful."

Padme grinned. "You may buy a box if you want, Leia."

Luke whined suddenly. "What do I get? I never get anything."

Padme scowled. "Luke, if you let me look, maybe I will find something."

Lora eyes narrowed. "Patience is a virtue, little boy."

Leia grinned as she handed Lora a few credits. "Patience may be a virtue, but it sure isn't fun."

Lora smiled at Leia. "You are right, young one."

Yoda held up a cupcake. "I want this, Anakin."

Anakin glanced at the cupcake. "That's great, Yoda. Do you have any money for it?"

Yoda looked uncomfortable. "Ummm… yeah, about that….well you see my money fell down the drain when taking a shower, I was. Tried to get it out, I did, but stuck it was."

Padme's face lit up as it dawned upon her. "That's why you wanted to lose weight all of a sudden! So you could fit down the drain!"

Luke merely eyed Yoda with a curious look on his face. "You take _showers?"_

Yoda frowned, and Anakin imagined a steam cloud coming out of each of his ears. "Warned you, I did, young Luke. The last straw that was."

And in a flash, Yoda had pulled out his lightsaber. He jumped and with a shriek, landed right next to Luke. "Wanna dance, Lukey?"

Anakin normally would've been rolling around on the floor with laughter, but they were in the middle of a candy shop. Padme looked horrified. Obi-Wan… hadn't taken his eyes off the cakes.

Lora yelled suddenly, "No dancing! I'm allergic to dancing. Now stop it, both of you."

Yoda deactivated his saber, obviously disappointed. Luke sighed in relief.

Jansen looked at Lora. "You aren't allergic to dancing. You're allergic to blossom wine."

Anakin smiled. "But it worked didn't it?"

Padme grinned at Lora. "Thanks, ma'am."

Lora merely waved her thanks off and said, "Jansen, dear, will you help me find the marshmallows?"

Obi-wan gasped for air, his eyes now focused on Lora's boyfriend. "JANSEN?"

Jansen nodded. "Yes….is there a problem sir?"

Obi-wan shook his head, backing up, "No, please don't hurt me! I'm too young to die! There's so much I still have to do in my life!"

Anakin nodded. "Yeah, like quit eating so much, exercise more, and get off your lazy butt and help do chores at the Temple…."

Obi-Wan shook his head wildly, in a panic. "No! I have to get married! I have to built the world's largest spitball, climb a mountain, eat 50 hot dogs in one sitting, go skydiving, meet Mickey Mouse and grow the world's first purple tangerine!"

Anakin shrugged. "Hey, at least he hassome kind of goals."

Jansen looked lost. "Hey, man. I'm not gonna hurt ya, cool your jets."

Lora nodded. "Jansen's going to help me find the marshmallows..." Then, she said firmly, "Right, honey?"

"Whatever you wish for, love," Jansen said back, but Anakin could tell he didn't want to look at all.

Obi-Wan's eyes bulged even bigger, so much so that Leia was reminded of her Saturday morning Holonet shows.

"But…but….I stole your donuts!"

Jansen cocked an eyebrow. "Huh?"

Obi-wan swallowed. "I'm sorry! I didn't know! They said, Jansen's Donuts, but I was just trying to be nice and surprise these two kids with some breakfast…"

Jansen sighed, "Look, man. I have no clue what you are talking about. I'm just a humble man you helps his girlfriend out in her shop."

Obi-Wan sighed. "Pheeewww. For a second, I thought you owned Jansen's Donuts."

Jansen winked. "Only in the summer. Right now, my brother Hansen has that covered."

Obi-Wan looked uncomfortable. "Ahhhhhh…never mind."

Padme motioned to Anakin and Anakin took Obi-Wan out of the shop. "Sorry for any trouble we've caused," Padme said truthfully. "We have to leave now anyways."

But Jansen and Lora didn't care. Lora seemed to have changed to subject.

"But Janny! Why can't I have a kangaroo? I want one! There comes a time in every girl's life that she needs a kangaroo by her side……for moral support."

Jansen smirked, doubt written all over his face. "Really?"

Lora nodded. "True story."

And Padme took her children's hands and led them out of the shop, Yoda tailing behind yelling, "Anakin! Wait up, you meanie! My bones, aching they are! Stop! Don't cha know it's illegal to be mean to little green people! I oughta turn you in!"

**Yes, this chapter was a bit on the short side, but the next is the tour, and I promise that will be interesting. So bear with me. If you were wondering why there is so much cake and sweets in this chapter, it's because my birthday was a few days ago and I've got candy on the brain from all that sugar I ate. **

**Please review anyway. Or….hang on. (thinks of another meaningless threat) **

**If you don't, may the Force throw peas at you and bring you agony in the form of large fanged muskrats and carnivorous green eggplants. Now we wouldn't want that to happen, would we? **


	7. Emus Aren't Native To Naboo

Dear Readers,

Ooohh…this feels so formal. Ahem. Anyhoo…

I'm finally back!

I missed you guys so much! It feels SO great to be here! I hope I didn't lose too many of you wonderful reviewers during my absence, I'm truly honored that you guys even choose to READ my story, but to REVIEW it? hugs for everyone

This chapter took forever to write, and I do apologize. Not only was it extremely long and even more random, Darth School decided to hit me smack in the face. Now that I have defeated that little bugger, I'm sure that that extremely long recess can be easily avoided. Hello summer! (collective sigh of all students) This was mean to be a long term effort, but not that long term!

_A special thanks goes out to the ever-lovable Knittin Kittens. You guys rock my world!_

If this chapter is the craziest yet, please don't be alarmed.

May the force be with you,

Arie

Note: If you don't understand the "Luke's face joke" in the chappie, it's a play on words. :) I know, you prolly think I'm weird. You're prolly right.

**Extremely Important Note: Some characters featured in my story may be either dead or whatever else in the canon. Relax, it's AU.**

Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars, my cat Padme would rule Naboo. LOL. Just kidding, I loooove Padme just the way she is. (Meaning the cat and the character) But I must continue my attempt at a creative disclaimer…seeing as Natalie Portman is Padme, kitty must stick to being Queen Padme Amidala of My House.

**But before that, I realized I must give credit to the song, "Vacation" by Vitamin C. Here's a tribute!**

Come on, come on, come on  
Let's go!  
Come on, come on  
Let's go!  
Come on, come on, come on  
Let's go!  
Come on, come on

Let's go!  
Vacation  
Need a little sun to break up all the frustration  
And turn it into love  
Ain't nobody gonna tell us what we gonna do  
Because today, it's up to you  
Temptation comin' up to me  
A little relaxation and I'll be great to be  
Come on and weeky weeky loo at the  
It's gonna start now  
Kick it back , kick it back, kick it back to the track  
Kick it back, kick it back, kick it back to the max  
_Chorus_  
Vacation's where I wanna be  
Party on the beach where the fun is free  
We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate  
'Cause I need a break, I need a vacation  
Vibrations  
Need to get me some and drive out all my complications  
And turn them into love  
Ain't nobody gonna tell us where we gonna be  
Because today, today it's you and me  
Vacation's what I wanna do  
Party on the beach, fun for me and you  
We don't need a holiday, it's time to celebrate  
Repeat after me, "I need a vacation."  
Let's go!  
Let's go!  
Let's go!  
Let's go!  
I wanna be where the fun is free

So come with me  
_Chorus_  
'Cause I need a break, I need a vacation  
_Chorus_  
Repeat after me, "I need a vacation."  
(I need a) Vacation  
(Come on and) Vacation  
(I need a) Vacation  
(Come on) Vacation  
Let's go

_Chorus_  
'Cause I need a break, I need a vacation  
_Chorus_

**Meanwhile, back to the story….**

**Chapter 7**

The bus stop that Padme led them to was full of people when they got there. Padme held Luke's hand and pulled him to a bench. Leia sat atop Anakin's shoulders, gazing in awe at the magnificent city around her. Next to Anakin's foot, Yoda pouted, for he never had gotten his ride on Anakin's head.

"Thought, I did, that me, you loved, Anakin." Yoda sighed.

Anakin looked down. "I would love you a lot more if you trimmed your nails."

"Luke!" Yoda called. "A mission, I have for you, after the tour."

Luke's eyes lit up, as his attention switched from whatever he had been discussing with his mother, to the elderly Jedi Master.

"A Jedi mission? I finally get to begin my training?"

"Force no!" Yoda exclaimed. "Not ready are you."

_Luke's face fell._ Padme screamed. "Luke!" She reached down toward the pavement, and picked up her son's visage. "How many times have I told you not to drop your face? What if you lost it?"

"Then the galaxy would be rid of one of its most hideous features," Leia murmured, her eyes still on her surroundings. Anakin smirked. That Leia had a mouth on her.

"Leia..." Padme said. "Apologize to your brother."

"Sorry, Luke." Leia replied brusquely.

Yoda cleared his throat. "Anyways…..Luke, hope I do, that your nail clippers, you brought."

Luke smiled triumphantly. "No I must have forgotten them."

Yoda scowled. "Thanks lot, bantha breath."

Padme interrupted them. "Guys, please get along. I hope you don't act like this in front of my family later."

Yoda smiled at her innocently. "I'll be good."

Padme sighed. "Of course you will, Yoda."

Obi-Wan, who had been sitting silently on the bench, suddenly said, "Hey! Didn't we just see them?"

He pointed at two figures. Jansen and Lora.

Obi-Wan twiddled his thumbs nervously. "Jansen is stalking me…"

"What are they doing here?" Padme wondered aloud.

"Hey!" Lora yelled. "Jansen! Lookit! I know them from somewhere…"

Jansen smiled lovingly at her. "Because honey, they were just in the shop."

"Oh. Well hooooooowdy!" Lora said happily.

"Hang on…." Luke said slowly. "You live here. Why are you taking a tour of your own city?"

"And why do you have a bowl of mashed potatoes?" Leia asked.

"None of anyone's business but mine." Lora said, shielding the bowl protectively.

Jansen sighed. "Lora… they have a point."

"Jansen, you need to learn to live a little." Lora snapped.

"The sooner the bus comes, the better…" Padme murmured.

Soon, someone else approached the bus stop, and in her arms was a fuzzy little tabby cat.

Leia cooed, "Aww…what a cute little kitty."

The girl holding the cat looked up at Leia. "This is my cat, Tabby. You can pet her."

Anakin put Leia down so she could pet the cat. Leia introduced herself. "I'm Leia. I think your cat is very nice."

"Nice to meet you Leia, I'm Tabby."

Luke, who had a hand on the cat's head now quipped, "But I thought the cat's name was Tabby."

"It is."

"And your name is Tabby too?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Just because."

"But why? That's not an answer."

Tabby (the girl)'s mouth twisted into a frown. "You're killing me with questions."

Lora piped up suddenly. "I had a friend that was killed by questions. It was horrible."

That earned her several funny looks. Jansen looked uncomfortable.

Leia shook her head in confusion, but dropped the subject. "Where are you from, Tabby?"

Tabby grinned. "I live in a pyramid."

"A pyramid?" Luke asked.

"Yeah, kid. A pyramid. Don't you know what that is?"

"Well yeah!"

Padme spoke up. "Tabby, where is your pyramid?"

Tabby smiled. "Here. Egypt is way too sandy for me. And hot."

Padme gave her a confused look. "Ummm….."

Anakin grumbled. "I hate sand..."

"Did you build it?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Yeah, it only took me….five minutes."

"Huh?" Luke said loudly. "That's impossible."

"Nothing's impossible." Lora corrected him.

Tabby grinned. "My pyramid is really cool, and I sleep in a sarcophagus."

"Is your pyramid made of sand?" Leia asked.

"No."

"What then?"

"Cat litter."

There was an awkward silence.

Padme finally spoke up. "Well, that must be….ummmm...convienent for your cat."

Obi-Wan eyed his watch. "The bus better hurry up."

Anakin sighed. "There you go again with the impatience."

Obi-Wan scowled. "Whatever, Anakin."

"Find something to do, Obi-Wan."

Suddenly, Obi-Wan brightened, pulling his camera from his pocket. "Hey guys, stand together so I can get your picture."

The Skywalker family and Yoda (frowning) posed.

"All right…" Obi-wan said, "Say smile!"

Anakin cocked an eyebrow. "Ummmm….smile?"

Obi-Wan stamped his foot. "You know what I meant."

After the _click_ of Obi-Wan's camera, a big blue bus pulled around the corner, coming to a shaky stop in front of the growing group of people.

The doors opened, and out stepped a girl in jeans and a T-shirt, smiling brightly.

"Hello beautiful people!" she called. "I will be your tour guide today!" she began handing out name stickers and permanent markers.

She started to hand a marker to Yoda, but Anakin intercepted it. "Bad idea." Anakin said, taking the marker.

The tour guide shrugged.

Leia took the name sticker and wrote _LEIA_ in pretty letters. She then looked up at the guide's tag.

"Ummmmm…..miss?" she asked.

"Yes, darling?" the guide answered.

"Well….ummm…I was wondering….your name tag says…it says.."

"It says 'Hello, my name is Allyse and I am a vacuum.'" Allyse said matter-of-factly.

"A vacuum?" Anakin asked. "What the S…

Obi-Wan yelled, "….Sifo-Dyaz!"

Then he turned to Anakin. "This story is rated K+ for a reason, Anakin. We need to stop cussing so much."

"Huh?" Anakin asked, confused. "But Obi-Wan it's not even…"

"Never mind, Ani." Padme said coolly. "Let's just get on the bus."

So, the group began climbing the stairs when they stopped, catching sight of their driver.

She sat, knitting, with her feet on the steering wheel, listening to rap music.

When she saw them, she jumped and took off her headphones.

"Hi!" she said rather loudly. "I'm Sera, and I'm your bus driver today!"

Anakin sighed. "Oh dear."

Sera jumped. "Deer? Where?"

Padme groaned. "There are wayyy too many deer references in this story."

Leia found a seat next to Tabby. (both Tabbys, actually) and sat down. Luke sat next to…umm….someone. Anakin, Padme and Obi-Wan took a large seat nearby. The group saw many other people around them that they didn't know. And the characters that they don't know are always the wackos. Or were they the wackos themselves?

"My baloney has an infinite number of names…." Sera sang absent-mindedly.

"We are so dead." Anakin said, watching their…um….. wonderful bus driver. Heh heh.

Obi-Wan yelled up and Sera. "Hey, do you even have a license?"

Sera sent him a glare. "'Course I do…" she began digging around in her seat. "Ummm…..let's see…. it's here somewhere….hmmmm….." Her eyes lit up as she pulled something from the cushion.

"Here it is!" she called triumphantly, holding it up in the air.

Anakin look up at it.

A Snickers wrapper.

"Ah, yes. That's veeerrrry reassuring." Anakin mumbled. Padme looked a little nervous.

"Perhaps this is the wrong tour company…" she made a move to dig through her purse to check.

Allyse got a megaphone out and yelled loudly, "Hello, everyone! Before we begin, I'd like to request that you keep all arms, legs, heads, tails and other bodily appendages inside the bus at all times."

Padme's eyes widened. "This definitely can't be right…"

"And if you are wondering whether this is the correct tour, it _is._"

Padme frowned. "Yeah…right."

Allyse noticed Padme rooting around in her purse and announced, "Well, we'd like to get moving as soon as possible…" She cued Sera and Sera floored it.

The bus had no seatbelts.

Which resulted in everyone holding on for dear life to any object or person nearby.

Padme clawed at Anakin's shoulder, while Yoda nearly pulled Anakin's hair out, being that he had snuck up there. There really was no stopping Yoda.

Padme screamed in surprise. Leia gripped the windowsill, and Luke grabbed the girl next to him.

The girl yelled, "Don't touch me you dirty sicko!"

Obi-Wan meanwhile, seemed to be lost in thought and found his face colliding painfully with the seat in front of him. He shook his head, and continued to ponder. He felt something oddly familiar on this bus…

Back to Luke…

Luke jumped, "I'm….sorry. I didn't mean…"

He stopped.

"What are you staring at?" she snapped. She turned away, her bright red hair whipping her cheek.

Luke felt stupid all of a sudden. ( I wonder why… whoops! Sorry Luke fans!) "I'm really sorry, it's just…the bus….I was going to fall."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

Luke found the words blurting from his mouth. "What's…what's your name?"

She raised her eyebrows. "Why should I tell you?"

Luke felt his cheeks flush. "I…um…well…I'm Luke. Sk…Skywalker."

Her eyes widened. "You're the Chancellor's son," she murmured, glancing at Padme.

"Yeah." Luke said.

She sighed. "I'm Mara Jade."

"Mara Jade…"

"I just moved here with my parents."

"Really? Cool…Mara."

Meanwhile, the bus was speeding along down the road, Sera still singing.

Allyse called out again, into her megaphone. "Okay. Everyone's attention, please? A few more guidelines: No chewing gum. It gets stuck on the carpet, even I have trouble getting it out. Which reminds me, don't worry about your trash, just throw it on the floor, I'll get it later."

Yoda raised his little green hand from atop Anakin's head. "Excuse me, but against my dear mother's teachings, that goes!"

Sera yelled, "Your mother aint here, sweetheart! And I want no, absolutely no objections to what Allyse says, ya hear? That means no backtalk, no sassy little attitudes, and no contradictin' her. She and I are in charge now, ya hear? We like y'alls mamas now!"

Luke dared to ask, "But my mom's here!" And he pointed at Padme.

Sera scowled at him in the rearview mirror. "Sonny, I suggest that you shut that little mouth of yours. And that goes for all of yeh! I gotta job ta do and I aint gonna drive too well if ya don't shut yer yaps!"

She wasn't a good river in the first place so the prospect petrified the passengers.

And they all shut their yaps for several minutes straight.

Then Padme whispered to Anakin. "Ani…I don't like this."

Obi-Wan broke out of his strange reverie to say, "You're the one who wanted to go on this stupid thing. I would've been perfectly happy staying at the hotel eating corndogs and watching Discovery Channel."

Padme frowned. "At least no one's recognized me, there must be too many people here."

It was at that moment that Mara Jade decided to yell, "The Chancellor's actually HERE?"

Padme hid her face behind Anakin.

Allyse appeared excited. "Wow, Chancellor. We are honored that you have chosen Naboo Tour Company. Is there anything else we can do to make your time with us more worthwhile?"

Anakin said through his teeth, "I can think of a few things…"

Padme elbowed him. "We're great, thanks."

Allyse went back to the front of the bus.

"Chancellor?" a soft voice said, and then it got a little louder. "Stars, it's actually you! I don't believe it! Padme! Anakin!" And the speaker looked around again. "And…Obi-Wan…"

Obi-Wan's face seemed to explode with happiness. "Siri! I…I thought I recognized your Force signature."

Siri beamed. "Really? It's so wonderful to see you, it's been years!"

"Too long, indeed." Padme added, and gave Siri a small hug.

"Here, you can sit here." Leia said, offering Siri her seat next to Tabby, who was cattycorner to Obi-Wan. Siri smiled.

"Thanks, honey." And Leia went to go sit somewhere else.

As Siri sat, she sighed. "I've missed you guys, but I've been on some long Temple missions lately. Most recently, Ord Cestus, Corellia, Alderann…. But I finally got some time off and Naboo is a great place for a break."

"What a coincidence that we chose the exact same time for a vacation." Padme said thoughtfully. "I guess I can thank Anakin for that. But it really it so great to see you, Siri."

Siri grinned again, and Obi-Wan felt his heart thump harder. "Yes. You said you could thank Anakin?"

Anakin laughed as Padme explained. "This whole thing was Anakin's idea. At first it was only us, then the kids and Obi-Wan, plus Yoda…"

"Kids?" Siri said, perplexed. "Oh my, Padme, Anakin…. You had kids and you didn't tell me?"

Padme bit her lip. "Well, we couldn't go public about them until we were sure it was safe…and then you had already left for…Mimban, I think."

Siri squealed in delight. "Oh, Force. That was your daughter, wasn't it? The one who gave me her seat?"

Anakin nodded, and Siri beamed again. "She looks like her parents…but you said…_kids?_"

"There's our son, Luke." Padme pointed.

Siri nodded. "Wow. Twins."

Padme moaned. "I know. You are saying wow. Anakin and I are saying Oh Sith," she teased.

Siri laughed. "I bet they're a handful." She shook her head in wonder.

She turned to Obi-Wan. "And you… I've missed you so much."

"The feeling is mutual." Obi-Wan croaked weakly.

Suddenly, Allyse announced, "We're back, people! On your left, you'll see Betty's Burgers, the greatest burger shop in the galaxy."

"That depends on who you're talking to." Padme muttered. "They make their burgers from acklay meat."

"Really?" Obi-wan asked.

"I wouldn't put it past them."

Allyse continued, "And on your right, you'll see…. a large pyramid made completely of cat litter."

"That's my house!" Tabby said shrilly. Of course, I mean Tabby the girl, not the cat.

No one said a word. I don't exactly blame them, do you?

Siri chattered quietly with Obi-Wan, who had a grin stretching nearly ear to ear.

Next to Mara, Luke found himself shaking, and wasn't sure why. I guess falling deeply in love with their first crush is a trait of Skywalker men…

Luke stammered. "Mara…I…ummmm….where's your house? Your new one, I mean."

Mara scowled. "It's here downtown. My parents thought a tour would be the best way for me to get acquainted with the town."

"Oh." Luke said quietly. "I'm from Coruscant."

"I know."

Luke's face reddened.

Leia had wandered around looking for an empty seat. The only extra was next to a teenage girl with an MP3 player blaring in her ears.

Leia sat down, and was promptly startled to see a large lumpy piece of fur sitting across from her.

"Rrrwwaar…" it murmured.

"Don't be afraid of him. He don't bite. Well, not really."

The soft voice filled Leia's ears. She turned to the other seat, seeing a young boy with wavy brown hair and a mischievous grin.

"I…wasn't afraid. What...ummm…what is he?" Leia asked.

The boy's grin widened. "A Wookiee. His name's Chewbacca, but friends call him Chewie."

"Oh. He looks a lot like a walking carpet to me." Leia said decidedly.

"I'm Han Solo." He introduced.

"I'm Lissy Solo." The older girl added. "We're from Corellia."

Leia smiled graciously. "Nice to meet you, Han, Lissy. I'm Leia Skywalker, from Coruscant."

"Skywalker?" Han said, bewildered. "You're the Chancellor's daughter."

Leia sighed. "Yes."

Lissy took her MP3 out of her ears. "And Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker, right?"

Leia nodded the affirmative.

"I keep on thinking his name is Adrian." Lissy mused.

"Adrian Skywalker?" Leia laughed. "I'll be sure to tell him that one."

Han asked suddenly. "How old are you?"

Leia answered. "I'm 4. My twin brother and I just turned 4."

Han puffed out his chest. "I'm 10, and my big sis here is already 14!"

Leia smiled. "Cool."

Chewbacca mewled sadly.

Han whispered. "We don't talk about Chewie's age."

Let's check back in on someone else shall we?

"So you like it that they've changed the code?" Siri said animatedly. "Me too! Those rules were way too rigid. I mean, we ARE humans."

Obi-Wan nodded slowly, smiling at Siri.

She continued. "I mean, love is unavoidable sometimes. It just slaps you in the face, and you can't escape it. It's like a rush of emotions, and you can't possibly sort it all out and flush it away. You know what I mean?"

"Yes…I know _exactly_ what you mean"

Padme's eyes twinkled in excitement as she gazed out the window. "This tour isn't bad, Ani. We just needed to give it time."

"Yeah." Anakin replied. "And now we actually can see some scenery instead of some stupid restaurant."

Padme turned around grinning. "Oh, Ani. For once, everything turned out perfect."

Anakin showed his agreement with a kiss to Padme's forehead. (Come on, we're in need of a little romance. They hadn't kissed before this!)

Padme sighed blissfully. "This vacation was a wonderful idea."

Anakin rested his chin on top of her head as she leaned toward the window. "It's so…beautiful."

"Yes, _you _are." Anakin laughed.

Padme laughed too, and the couple spent a few seconds enjoying this idyllic moment.

Before CHAOS erupted.

The bus screeched loudly as Sera became alert and aware. She screamed frantically, the bus spinning out of control.

"AHHHHHHHHH! EMUS! EMUS!"

Allyse continued announced sights, as if nothing was happening. " And in front of the bus, you will see a large pack of emus crossing the road."

"OOHHH! OH SOMEONE HELP! THE EMUS! THEY'VE COME FOR ME!" Sera shrieked.

And the bus careened forward, twisting and rolling in all directions, finally beginning a last swirl before…

"That's funny…emus aren't native to Naboo." Padme said thoughtfully.

"Padme!" Anakin yelled, and he grabbed her just as the bus collided with a large…GNOME!

Siri's body was launched from her seat and she landed…

Smack dab on top of…Obi-Wan.

"Obi-Wan!" she said, her cheeks flushing. "I'm so sorry!"

Obi-wan smiled up at her. "Don't be…"

Sera yelled deliriously. "Lora! Your gnome's escaped. Hurry, put it back in your yard!"

Lora looked around frantically. She looked like she hadn't even noticed that the bus had stopped.

Padme looked panicky from within Anakin's arms. "Anakin! The kids!"

"I'm okay mom!" Luke called, he was just sitting, looking a little frazzled.

"Leia?" Padme called, her maternal instincts kicking in fast.

"I'm here!" Leia yelled. She and Han had taken cover beneath Chewbacca's hairy…. girth.

Padme hugged Anakin. "Thank the Force."

Sera tried desperately to restart the bus. "Come on, on."

"Hang on, folks! We're having technical difficulties!" Allyse called.

"No Sith!" someone bellowed.

Padme rushed over and pulled her children to her. "We are getting OFF this bus NOW!"

Obi-Wan sighed and let Siri get off. "Okay…."

The entire troop trudged off the bus.

Wait, not the entire troop.

"Oh, Sith." Anakin said. "Where in the name of the Force is Yoda?"

He was answered with a triumphant screech from the top of the bus. Yoda had stationed himself up there, and now stood toward the front dancing happily. Behind him, a huge skid mark stretched to the rear of the bus.

"RIGHTEOUS, THAT WAS!" he shouted.

Anakin rolled his eyes. "Come on, Yoda."

Yoda performed a happy little force leap, landing on top of Anakin's head. Anakin scowled.

Padme breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad everyone's okay."

Yoda tossed a Kit Kat wrapper on the ground and replied. "Never has my butt felt so…revitalized!"

Padme scolded. "Pick that up."

Yoda began to reach for it, but a loud, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" was heard as Allyse did a slow-motion style leap toward it. She landed directly above it and opened her mouth.

She made a sound like a very loud suction cup, and the wrapper flew up into her mouth. Then she smiled.

"Yum."

Obi-Wan stared. "Ummmm….wow."

Everyone else was fleeing the bus as well, and Siri ran up to them, her face looking bright and cheerful.

"Hey guys! You mind if I crash with you for the afternoon? I have nothing else to do."

"Of course not" Obi-Wan said for them. "You're always welcome with us."

Siri beamed. "Thanks."

Han and Chewie emerged, looking flustered. Lissy followed behind, persistently asking her brother if he had any broken bones.

"I'm fine, Lissy!" Han insisted.

"Okay..." Lissy said. Lissy was quite the parent toward Han. Lissy and Han's parents had trusted her to watch her brother while they went around Theed for business purposes.

"Han!" Leia called. "Mommy, Daddy, this is my new friend Han, and that's Chewie, and Han's sister Lissy."

"Hello." Anakin and Padme said simultaneously.

Leia looked up at them, her puppy dog eyes appearing. "Can they come over for awhile before we leave?"

Padme looked thoughtful. "Well… we go to Sola's later, but okay."

Han whooped happily. "Cool!"

Lissy grinned. "Okay, sure!" I mean, come on, she gets to hang with the Chancellor, _Anakin_, Obi, Siri, Yoda, the whole gang!

Mara walked over to Luke. "It was nice meeting you, Luke."

Luke felt his cheeks go red again as he replied, "You…you too, Mara."

Padme's face swelled with happiness that her children were making friends. "Luke, invite you new friend over too, it's only fair!"

"Okay…"

Yoda whined from…atop Anakin's head. You know what? You guys can assume he's up there unless I say otherwise.

"But…I wanna invite a…friend over."

"Friend?" Anakin smirked. "You mean _girlfriend?_"

"Thanks." Yoda whispered as all eyes riveted on him.

"I….umm….have some explaining I do." he started. "Wanted to look good, I did because Yaddle, stationed, she is on Naboo for security, and…"

"He has a GYNORMOUS crush on her." Anakin finished for him.

"Basically." Yoda said lamely.

"Aww….." Padme said, "That's so cute! Call her, ask her if she wants to come with us to Sola's. You can too, Siri."

"SHE CAN?" Obi-Wan yelled. "I mean…ahem."

"Thanks, Padme. I'd love to meet your family." She cooed. And then she began talking animatedly with the kids.

Yoda pulled out his comlink. "Nervous, I am…"

He fiddled with it for a second then waited.

"Yaddle? Ummm….hello. Yoda, this is. Come and…ummm…_hang_…with me do you want?"

He paused. "No…no, no….I'm sure you look lovely…Yes, old I am, too, or forgotten have you?"

Another pause. "Think so, I don't….ah, yes, Yaddle, but want you to come _I_ do."

A pause, and then he clicked off the comlink. "Yes, she said!"

"Cool beans." Padme answered. "Is that all?"

"WOOOOHOOO! PARTY IN THE SKYWALKERS' ROOM!" Obi-Wan yelled.

"Calm down, Obi-Wan." Padme chided, as they all began walking toward the nearest bus stop.

"PARTY?" a bunch of people screamed. Lora, Jansen Tabby, Allyse, and Sera (who failed to restart the bus and called a tow truck) all came running.

"You guys can come too!" Obi-Wan yelled.

"Great…" Anakin said sarcastically, eyeing their growing group. "We might as well invite the whole hotel too!"

"Way ahead of _you,_ Anakin." Obi-Wan said with a grin, "As _always_."

Anakin just stared in horror. _What had just happened?_

**So today was my last day of school and I managed to pull together the entire chapter. I think I deserve a little reward for finally updating. You know what would be really nice? A review…**

**That may not have been the BEST chapter yet, but it was necessary.**

**Notes:**

**Did you guys notice all the LOVE in this chapter! (smiley faces) If you didn't you weren't paying attention. Obi's new interest SIRI!**

**I hope you all loved it! The next chapter is…the small "get-together" in the hotel room, and the dinner at Sola's house.**

**Plans for the future?**

**A theme park, beach visit, THE LAKE HOUSE AT VARYKINO, a hike, and more!**

**So stay tuned!**

**AND REVIEW….**

**Or I'll send that pack of emus after YOU! dun dun DUN!**


	8. The Worst 2 Liters Can Do

I am amazed and honored at the feedback I receive. Thank you all so much, for you guys inspire me to write more. (sniffles) You are all so wonderful! GROUP HUG!

Special thanks to Mini Trish and Miss Nonniya, whose comments inspired me to write more and nearly made me cry.

I'm such a sap. :)

I began working on Chapter 8 early out of inspiration and upon request from a reader.

**Keffygirl:** This is for you! I hope this can cheer you up and all that. Laugh well and laugh hard. Please. My heart is with you.

Well, moving onward, I'm delighted that I'm able to update this fic more often due to the end of school. It's great, but keep in mind, this fic is more long-term than my others. My others get updated a lot more often than this, but never fear, this one won't fall behind too much, I have WAAYYYY too much fun writing it. LOL.

Thanks to all and may the Force be with you,

Arie the Awestruck

**I meant to post this in honor of Natalie Portman's birthday, but I couldn't get it posted fast enough. Happy Birthday to Padme! **

**And congratulations to Hayden Christensen on his win of the "Golden Popcorn" for "Best Villain" as Vader. HE SOOOO EARNED IT!**

**What about EWAN! (sobs)**

_**WARNING: Disturbing images of karaoke singing may be provoked from this chapter. Use extreme caution. And don't DON'T DON'T tell me that you HATE this song and HATE that song, because I don't care, it's for the humor of it folks! Thanks!**_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars or any songs mentioned. I'm no where close to being that successful!**

ARIE OUT.

**Chapter 8**

"CHUG! CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!" the shouts echoed through the room as Obi-Wan gulped down the entire 2 liter of 7UP.

Anakin rolled his eyes. _How do I get myself into these situations?_

Behind him, a hand brushed his shoulder and kissed his cheek. He smiled at his wife.

"Having any fun yet, Ani?" Padme asked tentatively.

"Not really," Anakin mused, gazing at the crowd filling the hotel room.

"Perhaps you'll find some later," Padme said thoughtfully, then she sighed. "I hafta go get more soda." And she disappeared to the kitchenette.

Han whooped and hollered. "I win! WOOHOO! I am the bomb! You know it!" He had just beaten some guy at sabacc.

Leia rolled her eyes. _What an ego. Boys are sooo arrogant._

Han came up behind her and grabbed her sides suddenly, and Leia collapsed into a fit of laughter. "Stop it! Stop it! That tickles! AAAAH!"

Finally Han stopped and grinned. "Sorry, I couldn't resist. You are so much fun to tease, Princess."

"Princess?" Leia asked quizzically.

"Yeah. Aint that what your daddy calls you?"

"Ummmm yeah."

"A fitting nickname indeed. I mean, you're mom's the Chancellor and was a Queen once, don't that mean you're a Princess?"

"No, not really."

Han shrugged. "Wanna play Sith vs. Jedi with Luke and Mara?"

Leia smiled. "Of course."

And the kids ran off to go to the courtyard,

_That clears out the room a little, _Anakin thought.

"Hey, Anny-Kin!" Obi-Wan teased. "You aren't claustrophobic, are you?"

Anakin shook his head in amazement. "Well, no. But I'll tell you right now, I'm very afraid of you at this point."

"What can I say, I'm a scary guy." Obi-Wan shrugged.

"That you are."

"It's only pop, Anakin…" Obi-Wan chided gently.

Anakin blinked. "Only pop?"

"Yeah…what's the worst it can DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWHOA!" Obi-Wan yelled as a loud belch disfigured his sentence.

"Hmmm. That is." Anakin pointed out.

"At least it didn't come out the other end."

"Eww!" Padme exclaimed as she came up beside Anakin. "What is that smell?"

Anakin laughed. "That would be Kenobi, here."

Padme frowned. "Gross."

Yoda, in the restroom, smoothed a hand over his hair and murmured, _Do this, you can, Yoda. Do this, you can._

Yoda practiced a toothy grin in the mirror and sighed. _Do this I can't._

Dejectedly, he left the restroom, to find Yaddle standing outside, waiting for him.

Yoda's jaw dropped.

"Beautiful, you look." He blurted.

Yaddle blushed. "Suck-up, you are, Yoda."

Yoda grinned. "But a liar, I am not."

Yaddle took his hand and yanked him out in the middle of the room, where the music was blaring. "Still the party animal I once knew, are you?"

Yoda paused, contemplating. "Try my best, I do, my dear."

And the two began to dance.

"Ooooh! I love this song!" Siri cried out. She jumped onto the sofa and proceeded to jump up and down, singing.

"Don't cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me, Don't cha wish your girlfriend was a freak like me!..."

Obi-Wan stared, his mouth agape.

A voice next to him, so full of amusement, asked, "Why don't you jump up there with her?"

He turned to Anakin, aghast. "Why would I do that?"

Anakin gave him a wink. "Why wouldn't you? I mean, you just chugged a 7UP, there isn't any more damage you could possibly do to your reputation."

Obi-Wan scoffed, "Because Anakin, you know I can't sing."

Anakin laughed at the lame excuse. "Just get up there."

Obi-Wan decided to drop the bomb. "If you think it's such a good idea, then why don't you?"

Anakin paused a moment. He thought for a second then turned to his former Master.

"Whatever you say." And a Force-leap carried him over to the sofa, where Siri was.

Obi-Wan's mouth formed an 0 shape that could probably fit the Death Star inside.

A new song began, and this time, Anakin and Siri sang.

Padme came out of the kitchenette and doubled over in laughter, dropping the soda on the floor.

"She says she's no good with words but I'm worse. Barely stuttered out, "A joke of a romantic," stuck to my tongue. Weighed down with words too over-dramatic.

Tonight it's "It can't get much worse" vs. "No one should ever feel like..." I'm two quarters and a heart down. And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds. These words are all I have so I'll write them. So you need them just to get by!"

Obi-Wan shook his head at his friends. "Wow. I didn't see that one coming."

_Especially since Anakin wasn't half-bad at singing._

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Well, that's something you don't see every day."

Padme had recovered and began clapping excitedly as the song went on. Her cheeks were flushed pink and her grin was big and wide.

"Dance, Dance. We're falling apart to half time. Dance, Dance. And these are the lives you'd love to lead…."

When the song ended, applause erupted through the room and Anakin and Siri bowed humbly. Anakin jumped down and took Padme in his arms and spun her around as the next song began.

Siri shook her head fericously, her hair swinging back and forth in and angry whip-like fashion. Obi-wan found himself tapping his foot as Siri began to sing.

"…A few times I've been around that track. So it's not just gonna happen like that. Cause I ain't no hollaback girl. I ain't no hollaback girl…"

_Anakin and Padme look so happy, _Obi-Wan thought, a euphoria rising in his chest.

Siri sang, and Obi-Wan found himself staring.

When Siri was done, Chewbacca edged up on the couch and roared. He then began to dance.

This excited the crowd, and they cheered.

Lora sauntered over to Obi-Wan, looking tired from dancing.

"Hello."

"Hi." Obi-Wan answered.

Lora looked around, as if making sure none one else was around and then, she whispered, "So, I hear you don't like horses."

Obi-Wan wrinkled his nose. "Not at all."

Lora smiled a little. "me neither. They make me go: Ka-choo! Ka-choo!"

"Ummm…..you're allergic?"

"Yeah, whatever."

Obi-Wan sighed. "What's your point?"

Lora pulled a business card from her pocket. "If you're interested, call me and I'll send you a member ship kit." And she walked away.

Obi-Wan looked down at the card:

_Lora_

_Founder and President of Humans against Horses_

_A Club for Horse Free Fun_

_Call: 555- 9876_

Obi-Wan stowed it into his utility belt with a shrug.

Meanwhile…

Anakin and Padme were out of breath. They collapsed onto an armchair laughing.

Padme looked around with shining eyes, "Wow. What a turnout. I don't even know half these people."

"Look even Gira showed up." Anakin pointed. Padme giggled.

"Ummmm…..excuse me, Miss Chancellor, ma'am?"

Padme turned. "Yes?"

"I was just wondering…do you think I'm a coward? I mean, _how am I a coward?_ Just because I don't like dancing?"

Padme looked confused. The man, obviously distraught, turned to Anakin.

"What do you think?"

Anakin replied. "Yes, I think you are a coward."

The man spluttered, "But I….I…I'm not…"

"Are."

His shoulders slumped. "I was just asking."

He began to walk away, but Padme stopped him. "Sir? What's your name?"

"I'm in the room next to yours. And I'm Jack. Jack Schmitt."

"Oh. Nice meeting you, Jack."

"You too, Chancellor. You look gorgeous today."

Anakin's eyebrows shot up and he sent Jack a death stare. "One more remark like that, and you sure won't look gorgeous when I'm through with you, punk."

"But I…" And Jack gave up and walked away.

Padme turned to Anakin. "It was just a compliment."

Anakin shook his head. "I don't like the looks of that guy."

Padme sighed. "Anakin, it doesn't matter what other men think about me. You are the only man for my heart."

Anakin laughed. "Forget it, Angel. Let's go dance."

"Of course, Master Skywalker."

Back in ObiWorld…whoa.

Obi-Wan watched Siri climb down from the couch, and approached her slowly.

"Hey, Siri."

She sipped a punch and her eyes lit up. "Obi-Wan! Hey! Doesn't this party totally rock?"

"Uhhhhh…..yeah…home dog." Obi-Wan replied.

Siri giggled.

"Ummmm. I was….ummm…"

Siri looked at him questioningly.

Obi-Wan felt like an idiot.

Siri smiled. "Dance with me, Kenobi."

Obi-Wan felt like his heart had traded places with his stomach. "I…ummm…okay."

And Siri grabbed his arms and pulled him into the crowd.

Just as Yoda and Yaddle began bouncing on the couch. Now, keep in mind that they are tiny and don't weigh that much. So, they went HIGH.

Yaddle ended up on the chandelier seconda later, and Yoda went crashing toward the snack table.

Luke had come in from the courtyard for a treat. He caught sight of Lora's mashed potatoes and grinned, sticking a finger into the bowl…

"Hey, get yo' hands out my taters!" Lora yelled menacingly.

Luke scowled. "Okay…"

And then, Yoda landed on the table.

Soda splashed all over Jack, who looked outraged. He said a few colorful choice words and stomped out.

The macaroni salad managed to stay put, but Lora's potatoes…

Flew toward Luke…

And smashed right onto his face.

Luke's face, plastered in mashed potato, had an angry scowl on it.

Meanwhile, Jack had marched out the door and a girl in all black slammed it behind him. "And stay out!"

Yoda, looking regretful, hopped onto Luke and began licking his face.

Luke protested. "Ewwww…."

The girl who had slammed the door dusted her hands off in a satisfied manner and went back to the partying.

Anakin and Padme, having witnessed this little incident, had decided to ignore it, and let it slide. I mean, come on, they're a little bit used to that kind of stuff by now.

Obi-Wan and Siri danced, Obi-wan twirling her around, and she smiled. "You're pretty good, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan knew his cheeks were bright red. "Really?"

"Mmmm hmmm."

Leia and Han had come in looking for Luke.

"Hey Luke!" Han yelled. "Time's a wastin! Mara's getting frustrated with you!"

Leia stared in shock at her brother. "Ummmm….wow."

Han looked at Leia. "You said it, Princess."

A slow song began playing, and Leia and Han got bored of waiting and ran back outside. Luke ran to the restroom to wash his face.

Yoda found Yaddle, who was laughing hysterically.

"What, good potatoes, those were."

Lora yelled, "Thanks, little green dude!"

Yoda smiled, before Yaddle's voice snapped him back to attention. "Had this much fun, I have not, in a long time."

Yoda took a deep breath. Then he said the words that you will most likely remember (at least I hope) at the end of this chapter.

"Yaddle, ignored it for too long, I have. First, forced by the Code, I was, then by my own hesitance. But Yaddle, ignore it I cannot, anymore. Feel, I do like only 100 I am when around you, I am. Yaddle…love you, I will forever."

Yaddle's eyes filled with tears. "Yoda….I…"

Yoda embraced Yaddle, and she melted into his little chubby green arms.

When their cute (yet sort of weird to write about) hug broke, Yaddle smiled through her tears. "Feel I do the same way…but…so old we are. What if too late it is?"

Anakin nudged Padme and Padme looked at the tiny green couple. Padme ran over to the stereo, and found her favorite CD.

Yoda smiled wisely, and the music began to play.

"I thought love was only true in fairy tales…meant for someone else, but not for me…Love was out to get to me…that's the way it seems…disappointment haunted

all my dreams…And then I saw her face…Now I'm a believer!"

"Yaddle," Yoda said happily, and spun her around. "567 is only a number."

Yaddle burst into uncontrollable laughter, and Yoda smirked.

Padme cheered gleefully and leaped into Anakin's arms. Obi-Wan and Siri continued, their dancing becoming more and more relaxed and carefree.

By the door, Sera stood talking with the girl in all black.

"I just love happy endings, don't you, Em?"

The girl, named Em, smirked. "Yes, I suppose."

Obi-Wan broke off from Siri for a second and yelled. "Don't get to comfortable with the fluff, ladies! This is a humor story!"

And with that, Obi-Wan jumped onto the couch and flipped the song. He looked directly at Siri, then caught Anakin's curious gaze. Then he began to sing…

"First I was afraid, I was petrified…kept thinking I could never live without you by my side but I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong, I grew strong, I learned how to carry on and so you're back…from outer space, I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face…I should have changed my stupid lock

I should have made you leave your key, If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me…Go on now go walk out the door, just turn around now 'cause you're not welcome anymore, weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye you think I'd crumble you think I'd lay down and die, Oh no, not I! I will survive! As long as I know how to love, I know I will stay alive, I've got all my life to live…I've got all my love to give and I'll survive…I will survive!"

Padme burst out laughing and muffled her laughter in Anakin's shoulder.

Anakin muttered, "This family…I swear, I'm surprised you all haven't driven me to the Dark Side yet! This insanity! It's relentless!"

Yoda planted a smmoch on Yaddle's face and Yaddle giggled.

Luke, who had decided to stay inside with the other kids made a face, but then asked, "So, Yoda… you did want to get a girl."

Yoda grimaced. " Let me live this down, he will not."

Luke smiled. "Aren't you a little too old for Yaddle?"

Yoda just pinned Luke with a toothy grin and turned to Yaddle. "You know what, say, they do? The older the fiddle, the sweeter the tune!"

And Yoda brought Yaddle back into the rhythm, swinging his little hips. (WHOA!)

Siri smiled up at Obi-Wan and Obi-Wan smiled back, letting the music flow through him. Anakin and Padme were in each other's arms, dancing to Obi-Wan's song.

Obi-Wan smiled, and jumped off the couch, waving his arms around and shaking his hair much like Siri had done earlier.

And Obi-wan landed directly on top of Anakin.

Padme yelped in surprise and leapt back as Obi-Wan crashed down atop Anakin.

"Where have I seen this one before?" Anakin asked no one in particular in a tired voice.

Obi-Wan flashed his former padawan a grin. "You were wrong Anakin. _This_ is the worst 2 liters of pop can do!"

And then, Obi-Wan jumped up and began to run in circles around the room.

"SUGAR HIGH! SUGAR HIGH! SUGAR HIGH!"

Anakin got up off the floor and dusted off his cloak with a sigh.

Padme cuddled into his shoulder. "Anakin…?"

"Don't ask."

Padme smiled into the fabric. "Why can't we have a normal family?"

Anakin gave his wife one of his Lopsided Anakin Smiles™ and replied. "Because Padme, look at us. Are _we _even normal?"

Padme kissed her husband whispered. "No. But don't tell the kids I said that."

**Okie doke. Well, a shorter chapter, but hey, the party had to die down sometime. Next: Dinner at Sola's. Disastrous results guaranteed. Hope to see you there!**

REVIEW!

Please.

Review or… may the Force cause massive onions and mammoth-sized can-openers to rain down from the clouds over your residence, leaving dents the size of minivans on all your beloved possessions, and result in catastrophic giant naked GNOMES running through your local park and throwing pickles at the old ladies in the grocery store.

If any of that applies, that is. :)

In other words, review and I'll send you virtual cookies. LOL.

Until next time,

Arie the HYPER!


	9. A Lovely Dinner and Dance

Hey there! Sorry I didn't post this earlier, but my document manager was being stupid again, so I couldn't post anything. This gave me a lot of time to write for my stories. Plus, I've been working hard on "A Father's Love."

I also started a new story that may take me awhile to get to called "Rust."

BTW, I plan on finishing "A Father's Love" very soon!

According to my outline, this particular story should end up with about 18 chapters, but I'm not sure, because that's a lot!

I have a sequel planned, but first I will be writing a prequel! I'm not quite so sure what the prequel's title will be, but it will be ROTS timeframe. I've already begun planning it! And I don't believe in spoilers, so that's all I'm telling you for now. (Mischievous grin) Feel free to beg for info though, so I can cackle evilly and tell you NO! You'll just have to wait and see. But I'll say one thing...

Suggestions are welcomed!

_Before you begin reading, I'd like to publicly thank Mini Trish. Thanks for your continuous support and for offering me some great stuff! Kudos and credit to you for this chapter! I'm dedicating it to you!_

May the Force be with you,

Arie

**I am aware that in the canon, both Yaddle and Siri would be dead. But Anakin would also be encased in a black respirator suit, Padmé would be dead, and Obi-Wan would be stuck in a hole on Tatooine. This is AU. Don't freak. **

**Chapter 9**

"Lalalalalalala! Lalalalalala! LAAAAALALLLALAAA!" Obi-Wan sang loudly.

Anakin felt like banging his head against the steering yoke. "Obi-Wan...please..."

"Sing louder? Okie dokie, artichokey!" Obi-Wan yelled. "LALALALALALALAA! LALALALALALALALALALALA!"

Anakin sighed and looked at the chronometer. To his relief, he found that they would be arriving at Sola's house very soon.

Padmé was fast asleep next to him, leaving Anakin in awe. She had slept through at least half the ride. The woman deserved a medal!

Obi-Wan stopped singing suddenly as Yoda demanded that Anakin turn on the radio so he would have to listen to him.

"You...you...don't like my singing voice?" Obi-Wan said, almost tearfully.

"Hey, here's a bright idea, Uncle Obi." Luke said. "SHUT UP!"

Obi-Wan looked hurt. "Fine. Nobody loves me...nobody ever loved me..."

Leia turned around. "I love you."

"Aww. Thanks Leia. I love you too."

Anakin called out. "The only reason she loves you is because she is wearing her headphones."

Obi-Wan pouted. "Prove it."

Anakin didn't feel like wasting his breath.

Siri shouted. "I agree with Yoda. How about some tunes?"

Anakin took a glance at Padmé, just as she was waking up. "Well, Angel. Yet again, you've done the impossible."

Padmé smiled sleepily. "I was just really tired. All that dancing wore me out."

"Anakin, turn on the radio already and open the blasted sunroof. It's hot as crap in here!"

Padmé turned around. "Listen up, Jedi boy. No more language like that. There are children here."

"I know that, Padmé, geesh." Obi-Wan scowled.

"Well then please, set an example!"

"He is. A bad one." Siri said with a smile.

"Too true." Anakin said and flipped on the radio. A song began to play.

"Yeah!" Obi-Wan yelled and began to dance in his seat.

Leia took off her headphones and grinned, as Luke reached for his coloring book.

Yoda looked anxious. "Ummmm...Anakin?"

"Yes, Yoda?"

"A question, can I ask you?"

"Don't ask if you can ride on top of my head while I fly, because the answer is NO."

"A good idea, that is, but not what I wanted to ask."

Next to him, Yaddle sipped a...Diet Coke.

"What is it, Yoda?" Anakin asked, somewhat impatiently.

"A restroom, I need. My little green bladder..."

Anakin grimaced. "Okay Yoda. I'll pull over at the next stop."

Obi-Wan continued to boogie gleefully in his place. Siri laughed heartily at his antics.

"Bighead!" Luke grumbled.

Padmé sighed. "Maybe I should have stayed asleep."

A new song began to play.

Padmé sighed aloud. "Oh Force, Obi-Wan if you..."

Too late. Obi-Wan sang happily. "Oh baby when you talk like that...

You make a woman go mad...So be wise and keep on...Reading the signs of my body!"

"Oh dear." Leia said.

Padmé waited for the writer of this story to put in some lame deer joke.

It never came. The writer lost her train of thought and decided to continue on...

Obi-Wan continued. "I'm on tonight...and I have truthful hips, and I'm starting to feel its right..."

Anakin groaned. "Obi-Wan, it's 'Hips Don't Lie'"

Obi-Wan stopped singing, looking indignant. "Well you would know, Anakin. I saw you doing the Shakira dance that one time...you thought no one was looking...but you can't deny it, I SAW YOU!"

Anakin looked confused. "Ummm..."

Obi-Wan turned to Siri. "You see that? He's all bewildered that I caught him!"

Siri rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Obi."

Padmé, meanwhile, had to cover her mouth with her hand as she imagined what Anakin belly dancing like Shakira would look like.

"Obi-Wan...me, you might have seen." Yoda confessed. Yaddle burst into a fit of laughter.

Obi-Wan huffed. "Yeah, I definitely could have mistaken YOU for ANAKIN. You two look SO MUCH ALIKE!"

Anakin turned into the rest stop. "Everyone who is getting out...GO!" He was starting to get a headache again.

Yoda, Yaddle, Padmé, and Siri all got out.

The kids, Anakin, and Obi-Wan remained.

Leia scrambled into Padmé's empty seat next to Anakin. "Hey Daddy...can you teach me to drive?"

Anakin smiled. "You'll have to wait until you are a little older, Princess. But it's pretty simple with this model. You see these two pedals? This one is stop, this one is go."

"Luke moaned. "I thought you just said you weren't going to teach her!"

Anakin decided to take this opportunity to tease his kids. "Well, I'm sorry Luke, but I've changed my mind. I can't help it, Leia's just so cute and irresistible."

Luke scowled. "Leia gets to do everything!"

Anakin shook his head. "Luke, Luke, Luke...how many times must your mother and I say this? We love Leia more."

Leia grinned enthusiastically. "Daddy! Luke doesn't care! He knows you're teasing! So show me!"

Luke added, "Yes. I don't care. Everyone knows that girls can't drive."

Leia stuck out her tongue at him. "Yeah right."

Anakin indicated a small switch. "This one controls your pitch, Leia and you use the yoke here to steer. The stop pedal is your brake and this one is the forward thruster."

Leia looked confused. "Which pedal is which again?"

Anakin pointed at them and said their uses. "Stop. Go. Stop. Go..."

Luke meanwhile decided to give his father the greatest payback his four year old mind could think of. He reached up and began bunny-earring Anakin.

"...Stop. Go. Stop!" Anakin said firmly and turned to Luke. Leia began giggling.

"Luke..." Anakin began. Luke grinned naughtily and Anakin was reminded sickeningly of Padmé during one of her reckless streaks.

"I give up!" Anakin slumped into his seat. Leia smiled at Luke. "Geez, Luke."

Luke replied. "Geez, Leia."

"Shut up!"

"You!"

"I said first!"

"Oh yeah...well...SO WHAT?"

Obi-Wan finally spoke. "KIDS! Both of you shut up please or Uncle Obi's going take a beating to both of you!"

"If anyone takes a beating on the kids, it's me." Anakin said, rubbing his forehead again.

Obi-Wan shrugged. "Fair enough. As long as I get to take care of them."

He pointed at a family of Gungans that were rapidly approaching their ship.

Anakin groaned stridently. "Just when I thought I couldn't be more annoyed..."

Obi-Wan opened a bag and rooted around inside for the Gungan repellant. He found it, shook it up, and placed his finger on the nozzle. "Here goes nothing."

The oldest Gungan tapped on the outside of the ship. Anakin reluctantly opened the cockpit.

"Helwo! Mesa Captain Tacos and deesa me twin kids, Albert and Arthur. Or maybe hesa Arthur and hesa Albert. My forgotten. Anyway, mesa wonderin if yousa know where da big Boss Nass is havin da big Gungan reunion. Wesa lost and can't finda our way dere."

Anakin stared at them. "And why would we know where is was? Do we look like Gungans to you_sa?_"

Captain Tacos (A.N: I thought Captain Tarpals was Captain Tacos when I first watched TPM.) looked thoughtful. "Well, no not realwee. Dat one dere look a little bit like us doe."

He pointed at Luke. Luke scoffed. "I'm not a Gungan! YOU ARE!"

"Figure that out yourself did you?" Leia asked, with that reflective Anakin roguish grin.

Luke's face reddened.

"Great comeback, genius." Obi-Wan said and casually reached over and pointed the bottle in Captain Tacos' face. "You wanna piece of this, Gungy-boy? Huh?"

He looked terrified and ran away, clutching his twins in each arm.

"Yeah, that's right you better run! Nobody messes with the Obster Kenobster!"

Anakin sighed. "Thank you, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan bowed a little. "Your welcome, oh great Chosen One."

Anakin raised an eyebrow. Then he laughed. "Okay, Negotiator. You negotiated your way out of yet another predicament. Aggressively, I must say."

Leia's eyes brightened. "He went into aggressive negotiations!"

Anakin looked at her curiously. "Who told you about that?"

"Mom."

"Padmé..."

Padmé and others arrived back just in time. Turns out, Yoda had used some spare change to go and buy some more Diet Coke.

Yoda strapped himself into his baby car seat. "Man...refreshing, that was. About to blow up, I was."

"That would have been...messy." Padmé said, leaning into her chair. "So what did we miss? Anything?"

"The usual." Anakin said dryly.

Padmé didn't need to ask. Everyone buckled in and Anakin powered up the ship. Leia, now back in her seat, began playing The Flick Luke and Make Him Mad Game™

Obi-Wan began to sing along to the music as it wafted back into everyone's ears. "If I was a rich girl, nanananananananananananananaNA!"

"Force help us," Anakin said softly.

Padmé smiled at him. "If I remember correctly, Anakin, you used to act the same way. My husband used to be very much like Obi-Wan is now. Whatever happened to that Anakin?"

"He died. Died after severe exposure to irritating instances, random situations, and a Master who seemed to lose his Jedi calm right after I was put on the Council. Either that or he went insane and caught a brutal case of Toxic Idiocy Syndrome and fell into a black hole."

Padmé raised her eyebrows. "Did you just make all that up?"

Anakin nodded.

Padmé sighed and absently twirled one of her fingers upon Anakin's shoulder. "I sometimes miss that Anakin. Will he ever be resurrected?"

"Only time will tell, Angel. But a serious upheaval in my life would have to occur for me to end up..." Anakin paused and pointed at the singing Obi-Wan. "...like _that _again."

Padmé knew there was a real reason for the loss of Anakin's crazy streak behind the imaginative explanation he had given her, but sighed and didn't question him further.

Obi-Wan continued gleefully as Padmé flipped to a new song. "Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby? You said you'd be coming back this way aaggggaaaiiin..."

"For a guy who said he can't sing, he's singing a lot." Luke remarked, slapping Leia's hand away.

Padme grinned at her son. "It's not so much that he cannot sing, Luke. It's that he cannot sing well."

"I heard that!" Obi-Wan yelled between verses.

Everyone had to laugh.

--------------------

A half hour later, Anakin landed the ship in front of Padmé's sister Sola's house.

Sola came running out to greet her sister, pulling her into a warm hug.

"Padmé! It's so wonderful to see you!" she said.

Padmé's face was shining. "You too, Sola. I've missed you so much."

Anakin busied himself with giving the kids...and the adults that accompanied them, and instruction about manners. It would be a true miracle if it made any difference.

Sola's husband Darred and her daughters Ryoo and Pooja soon joined in the circle around Padmé, and her parents, Jobal and Ruwee came out as well, ecstatic to see their daughter.

Anakin and the gang walked over to join the group. Darred and Anakin shook hands and exchanged brotherly pats on the shoulder, Jobal began planting rosy lipstick kisses upon Luke's face and Ruwee squatted down next to Leia, engaging his granddaughter in conversation.

After all the greetings, Ryoo and Pooja took Luke and Leia out into the garden to play, while the adults headed inside.

Obi-Wan and Anakin walked slowly behind the group, planning...something. Those two...always up to something...

Sola whispered into Padmé's ear. "So...little sis, how's Anakin?"

"What do you mean?"

"How is he? And the twins? Is Anakin treating you well?" Sola asked persistently. Padmé recoiled in mock alarm.

"Sola! He's a wonderful husband, and that should be enough to please you!" And then she laughed despite her attempt at appearing offended.

Sola laughed too. "Only the best for my sister. I was only teasing. Anakin is perfect for you, Padmé, it's obvious." She grinned playfully. "Not to mention, he's like chocolate for the eyes."

"Excuse me, Sola." Padmé said, trying to suppress her laughter. "But I believe Darred would be hurt if he heard you say that."

"Oh, my Darred doesn't mind. I sometimes point out random guys and call them hot, it makes him irresistibly jealous. He's adorable when he's jealous. But then, I just kiss him and reassure him that I'll be always with him. He knows he's the only man for me. He's my one and only."

Padmé smiled. "That's really nice, Sola, teasing your husband."

"Oh, like you don't take a couple shots at the Hero with No Fear sometimes?"

Padmé shook her head. "Of course I don't." They both knew she was lying. Padmé could recall many a time when she'd argued with Anakin just to see what he'd do. Both girls cracked up laughing.

Once inside, Jobal hurried over to a pot where vegetables were steaming. Anakin, Obi-Wan, Siri, Yaddle, Ruwee, Darred, and Yoda retreated to watch the holovision until dinner was served.

Padmé graciously offered to help her mother cook.

"Padmé dear, it's been so long. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Mom. A little tired, but I am the Chancellor, so I suppose that's appropriate."

Jobal's face crinkled into a smile. "And with those two little twins running around, I'm sure you and Anakin are quite occupied."

Padmé sighed. "Sometimes I wonder how I manage being the Chancellor, and Anakin manages all his work at the Temple, and how we manage the kids all at once, but I really do love Luke and Leia so much, now matter what trouble they get themselves into."

"You'd better get a cage for that Leia, or she'll run off and become Queen of Naboo soon like her mother."

Padmé shook her head. "I wouldn't let her. I know now that I was much too young. Plus, Leia wants to be a Senator and a Jedi. She's quite transfixed by both Anakin and I when we talk about our work."

Ruwee came in and kissed his daughter on the cheek.

Jobal turned to him. "What are you up to?"

"Getting drinks. Your one little green friend asked me to bring him the whole liter of Diet Coke..."

Padmé couldn't hold in her giggles. Soon, she was doubled over in laughter as her parents looked at her curiously.

----------------

A little while later, the family sat down for dinner. Padmé passed the amazing home-cooked Nubian cuisine around the table, and was sure to put extra veggies on her children's plates.

Luke scowled. "But Mom! I already told you I hate vegetables!"

Padmé gave him a stern Senator's look. "Luke Skywalker, you eat those vegetables or I will feed them to you with a baby spoon!"

Luke looked embarrassed and stared sadly at his plate.

Obi-Wan leaned over and whispered, "Hey...psst! Luke, if you want to look like me, eat your vegetables."

Luke looked horrified.

Padmé tapped her fork against her plate impatiently. "Luke..."

Luke protested. "But I don't want a beard!"

Padmé looked confused while Obi-Wan looked offended. "What's wrong with my beard? It's lovely, I'll have you know."

Luke smiled maliciously and began to stick his vegetables in Yoda's ears, atop his head and down his pants. Yoda looked excited.

"Wow! This is what I call celebrity treatment! Usually, have to put, I would my own vegetables in my pants!"

Padmé was aghast. Her family stared, appalled at the behavior.

Padmé's face turned bright red. "Luke, eat your veggies right NOW!"

Luke shrugged. "Why?"

"Because I said so and I'm your mother."

Anakin was trying so hard not to laugh.

Luke frowned. "But WHY?"

Padmé looked at Anakin for help. Anakin pulled together a straight face and said, "Luke, I am your father. Listen to me and eat those vegetables or you'll never become a big strong Jedi such as myself."

Obi-Wan scoffed. "You mean like me!"

Anakin looked him squarely in the eye. "No. Not like you."

Siri had fallen out of her chair laughing, and Yaddle was gazing at Yoda oddly.

Padmé looked very very very embarrassed.

Finally, Luke looked at Yoda and said, "Well, hey. I suppose if I get muscles, they can't be too bad." Then, he whisked a finger into, Yoda's ear. "Bottoms up!" And he ate it.

"Bottoms?" said a veggie-stained Yoda, and he reached for his waistband. "My bottom?"

Anakin stood up and yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Padmé took a time out from being mortified and glanced at Anakin. Did a little of the old Anakin just seep through? But as soon as the silliness had came, it was gone.

Anakin glared at Yoda until Yoda sat back down.

Padmé's mom looked like she was going to faint. Sola looked kind of worried. Ruwee looked...like a train wreck. And Pooja and Ryoo were laughing into their sleeves.

Leia sat, silently eating her dinner and ignoring the rest of the family's antics.

Obi-Wan, in a bout of random hilarity reached over for a taste from inside Yoda's ear.

"Mmmm...tastes like...cherry pie. No...chicken. Or...applesauce?"

"They're vegetables for Force's sake!" Padmé yelled. She was absolutely beside herself and for one of the first times in her life; Padmé had no idea what to do.

It only got worse. Suddenly Leia stood up. Her eyes gleamed with a sudden object mischief and she picked up her plate and hurled it at Luke. It hit him smack in the face; food began dripping down his cheeks and into his eyes.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Yaddle declared, and tossed a piece of cake at Yoda. Yoda retaliated with...a spurt of Diet Coke.

Soon, the dining room had erupted into complete chaos, Padmé standing in the middle of it all.

Anakin laughed as a bunch of fruit just missed him. He threw an entire bowl of soup at Obi-wan in defense, and Obi-wan spluttered as the contents spilled all over him.

"ANAKIN!" Padmé yelled. "A little help?"

Anakin grabbed her and pulled her aside. "What, Angel?"

"What? What? WHAT! You have got to be joking, Anakin Skywalker."

Anakin gazed at the disarray. "Well what am I supposed to do?"

Padmé eyed him coldly. "Aggressive negotiations or you will find yourself in a world of pain, my dear."

Anakin saluted her. "Righto. And by the way, why did you tell Leia about that?"

Padmé sighed. "Can it wait, Master Jedi?"

Anakin shook his head. "Of course." And he stepped right into the pandemonium.

He ignited his lightsaber and said. "Okay. Everyone freeze."

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at him.

He jumped on top of the now soiled table. "Look what you've done, people. Or are you not people anymore, but a pack of wild animals? Padmé over here wants a nice relaxing break from work and to see her parents, and you just pile on to her stress with a childish food fight!"

"But we're children, we act childish!" Luke objected.

"Yeah, just like you're Anakin so you act Anakin-ish!" Obi-Wan shouted.

Anakin's face hardened. "You know what? You've really put it into perspective for me."

"Really?" Obi-Wan asked.

"No." Anakin said firmly. "My wife over here does not deserve this kind of behavior. She works hard, very hard, and this is the last thing she needs. It's humiliating! You all should be ashamed!"

Luke looked sorry all of a sudden. "We are. Sorry Mom."

Obi-Wan looked at his boots. "I suppose Anakin's right after all, Padmé doesn't deserve this kind of thing. It was heartless and cruel of us."

Anakin softened a little. "See Padmé, I knew they hadn't lost it completely."

Obi-Wan and the others suddenly picked up any random food item they could find and the naughty smiles returned. Luke looked at his father and laughed.

Anakin's eyes widened. "Uh-oh."

Obi-Wan shouted, "We may not think Padmé deserves such treatment, but you are another story, Anakin."

"Time to take Anakin to the cleaners." Siri yelled, and tossed mashed potatoes into his face.

Padmé muttered, "We will be making a trip to the cleaners indeed."

The others all threw things at Anakin until he was completely soiled.

He wiped potatoes from his eyes and fixed an eerily evil glare upon everyone. "You all are going to wish you hadn't done that." he hissed.

He peered around the room for a long moment, and then burst out laughing. "Oh Force, you should've seen the looks on your faces! It was like I'd turned into a Sith right before your eyes!"

He then began scooping food off his clothing and laughing as he threw it back at them.

The ruckus continued.

Then Yoda slipped on a pile of pudding and accidentally sent an entire apple pie into Jobal's face. Everyone froze.

Jobal laughed out loud and licked pie from her lips. "Wow, Sola! This pie is awesome!"

With that, everyone continued the flinging of food items. Even Ruwee and Sola joined in.

Padmé sighed. "What a lovely dinner!" And she ran right into the midst of the flying food, chucking a dish of chopped pineapple at Anakin.

Anakin laughed as it slopped down his shoulder, then evened the score with some chocolate pudding.

It landed with a splat right on Padmé's face and she froze.

Anakin came over, breathless. "I'll get that milady."

And he began passionately kissing Padmé in the middle of the food fight, eating the pudding right off her face.

"That's just wrong." Obi-Wan said aloud, and tossed a salad into Siri. "I would never do that."

"Me neither." Siri answered.

"But dop you know what I would do?" Obi-Wan asked her.

"What?"

"This!" and he hurled a Jell-O at Siri. It splattered all over her.

"Oh what the heck?" Obi-Wan said and pounced on Siri, kissing Jell-O off of her face.

Siri pushed him away for a second. "But I thought you said..."

"That was because of the pudding. I prefer Jell-O anyway, fortunately for you."

Siri laughed.

-------------

Some time later, the food fight was finished, and the dining room was sparkling clean. The kids and Padmé's parents were in bed, and Yoda and Yaddle had retreated to the garden for a stroll.

Everyone had taken turns in the refreshers, taking good long showers.

Now, the house was almost silent, as Sola, Darred, Anakin, Padmé, Obi-Wan, and Siri enjoyed an evening on the patio, gazing at the stars.

A soft romantic tune floated through the air as Padmé snuggled into Anakin's arms.

Darred broke the silence. "Man, you guys sure know how to throw a party."

Padmé laughed. "Well, I'm just glad we didn't ruin the house."

Sola grinned. "Don't worry about a thing. You sure showed us a great time."

She got up and retrieved a bottle of blossom wine from a cabinet and poured glasses for everyone.

Sola and Darred got up and began dancing to the lulling sounds of the night and the music filling the air.

Siri and Obi-Wan followed suit.

Siri blushed as Obi-wan sent her a joyous smile, spinning her around. "You are a wonderful dancer, Tachi."

Siri replied. "Not as great as you, Obi."

Obi-Wan tried to reply, but all that came forth was a rather loud belch.

"Whoa! Excuse me, Siri!"

She giggled and came closer, grasping Obi-Wan's hands in hers. "Better out then in."

And she began to softly burp her ABCs.

The two chuckled softly as the song played on.

Anakin rose, and offered Padmé his arm. "May I have this dance, milady?"

Padmé finished her glass and smiled pleasantly at her husband. "Maybe."

Anakin eyed her. "Maybe? What's holding you back, darling?"

"Well, I am quite used to dancing in an extravagant gown, rather than my nightdress."

Anakin shook his head. "No matter, Angel. You look ravishing."

Padmé looked out at the night sky and shivered. "It's also getting chilly."

Anakin took her in his arms and twirled her. "Dancing will warm you up."

She stopped the spin and stood straight, looking him in the eye. "There is one more thing, Ani."

He rolled his eyes. "Talk about high-maintenance. What are you worried about now, love?"

Padmé gave him one of her most impish smile and asked. "Do you really dance like Shakira?"

Anakin's eyes widened, and he looked like he was going to get defensive, but then he laughed loudly. "Why, my dear Padmé, why would you ask such a question? Surely you didn't _believe _what Obi-Wan told you earlier?"

Padmé giggled. "Better safe than sorry, Ani."

Anakin smiled. "The answer to your question is no." Then he got a playful grin on his face and teased, "Would you like me to?"

"Force, Ani. No."

"And why not?"

"Because. It would be very amusing, but I...I couldn't possibly keep up."

Anakin looked at her strangely, and she cracked up laughing. He followed suit, and the laughing couple joined the others and danced until their feet ached.

**There it is folks. What did you think?**

**I'm not telling what happens next, a surprise perhaps?**

**Oh, and the whole business about Anakin being like Obi-Wan may come into play later on. I assure you, it's a serious matter.**

**Why did comedian Anakin die? (begins sobbing)**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed that last bit. Just to clarify, Anakin does NOT dance like Shakira.**

**Anakin: Thanks, Arie. Imagine what would happen if the Holonet got a hold of that rumor.**

**Well, at least he doesn't in public.**

**Anakin: HEY!**

**Snicker, snicker.**

**Well, please review. Oh man, I need a threat.**

**Review or else I'll send a Palpatine look alike to follow you around in public to tap you on the shoulder, laugh girlishly in your face (NO LISTERINE FOR HIM, BTW.) Large talking mules will also come flying out of your computer and begin eating your clothes. Then, Yoda will come in and use hedge clippers to cut off everyone living in the residences' hair and also to create a replica of himself with a bush that he will plant next to your bed. Heh heh heh. Even the greatest Yoda fan may not enjoy the other parts of the threat.**

**MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!**

**To bad it's meaningless.**

**The more reviews I get, the faster I update, okie dokie?**

**Alrighty then. Press the little submit review button and that will be all.**

**Thanks!**

Before I finally cease my relentless storm of typing, I'd like to thank Mini Trish again and also all my other loyal reviewers!(including those adorable Knittin Kittens! even those who don't read it! I love you!) I couldn't have possibly made it this far without you! We finally hit 100! And as promised...hugs, root beer and nacho chips for all! (ummm...virtually?)

Toodles!


	10. Misadventures in Darth Mall & Upheaval

Hey guys! I'm in one of those humor moods, so I came to this story.

If you guys like this story and you actually find me humorous (I am honored if that's the case) I urge you to give my one-shot titled "I Know!" a try!

Wow. I'm looking at the review count for this and I'm like, WHOA! THANK YOU SO MUCH!

You guys rock. Without question.

Well, without further ado, I believe Padmé, Anakin, and the gang have a few more days left in the capital, before they head onward to Varykino!

**Chapter 10**

Padmé awoke to find Anakin already gone. She sighed, and wondered how late she'd slept in. With a glance at the chrono, she sighed again, grabbed a dress, and hurried to the refresher.

Anakin smiledsleepily as he watched Luke and Leia chat animatedly while eating strawberry flavored Pop-Tarts. "Now, let's try to keep the food on the plates this time, you two, okay?"

"Okay..." Luke and Leia said simultaneously, innocent smiles upon their faces.

Then, he watched them eat the Pop-Tarts. He had already eaten some, for Anakin loved Pop-Tarts. Loved tham so very much.

"Pop-Tarts...nothing but Pop-Tarts...gimme some Pop-Tarts...don't let them end!" he sang cheerfully.

Obi-Wan emerged, closely followed by Siri.

"I'm telling you, Obi-Wan, waffles are BETTER than pancakes. I mean, they have more texture and flavor..."

"Uh...WRONG! Pancakes taste so much better."

"They do not."

"Sure do!"

Anakin sighed. "Hey guys, just eat your breakfast, don't argue about it."

Siri nodded at Anakin. "'Morning, Anakin. Luke. Leia."

Leia looked up at Siri. "Aunt Siri, Luke says that my hair looks like cinnamon buns."

The children had already taken to calling Siri "Aunt Siri." This seemed to warm Siri's heart.

Luke picked up two premium cinnabuns and stuck them upon his ears, smiling happily. "LOOK! I'm LEIA! I wear BREAKFAST food because I think it's oh so STYLISH!"

Anakin laughed as Leia's eyes darkened. Again, everyone in the room was reminded of Anakin, including Anakin, which was a scary prospect.

Siri tried quickly to douse the flames. "Your hair is beautiful, Leia, sweetheart. It looks just like your mommy's."

Leia smiled amiably. "You really think so?"

Luke petted his head mildly. "Mine doesn't. But it's still purty."

Everyone chuckled a little. Obi-Wan, sure enough, grabbed a couple pancakes and Siri chose waffles. Siri reached for the maple syrup, among other things scattered around the table.

Sola came out of the kitchen. "Good morning, everyone! So, where are you all off to today? Mom and Dad have already left for the convention downtown... "

"I think Padmé's taking us to the Theed Grand Shopping Center." Anakin said calmly.

"Oh BOOO! I hate shopping!" was the reply that blurted from the mouths of Luke, Leia, Obi-wan and Siri at the same time.

"Like shopping, I do. Get nice things, I shall." Yoda said, jumping upon Anakin's head.

Anakin groaned loudly. "I think you may have actually broken skin that time, Yoda!"

"Quit your whining and pass me that box of Jansen's Donuts." Yoda said meekly.

Anakin sighed and relented, while Obi-Wan froze for a few seconds before continuing to scarf down his pancakes.

Padmé came out, a bright smile on her face, wearing a light blue simple dress with a curved neckline. She bent down and gave Anakin a kiss. "Good morning, all!"

"Ew! Get a room!" Obi-Wan muttered. Anakin cast him a look.

"Mommy, are we seriously going shopping today?" Luke asked her.

Padmé knew what was up. "There are toys, Luke."

"TOYS!" Luke and Leia danced in their seats.

Yoda booed. "You guys can't dance."

"Well, at least they don't dance like Shakira!" Obi-Wan pointed out.

Anakin frowned. "For the last time, I DO NOT dance like Shakira."

"In public." Arie said, magically coming into the story.

"WHO'RE YOU?" everyone asked.

"You didn't see anything." Arie replied mystically and vanished.

Padmé ignored this weird event and took a few waffles unto her plate. She started eating, happily chatting with everyone.

"These pancakes are great." Obi-Wan said, and Anakin nodded in agreement at Sola. Sola smiled her thanks.

Padmé and Siri looked thoughtful. "I don't know...I really do prefer waffles."

------

For some odd reason, Obi-Wan had taken them to the mall in the cruiser. Why in Sith's name did he want to drive? Who knows?

Obi-Wan happily pulled up into a parking spot. Padmé handed her children 10 republic credits each. Their faces lit up.

"YAY!" Leia said cheerily.

All fell silent.

"Well, let's go!" Padmé called from outside the cruiser.

Everyone tumbled out. Literally. And followed Padmé into the giant 34 story shopping mall. Anakin and Obi-Wan were awed at this colossal structure, being that all there was to it was stores, stores, and more stores.

Anakin looked up. "Obi-Wan, it's Darth Mall!"

Obi-Wan smiled naughtily. He ignited his lightsaber. "YOU KILLED QUI-GON!" And he began scraping against the wall of the building.

Siri took his hand and led him inside.

Once inside, Leia was excited to find Han and Lissy. "Mommy? Can I go with them?"

Padmé looked at Lissy. "Can you have her back here at the front entrance at five?"

Lissy nodded. "Of course, Chancellor." Then she started to walk away, but paused at Anakin.

"Adrian. No! Anakin...Anakin... gotta remember that..."

Anakin looked at her peculiarly.

Padmé turned to him. "Anakin. You and Obi-Wan will take Luke and Siri and I will go together."

Yoda and Yaddle walked away. "We're off!" Yaddle yelled.

"Dundundun! Dundundun! Dundundundundun!" Yoda yelled too.

"Be careful you two!" Padmé yelled three.

"Don't jump on anyone's head!" Siri yelled four.

"MY HEART RESTS ONLY WITH YADDLE AND ANAKIN'S WONDERFUL HEAD!" Yoda yelled FIVE!

Anakin turned to Luke. "Let's go, son." He didn't yell. Phew.

Everyone split into their different groups.

Anakin, Obi-Wan and Luke wandered around, searching for a shop to go into.

Obi-Wan paused, looking at the window display of a fancy store.

Anakin noticed Padmé inside, carrying a mound of dresses to the fitting rooms, and Siri shuffling through the racks, with a considerably smaller pile.

"Leave it to Padmé to find the elaborate dresses." he mumbled reflectively.

"Leave it to Padmé to get Siri addicted." Obi-Wan added.

"Leave it to Padmé..." Anakin started, but didn't finish.

"Wow." Obi-Wan said, pointing at a ruffled multi-colored skirt.

Anakin laughed. "What, are you gonna buy that?"

Obi-Wan laughed too. "No...I was just thinking..."

"How great you would look in it?"

Obi-Wan looked directly at Anakin. "Actually, I was thinking about how your hips wouldn't lie if you wore that, my friend."

Anakin slapped him. "Come on, let's move on."

------

Han and Leia scampered happily into a large store labeled Playthings-R-Our-Specialty.

Leia examined the dolls to see if there were any good ones.

Han meanwhile went straight for the squirt gun aisle. He gasped in awe at the beauty of the sight before his eyes. Lissy came up behind him.

"Which one do you want, Han?"

"ALL OF THEM!"

Lissy laughed and told him he had to pick one.

Han sighed.

Leia picked out a Jedi doll, but then her little brown eyes caught sight of something else and she decided against it. She wandered toward the aisle of action figures and fingered the little boxes in surprise.

She wanted them. They were funny.

Lissy called to her from the cash register and Han brandished his SUPERSOCKER (ummmm...I guess it shoots socks?) at her. (That was a typo; I sometimes don't bother to fix them, lol. They're funny that way!)

Leia grabbed three figures. Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Yoda. She was going to have some fun later... (usually Leia's maniacal laughter would be right about... here)

-------

Anakin and Obi-Wan wandered into a food court. Obi-Wan looked like a kid at Christmas.

"Now Obi-Wan don't get any ideas..."

He was already in line at a hot dog stand.

Anakin sighed.

Luke tugged on Anakin's sleeve. "Daddy? Can I get some ice cream?"

"Sure, Luke."

He pointed out the ice cream stand to Luke and handed him a few credits. Luke yelled in delight.

"I dream... you dream... we all dream about... HOT DOGS!" Obi-Wan yelled. (Yelling...again)

Obi-Wan came over, with 5 hot dogs. Anakin's eyes boggled.

"Whoa, Anakin! Check it out! Your eyes! They're boggling!"

"That's because I caught sight of those hot dogs in your hand!"

"Yeah, they look amazing, don't they?"

"That's not really what I meant. Are you planning on eating all of those?"

Obi-Wan nodded cheerily. Anakin shook his head in wonderment.

"What? I love me some hot doggies!" Obi-Wan said with a shrug.

"What a nut."

Anakin absently noticed Lissy, Han, and Leia sitting at a table eating.

Leia looked up. "Hey Daddy!"

"Hello, sweetheart."

Lissy smiled warmly at Anakin. "Hey, Master Skywalker. Ummm...Han and I were planning on leaving...so..."

"Say no more. Leia, you're coming with Daddy now."

"Okay. Daddy, can I go into Clara's later?" (Like Claire's)

"Sure, Princess."

Leia got up, bidding her friends farewell and grabbing her small bag from the toy store.

"What'd you get?" Anakin inquired.

"Sprinklins." Leia murmured, taking another spoonful of the delicious sprinkle-topped yogurt.

"I meant at the toy store, honey."

"Oh. It's a surprise."

"Cool. I can't wait."

Luke came over, licking the top of a vanilla cone. "Hey, brat." He greeted Leia.

"Snotnose."

"Dummy."

"Butthead."

"Idiotface."

"Kids!" Anakin scolded.

Leia pointed at Luke. "He started it!"

"Doesn't matter. You shouldn't call people names."

"But Mommy says intimidation by words can sometimes be key when trying to assert yourself among political rivals, and to speak up and undermine the opponent in verbal combat works to one's advantage by lessening their personal esteem and striking the point bluntly, sometimes bewildering them even to the point of submission. This helps you achieve your goal, Daddy. Basic psychology."

Anakin thought for a second that he was talking to Padmé. "Whoa. Okay, Princess. You're talking way too big for a four year old."

Obi-Wan swallowed and said. "That didn't make a lick of sense to me!"

"Let's go. Leia wants to go look at stuff. Luke, is there anywhere in particular that you wanna go?"

"I don't know."

"Well, let's get started. Obi-Wan?" Anakin inquired without turning around.

"Yes, Anakin?"

"Get your eyes off the pizza stand and let's go!"

"Okay..." Obi-Wan said in a whiny voice.

-----

Padmé and Siri, arms laden with bags from many different stores, chatted happily while sipping cappuccinos at Moondollars. (Wow...that's an interesting version on Starbucks!)

"And so then... he gave me this love letter... and it was the craziest stuff I'd ever read, but it was sweet all the same." Padmé said, laughing.

Siri smiled sincerely. "That's really nice, Padmé. I'm sure that Anakin has a way with words."

"A way with words? You don't even know, Siri. I about died laughing. He thought I was choking and kept on telling me to settle down."

Siri laughed.

"How's Obi-Wan?" Padmé asked with a knowing smile.

"What-what do you mean?" Siri asked, her cheeks turning red.

"C'mon, Siri. Don't you think I know? I see the way you look at him. It's that same look Anakin used to give me."

"What?"

"Your eyes betray you, Siri."

Siri sighed. "You got me."

"Have you made a move?"

"He's kissed me." Siri whispered.

"That's a step." Padmé said, tossing her empty cup into the garbage.

"I'm not sure if I should just tell him how I feel, Padmé. What should I do?"

Padmé put a hand on her friend's shoulder. "You'll know what to do when the time comes. And don't worry; I know Obi-Wan feels the same about you. He's crazy about you, Siri. It's obvious. And he's a sweet guy... beneath his... oddities."

Siri laughed. "That's an interesting way to put it."

Padmé giggled as well, and hissed conspiratorially, "He does have them. I think any guy does. Even any woman."

Siri grinned. "Well, his fear of horses is a little odd, but quite amusing all the same. I remember when he used to love horses."

"He did?" Padmé questioned, suddenly perplexed. "Wait... you know why he's afraid of them?"

"Yes... but I think he should be the one to tell, if he wants to."

"You're right. I'm just a little curious, that's all."

Siri laughed. "Nothing wrong with that. And I think you're right when you say that underneath Obi-Wan's...ummmm...strange habits... there's a really sweet guy, even though it's silly Obi-Wan that I fell in love with in the first place."

Padmé smiled. "I know I'm right. And believe it or not, Anakin used to have a lot of weird quirks as well. Much more than he shows now."

"I remember a slightly more carefree Anakin Skywalker, yes." Siri mused, "But was he ever as crazy as Obi?"

"Yes. Maybe crazier."

Siri laughed. "Wow. Then whatever happened?"

Padmé suddenly looked wistful. "That's what I'm trying to figure out... I mean, the change wasn't too sudden, but right about the time the twins were born, Anakin's outrageous little habits started fading away, and he became what he is now. I mean, sure, Ani has a sense of humor, but not like he used to."

"Surely he'll find a way back to those funny ways?"

"I hope so. Sometimes I hate to see him like this, it's not really him. Sometimes I wonder if something around that time affected him and took that outlandish Anakin I once knew away."

Siri patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, we'll find a way to bring him back."

Padmé grinned brightly. "Yes, I know."

"I'm actually quite curious to see what, as you put it, 'weird quirks' your husband has up his sleeve."

"More than you can imagine for him, Siri. That's for sure."

-------

Leia paused. "Let's go into Narn's and Boble!"

"A bookstore?" Luke asked. "Boring..."

Anakin hushed him. "Leia wants to look. Let's go in."

The group trooped in, looking around. Leia ran for the children's section, Luke in tow.

Obi-Wan scanned the shelves, letting his hand pull out the first book he could find.

"_The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_." Obi-Wan read. "Hey, Anakin! Check this out!"

Anakin glanced at the title. "That brings back a flood of memories, definitely."

Obi-Wan chuckled quietly. "Too bad it didn't take off like we thought."

"What didn't take off?" Leia asked, suddenly coming up behind them.

"Well, before you were born, your daddy and I tried to make a movie called _The Brotherhood of the Sojourning Boxers _but we kind of got bored of it and moved on to something else."

"Oh." Leia said. "Daddy, can I get this book?" She held up _Podracing: Outrageous Sporting in the Outer Rim. _Anakin nodded.

"Whatever you say."

Then, Leia suddenly got a naughty glint in her eye and said evilly, "Yes, Daddy, whatever I say, NOW GET ME COOKIES!" Then she cracked up.

Obi-wan dropped the book as Anakin replied. "Sure thing, Princess. We can stop at The Great Cookie Factory after this."

Leia sniggered, as Luke approached, carrying a book titled _Amazing Creatures of Naboo. _

The twins headed for the cash register, while Anakin and Obi-Wan continued to browse.

Anakin caught sight of a book and called, "Hey, Obi! Come look at this."

Obi-Wan took one glance at the book, titled _Black Beauty _and shuddered profoundly hiding behind Anakin as if to shield himself from the book. "Oh Force, and it's a black horse... those are the worst."

"Really? Why?"

"You don't wanna know, Anakin."

"Yes I do, or I wouldn't be asking."

Obi-Wan looked straight at him. "It's too horrible to speak of."

Anakin sighed. "Whatever you say."

"Yes, Anakin, whatever I say, now get me HOT DOGS!"

"You already had plenty, my old Master."

"Yes, I know. And watch who you're calling old, Mister!"

Anakin laughed as he gathered up the twins and headed out.

After a stop at the cookie place, Obi-Wan insisted upon visiting Auntie Emma's Gourmet Pretzels.

He bought himself a cinnamon pretzel and smiled happily. "Yum."

"Look, Daddy! It's Jansen and Lora!" Leia pointed. And sure enough, Jansen and Lora were walking away from the stand, murmuring to themselves.

"Hi Jansen! Hi Lora!" Luke yelled.

They looked up. "Oh hi." Lora said, with a shifty glance. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Eating pretzels, duh." Obi-Wan said, mouth full.

Jansen's eyes turned to Obi, who looked at his feet, suddenly quiet.

Anakin eyed the bundles in their arms. "What are you doing with all that cheese dip?"

Lora grinned wickedly and then shrugged, walking off.

"Sometimes I wonder about those two." Obi-Wan whispered, still munching.

"WELL HOOOOOWDDYYY!" a voice yelled. A security guard was waving at them. Anakin recognized her as their bus driver, Sera.

"Hello, Sera." Leia said politely as Sera ran over to greet them.

"Hullo, folks." She grinned.

"You're a security guard?" Obi-Wan questioned. "I thought you were a bus driver!"

"Oh...yeah... about that...I got fired."

"I wonder why." Anakin said, trying not to laugh.

--------

An hour later, Leia had been into Clara's, where she bought herself a tiny beaded bracelet of colors that reminded her of the waterfalls. Luke had bought a "I Went to Darth Mall and all I Got Was This Lousy Shirt" T-shirt, Obi-Wan bought a coffee mug that said, "You Suck, and I Rock." Anakin didn't buy a single thing.

They walked into a clothes store known as "Trend Bender" and began to look around.

Obi-Wan hastily grabbed some items and said, "Here, Anakin."

Anakin eyed the items. "A straw hat, a purple frilly shirt and a tutu?"

"Perfect for you!"

"Why you little..." Anakin said, putting the clothes down.

Obi-Wan, laughing uproariously, hastily grabbed some random clothes and made for the fitting room, to escape Anakin's wrath.

Anakin felt a tap on his shoulder. He turned, and nearly passed out in fear. He did scream. Rather loud. It kind of sounded like a dying animal because the fear morphed his scream as it escaped his system.

"Force...Luke, you're scaring me."

Luke was flaunting a big, sparkly, pink and gold satiny gown. "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Anakin took a deep, soothing breath. "Yes. Put it back."

Luke trudged away, causing Anakin to notice that he had slipped on platform shoes.

"May I help you, Sir?" a robotic voice asked.

Anakin turned again, but wasn't spooked, just surprised. "Threepio?"

"Master Ani!" the golden droid greeted. "I didn't know it was you!"

"You work at Trend Bender?" Anakin asked.

"Artoo and I do, yes. We're trying to raise money for the Podracing Fund on Tatooine. Supporting our Maker's former sport." Threepio stated proudly.

"Uh huh. And you're selling pods?"

"Buying, refurbishing, and reselling, Master Anakin." Threepio replied.

"That's good. Why don't you buy yourself a new face?"

"I beg your pardon?"

"HAHAHAHAHA! THAT WAS A GOOD ONE, ANAKIN!" Obi-Wan shouted from the dressing room.

Threepio sighed. "Sometimes I really don't understand human behavior. If you need anything, Master Ani, please don't hesitate to ask."

"Don't worry. Now GO AWAY. FAR AWAY. You're giving me a headache."

Threepio waddled off.

Leia came out of the dressing room wearing a little green skirt and a shirt with a butterfly on it. "Daddy, can I get this?"

Anakin smiled. "That looks very nice, Leia."

"Nice? You don't know the meaning of nice, Anakin." A voice said.

Anakin turned, to see a man with a gingery beard, clipped Coruscanti accent and a lime green fedora, hot pink sweat suit, and bright purple stockings.

Suddenly, Mace Windu popped out of nowhere and snatched the socks off his feet, laughing maniacally.

Anakin eyed the man before him.

"What? Don't I look gorgeous, dahling?"

Anakin suddenly said. "You're not Obi-Wan."

"Apparently you don't like it."

"NO. You are NOT Obi-Wan Kenobi."

"How...how did you know?" the imposter squeaked. "I mean, OF COURSE I'M OBI-WAN! HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME, PADAWAN?"

Anakin shook his head. "You are not Obi-Wan."

"Why?"

Anakin said simply. "Because, his accent is purer than yours..." Then he hoisted the man up and threw him over the railing and into the kiddies playground. "...AND HE DOESN'T SUCK AS MUCH AS YOU!"

"As much as you, Which implies that Obi-Wan sucks." Anakin added as a joking afterthought.

The man groaned as he crashed upon a kiddies slide, and it broke. "Owwwww..."

"Aww. Poor baby." Anakin said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "Want me to sing you a lullaby?"

The man just groaned again. "Ow. I think you broke something, you Jedi freak."

Anakin just smiled and stepped back toward the fitting room. "Good thing I have Anakin Family Insurance. Not to be confused with American Family Insurance."

Obi-Wan (the real one) emerged from the fitting room, then, clad in a sweater vest, overalls, a baseball cap, and bright red Converse high-tops.

Anakin surveyed him. "Cute, Obi-Wan."

"Really? I think it makes me look smart."

"No."

"OOOH! Well, do I look like a rapper?"

"Umm. No."

"Darn. That's too bad. I've got some good rhymes."

"You can't rap, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan frowned, then began to sing, "I'ma get get get it poppin..."

Anakin scowled. "Obi-Wan. Take it off. You look dumb."

Obi-Wan's brows knitted. "I hate you, Anakin. Naw, I don't hate you. I love you Anakin."

"Sweet." Anakin murmured, putting up the rock on sign with his mechanical hand. "Now take it off."

Obi-Wan sighed and went back to the dressing room.

Anakin yelled, "And don't get anymore ideas, Obi-Wan. Just wear your robes, otherwise you SCARE me."

Obi-Wan muttered something inaudible.

He came out a few minutes later, then tackled a surprised Anakin to the ground, beating him over the head with a large hunk of cheese...Monterey Jack, I believe, wasn't it, Obi-Wan?

"No, it's Cheddar." Obi-Wan corrected, still hitting him.

Anakin groaned.

Then he fell to the ground, still and silent.

"Uh oh." Obi-Wan said, and shook Anakin. "Anakin...Anakin!"

Then he smiled happily. "I killed him! I killed Anakin! HAHA! Take that, Anakin Skywalker! I AM BETTER THAN YOU!"

He danced in a little circle, and then pointed at him. "I killed you! I killed you! LALALALA! I killed you!" Then he paused, gazing at the still form. "Wait... I didn't mean to kill you! ANAKIN!"

Threepio waddled over and yelled. "What have you done to my Maker?"

Obi-Wan was distraught. "Maybe I should do mouth to mouth!"

"NO!" Padmé screamed, suddenly barging into the store. Siri was right behind her. "I want to!" Then she began to grasp the situation. "Oh Force, what happened?" she said, kneeling next to Anakin.

Obi-Wan hid the piece of cheese behind his back and started whistling innocently.

Anakin stirred, then lifted his head. "Well, that's a first..." he muttered, "Beat over the head with a piece of hard, stale, and quite smelly cheese..."

"I think he's delusional," Siri whispered.

Leia emerged form the aisle. "He's not. It's all true."

Anakin rubbed his head. "Thanks, _friend_." He looked at Obi-Wan.

All eyes were on him. He coughed awkwardly.

Then Yoda and Yaddle walked in, Yoda immediately taking in the situation and jumping gently onto Anakin's head. "Like a soothing balm, I shall be, Anakin. Tell Master Yoda where the pain is."

Anakin sighed loudly, and stood up slowly.

Luke and Leia both came over and looked up at him.

"Are you okay, Daddy?" Leia asked, concerned.

"Yes, I'm perfectly fine, Leia."

Padmé grabbed him worriedly. "Are you sure? Because I can take you to a med center..."

Anakin shook his head. "Padmé...it was a piece of rotten rock hard cheese. Nothing major."

"Monterey Jack?" Siri asked.

"NO CHEDDAR!" Obi-Wan fumed.

"That's gotta hurt." Siri cringed.

Padmé eyed Anakin suspiciously. "Well, if you're sure, I'd like to look around in here for awhile before we leave."

Anakin nodded hazily, trying to brush the cobwebs from his eyes.

"Ewwww...cobwebs!" Leia said. Then Padmé plucked them out with a grin. "It must've been a very old piece of cheese if it had cobwebs."

"Actually... the author wasn't being literal; she was using that to describe my clouded vision due to dizziness..." Anakin gave up and shrugged, as Padmé eyed some of the pretty purses.

Anakin blinked, and felt himself begin to sink to the floor. Well, not to, rather INTO.

Leia screamed. "AH! DADDY!"

Luke began to prance around in a funny little frightened dance. "OH MY FORCE! OH MY FORCE!"

"What?" Padmé asked, then she noticed Anakin was gone. "Where's your Daddy?"

"He...sank through the floor." Leia said, in awe, expecting her mother not to believe her.

Instead Padmé stood, perplexed. "But...I thought we were done with that."

"WHAT?" Siri asked. "This has happened before?"

Anakin head popped up suddenly. "COWABUNGA DUDES!"

"ANAKIN!" Padmé shrieked. "What are you doing?"

Anakin rose out of the floor fully, shaking his head. "I'm not sure, I feel really weird..."

Padmé ran to him, while the others stared. Except for Obi-Wan. He had gotten his hands on another hot dog...

"Anakin...something strange is going on. Are you feeling okay?" Siri asked him.

"Actually, I've never felt better." Anakin said cheerfully.

"How can you...just sink through the floor like that?" Siri asked.

Padmé looked at her and said quietly. "Remember what I said about Anakin's weird quirks?"

Siri stood mouth agape.

Padmé looked at her husband worriedly. "Anakin, something's wrong with you. you haven't acted like this since..." She could hardly remember. "Anakin...maybe we should go home now."

"Nonsense, Padmé. I'm fine."

"Anakin..." Obi-Wan said suddenly, having finished his hot dog. "Don't make me sound like your mom..."

Anakin winced. "You suck at impressions...okay, let's go."

The family gathered up all its group members and slowly headed out.

In the parking lot, Anakin offered to drive, but Padmé turned down his offer. Siri would drive.

"All right." Anakin said dizzily. "Whatever you say."

"Yes. Whatever I say, Anakin. Now get IN the SHIP!"

Anakin had been half-ready to run back into Darth Mall and buy her cookies.

Anakin took a step toward the ship, but then fell down again, dead silent.

"ANAKIN!" Padmé yelled again, and was at his side.

Anakin lifted his head, laughing. "Anakin... that's me. I didn't die in a black hole or from Toxic Idiocy Syndrome, or any of those things... I've been here all along."

Obi-Wan clapped, but he noticed the strange looks he was receiving and stopped abruptly.

Padmé helped her husband into the ship, his words echoing through her head.

_"...serious upheaval in my life for me to end up...like that again..."_

Was being beat over the head with a hunk of stale, hard cheese a serious upheaval?

**LOL. That was one of the craziest chapters yet. I'm astonished at my own actions.**

**Anakin sinks through the floor...a hidden talent.**

**Well, not much else to say, but I'm interested to see how many of you will be coming along for the prequel when this is done. No spoilers, but you just might see more crazy Anakin, the reason for his sinking through the floor, and WHY OBI-WAN is AFRAID OF HORSES! LOL.**

**Review, or I'll send Obi-Wan and a hunk of cheese your way!**


	11. Family Time at the Amusement Park

THANKS FOR ALL THE GLORIOUS FEEDBACK!

You guys don't even know how awesome you are.

We're nearing the end of this! WAAH! LOL. Be sure to tune in for more of this craziness in the prequel, which I'm SO AMPED about writing. Anyway, thanks and we'll see what those luvverly Skywalker & Co. Peeps are up to now!

I received a suggestion that Yoda go through Padmé's suitcase, but I took the idea and kind of twisted it around a little... hope you like!

**CHAPTER 11**

Padmé arose early the next morning, still a little worried about Anakin. She was surprised to find him still asleep next to her. Cautiously, she lifted herself from the covers, ready to tiptoe toward the closet.

But when she slid her feet into the fuzzy pink slippers at the foot of her bed, she was disgusted when her toes made contact with something cold and squishy. She recoiled, yelping in astonishment.

Anakin stirred, but didn't wake up. Padmé sighed profoundly as she peered into her left slipper. Wedged near the bottom of the slipper was a smashed material that she discovered to be a mound of purple Play-Doh.

Mace Windu collided with the window, causing a loud BANG to erupt around the room as he tried desperately to get in and snatch the Play-Doh from Padmé.

"PURPLEY FUN!" he wailed. "MUST HAVE PURPLEY FUN!"

Padmé shook her head as she picked the Play-Doh from her slipper and Anakin stirred again.

When she looked at the window again, Windu was gone.

She shrugged and set the mound of Play-Doh upon the bedside table. Then, she headed for the closet.

Rustling around among the many vividly colored new outfits she'd purchased at "Darth Mall", she finally settled upon a green and blue swirled shimmersilk gown with a velvety top and a fluttery skirt bottom. She made to pull it from the closet, but it wouldn't budge.

Padmé, frustrated, yanked on the dress several times, but it was caught. Sighing again, she dug deeper into the closet, trying to figure out what was keeping her dress from coming out.

Her eyes met her collection of shoes, a box of headbands... and... a small hook that the shimmersilk had become entangled in.

And...Yoda.

Padmé shouted once again in surprise. Then she hissed, "Yoda, what in Force's name do you think you are doing in my closet?"

Yoda turned around, his eyes glinting. But he didn't answer. Instead he continued to root through Padmé's belongings, humming a tune to himself.

"Yoda!" Padmé reprimanded.

Yoda's eyes lit up as they fell upon a box of Padmé's make-up. He happily began smearing it all over his face and clothes.

Padmé's mouth fell open. "Get out of my things!"

Yoda ignored her protests again; reaching into the pocket of a pair of Padmé's embellished blue jeans. He hastily threw a tube of lip gloss and a few coins out, and then stuffed some bluish-gray lint into the Ziploc bag concealed protectively in his robes.

Padmé waited, letting her political tendencies patiently await Yoda's peaceful retreat.

Yoda grinned wickedly, practically throwing himself into Padmé's bags, digging happily through anything he could find.

"What are you doing?" Padmé inquired, annoyed.

When Yoda turned to face her again, Padmé saw that he had a picture of herself and Anakin clutched in his hands. It was from before the twins were born, and she carried it everywhere. In it, Anakin was kissing her cheek as she giggled playfully, and her arms were thrown around his neck.

Yoda glanced at the picture thoughtfully, and then looked at Padmé, his expression telling her exactly what he was thinking. He showed her his very best "Aww... isn't that CUTE?" smile.

Padmé smiled sweetly and said aloud, her voice dripping with false content. "Yoda, it's time for you to leave. Do I go through your stuff?"

Yoda tucked the picture back inside her bag and snorted, disregarding her request.

"Yoda..." Padmé warned, losing her patience.

Yoda suddenly flipped around and began dancing, his ears adorned with two pairs of Padmé's underwear.

Padmé lost it. "To the fiery SLOPES OF MUSTAFAR WITH DIPLOMACY!" She screeched and threw herself upon Yoda, wrestling him into submission and holding him forcefully in her arms.

Yoda hardly fought her, and willingly dropped her underwear. She then scooped him up and struggled out of the mass of clothes.

Finally seeing the light coming through her window, she stepped out of the closet and tossed Yoda halfheartedly in whatever direction, not particularly caring, as long as he wasn't in her closet anymore.

In this case, "whatever direction" was onto the bed, where Anakin HAD been fast asleep.

Had been.

Was.

Past tense, meaning that after that, he was no longer asleep.

Padmé's hands went to her mouth as she gasped apologetically.

Anakin sat upon the bed, eyes wide open, Yoda perched upon his head proudly.

"I'm sorry, Anakin. He was going through my things and..."

Anakin put up a hand to silence her. _Is it my imagination, or is Anakin back to his old self? _Padmé thought absently.

Yoda yelled at the top of his lungs, "THE SNACK THAT SMILES BACK: GOLDFISH!"

Anakin cocked an eyebrow at Yoda, but didn't say a word. Padmé just stared in an awkward silence.

Finally she spoke. "I suppose I should clean up after him. He dug way into my stuff... I swear, has he heard of privacy?"

Anakin smiled lightly as his lifted a pair of undies off his shoulder. "Apparently not."

Padmé blushed a little. She had been so sure she'd gotten her hands on both pairs.

Yoda jumped off of Anakin's head and huffed, "Appreciate it, I would if talk about me like I'm not right and front of you, you would stop!"

Anakin tossed the pair to her, mildly amused, and then disappeared into the refresher. Moments later, Padmé heard running water.

Padmé sighed. "Well, that was interesting."

"Yes. Pretty purple undies, by the way, Padmé."

Padmé glared at Yoda. "Get out."

Yoda wandered away muttering to himself.

Padmé shut the door and slipped on the dress, then picked out some shoes and hastily straightened some of the mess Yoda had created.

She made her way into Sola's kitchen, humming cheerily.

Luke and Leia had already eaten, it seemed, and had their eyes glued to the Holonet.

Padmé poured herself a coffee and grabbed a few donuts from the box.

She began to munch, idly watching her children.

A few minutes later, Anakin came into the kitchen, bent down and gave her a kiss, then retreated to find himself something to eat.

Padmé looked after him quizzically. That craziness... was gone.

Suddenly, Luke jumped into her lap. "What're we doing today, Mommy?"

Padmé smiled down at him as Anakin took a seat next to her. "We're going to an amusement park."

"Wizard!" exclaimed Leia as she snuggled into Anakin. "ROLLERCOASTERS!"

Luke looked distant. "Cotton candy..."

"COTTON CANDY? WHERE?" a voice exclaimed. Obi-Wan looked at Luke, and then grabbed him by the shoulders. "Listen kid, you TELL me where it is, and no one gets hurt."

Luke looked amused now. "What're you gonna do? You can't hurt me, my Mommy's right here."

Padmé nodded, playing along.

Siri emerged, having heard the whole conversation. "Cotton candy?"

Obi-Wan smiled wickedly. "If you don't tell me where it is, I'll hold your Daddy hostage!"

Anakin almost spit out his coffee. "Huh?"

Obi-Wan reached down and put Anakin in a headlock. "Siri, watch your man show this crazy cheese head who's boss of this galaxy!"

Siri giggled, as Luke said, "Um... there's no cotton candy... we're going to the amusement park today, they'll be some there..."

Obi-Wan, who had lifted Anakin out of his chair, (who seemed like he didn't care at all for what was happening, if you wondered) and was now glaring at him menacingly, paused. "No cotton candy?"

"Nope." Leia, who had taken her own seat, confirmed.

"Oh." And he dropped Anakin, dumping him unceremoniously to the floor.

Anakin scowled up at him, but Obi-Wan didn't even notice.

Padmé quickly changed the subject. "Everyone should get their things packed up now because after the amusement park we're going straight to Varykino." She stood up. "I'm headed off to pack now, and then I'll say goodbye to Sola and everybody."

She started to leave. "Be sure you thank them for having you."

------

Bags in the back, goodbyes said, and short ride over with, the ship pulled up into a parking space at Theed Grand Amusement Park.

Luke eyed the place over. "It looks..."

"AMAZING!" Leia cheered, staring at the giant rollercoasters.

Obi-Wan and Siri got out next, along with Yoda and Yaddle.

Anakin and Padmé got out, holding hands. "Now everyone," Padmé said authoritatively. "We have to stay together; there will be no wandering off. Let's do a headcount. Wait... is someone missing?"

"Relax, Angel. They're all here." Anakin assured her, as they approached the ticket booth.

Padmé pulled a wad of cash from her purse and bought everyone tickets.

"Where to first?" she asked everyone.

"I'm all for riding the Rancor first." Siri put in.

"Me too." said Leia.

"Okay." Padmé agreed.

Luke looked a little on edge. "Which one's the Rancor?"

Anakin pointed at a humongous ginormous excruciatingly huge and overwhelming tall rollercoaster. (If you guys have ever been to or heard of the Millennium Force or the Top Thrill Dragster at Cedar Point, think THAT big.)

Luke shrunk back and seated himself on a bench. "I'll stay here. You guys go ahead."

"Are you sure?" Obi-Wan asked, munching on cotton candy.

"When did you get that?" Anakin asked. Obi-Wan opened his mouth to reply, but Anakin spoke again. "Forget it, I don't wanna know."

"Someone should stay behind with Luke." Padmé pointed out. Yaddle graciously volunteered.

Everyone got in line for the Rancor, pleased to find that it was short. Before they knew it, they were getting seated in the coaster cars.

Padmé pointed at the backmost car. "Ani, sit with me in the back, you get whipped around the most there."

Anakin shrugged at sat next to her.

The ride operator approached them, putting the bar down over them indifferently.

He then addressed Yoda, who was... c'mon you know where he was by now.

"I'm sorry little green dude, but you must remain seated in a designated seat for the duration of the ride."

"To be kidding me, you've got!" Yoda's jaw dropped.

"No, I'm afraid not."

"WHAT A FREAKIN RIPOFF!" Yoda screeched and wasted no time exiting the ride.

Anakin grinned slightly. "Well, it would have been painful if he had ridden atop my head."

Padmé silently agreed, and then the ride began.

------

"Lemme see ya grills... you wanna see my what?" Obi-Wan sang happily, as the coaster climbed upward. Siri giggled as they threw their arms in the air, readying for the drop.

Padmé smiled as Leia looked awed at the height.

The coaster climbed... and climbed...

It reached the top, just before the plunge and WHOOOSH!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" everyone screamed.

-------

Padmé, cheeks flushed, held Anakin's arm casually as they headed toward the bench where they'd left Yaddle and Luke.

Anakin's hair was sticking up slightly, and so was Obi-Wan's. Siri was holding his hand as they strolled through the park. Leia was fixing one of the cinnamon buns in her hair that had come out.

"THAT WAS AWESOME!" Obi-Wan screeched. "I MEAN, IT WAS LIKE CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGGA! AND WE WERE LIKE 'YEAH!' AND IT WAS LIKE WHOOOSSSSH! AND WE WERE LIKE 'AHHHHHHHHHHHH!' AND THEN IT TURNED AND WAS LIKE, SWISH! AND WE WERE LIKE, 'WHOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Leia agreed with an exuberant nod. "Let's do it again."

Anakin smiled and lifted his daughter into his arms. "Sure, we just need to check on Luke and see if he wants to go anywhere."

Padmé felt herself grin as Leia put her arms around Anakin's neck and let him carry her. She had noticed that Anakin was basically back to normal from the incident the day before, but when she looked deep into his eyes, something was there that she hadn't seen in years... a new light of sorts. And she knew that had nothing to do with cheese. Some sort of dam had burst within her husband, a dam that had been built about 4 years before...

She wondered quietly to herself as they neared the bench, only to find it empty.

"What the freak? Where is Luke?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Language." Padmé scolded him.

"Freak, freak, freak..." Obi-wan mumbled mischievously.

"Seriously guys, where is he?" Siri said, twirling a few strand of her sandy blondish hair through her fingers.

"Sandy hair?" Anakin spoke, grimacing. "Ewwww sand."

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"OH HEY GUYS!" Yaddle yelled, walked over to them. "WHAT'S SHAKIN?"

"Where's Luke?" Padmé demanded.

Yaddle looked confused. "Who's Luke?"

Anakin stepped forward, still holding Leia. "Our son. The one you were SUPPOSED to be watching."

"Oh him. I thought his name was Rocky." Yaddle said indifferently, producing a caramel apple she had clearly purchased and chewing slowly.

Padmé was very frustrated. "Yaddle, you were supposed to watch him! He's only four, we can't have him wandering around the theme park ALONE!"

"I did watch him." Yaddle said, either ignoring the shrill tone Padmé was using or completely unaware of it.

"Did you guys know that Spagetti-OHs are the spawn of the Sith?" Anakin asked randomly, looking utterly serious.

Everyone was quiet.

"Well, now you know so: WATCH OUT." he told them.

Padmé sighed loudly. "Anakin, we need to find the missing children's booth."

Anakin looked at her. "Why? I don't miss him..."

"ANAKIN SKYWALKER!" Padmé screamed. Several onlookers stopped for a second to watch her face turn beet red.

Anakin laughed. "I was kidding! Geesh!"

"We'll all go with you, after all we should stick together so no one gets lost."

"SUP HOMIES?" a gravelly voice called out. Yoda appeared, sipping a... well, you know, and eating a cotton candy. "Was the rip-off roller coaster a killer time?"

"Yeah, but we gotta find Luke now." Leia told him.

Padmé had made the mistake of giving Yoda the map of the park earlier. "Yoda, please hand me the map."

Yoda pulled out a pair of blue panties and placed them in Padmé's hand.

Padmé blushed profusely and her mouth dropped open. She quickly stuffed them into her purse. "STAY OUT OF MY CLOSET, YOU SHRIVELLED-UP GREEN RAISIN!"

"RAISIN? Now, wait just a minute. Your vibes, I do not like, Padmé Skywalker!" Yoda declared.

"I don't like how you fail to respect my privacy!"

"Well... I... I don't like your... your nose!" Yoda protested.

Padmé groaned. "YODA! For your information, I have a cute button nose that helped me win the Miss Theed Beauty Pageant at age 3. NOW GIVE ME THE MAP!"

Yoda scowled. "I seem to have... misplace... the...uhhh...map."

"YOU WHAT?" Padmé yelled.

Anakin suddenly cut in. "Angel, whoa! Settle down."

"MY SON IS WANDERING AROUND THIS PARK ALONE AND YOU'RE TELLING ME TO SETTLE DOWN?" Padmé snapped.

Anakin backed off like a dog with his tail between his legs.

"Anakin has a tail? That's flippin sweet!" Obi-Wan yelled. "I WANT ONE!"

When the author sat in silence, not granting Obi-Wan so much as a metaphorical tail, he frowned. "FINE BE THAT WAY!"

Padmé took a deep breath. "Okay, Ani. I'm sorry. You're right. I would be a lot easier though if we hadn't lost our map..."

"What, did you drop it?" Yoda asked her. (A.N.: I love Finding Nemo!)

Padmé growled softly. "You dropped it."

They trekked slowly around the park, searching aimlessly for anything to help them.

Obi-Wan stopped in his tracks and pointed a shaking finger at the carousel. "FORCE HELP US IT'S LIKE A SCENE OUTTA MY WORST NIGHTMARE TAKE COVER CALL THE NABOO AIR CORPS GRAB YOUR TORCHES AND PITCHFORKS HEAD FOR SHELTER HELP US DEAR FORCE AND PROTECT MY HOT DOGS!" he said in one sentence.

Siri sighed. "Obi-Wan, its okay... that's only a merry-go-round."

Obi-Wan shook his head. "So? Something smells fishy."

Sudeenly, Yoda approached, now munching a bucket of fish sticks. "Sorry, me that is."

Obi-Wan ignored him. "Look at all those foul, sinister, demonic ponies. They're just disgusting. There is no excuse. THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN, PEOPLE!"

"They're plastic!" Siri exclaimed.

"Plastic my butt! And look!" he pointed at the hideously painted smiles upon each horse's face. "Tell me to my face that that doesn't look evil."

"He's got a point." Anakin said.

Siri sighed and dragged Obi-Wan away from the carousel as the rest of the group went on, still looking for Luke.

But Anakin stayed, staring, unmoving.

"Anakin?" Padmé questioned. "Where do you think Luke would go? Anakin?"

Anakin stared.

"YOU-HOO!" Obi-Wan called, waving a hand in front of Anakin's face. "Naboo to Anakin! Come in Anakin!"

Anakin's face suddenly twisted with obvious shock and horror as he continued to unblinkingly gaze at the merry-go-round.

"Yeah, I know. They're revolting, eh?" Obi-Wan said, resting and elbow upon Anakin. "Hate to say I told you so, but... I TOLD YOU SO!"

Anakin didn't answer.

"Anakin?" Padmé asked warily. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"I...ummmm... it's..." Anakin tried. He shook his head slowly and gulped. "I found Luke."

"Really?" Padmé brightened. "Where?"

Anakin pointed a metal finger at one of the horses on the carousel.

Luke sat happily riding the pony, looking as gleeful as ever could be.

But that's not what frightened everyone.

Luke was holding the translucent hand of none other than the Force ghost of Darth Sidious. The two swung their arms around jauntily, while singing, "Animal crackers in my soup, monkeys and rabbits loop-dee-loop..."

The reactions were instantaneous.

"LUKE! WHAT ARE YOU, STUPID? GET OFF THAT CONFOUNDED CREATURE BEFORE IT BEWITCHES YOU TO JOIN FORCES WITH THEM!" Obi-Wan yelled.

"WHAT THE CRAP IS GOING ON HERE?" Han, who had randomly shown up called out. Chewbacca, next to him, wearing a gold medallion, howled.

"OH MY." Padmé said, worried.

Anakin scowled. "I'll get him."

He stormed past the ride operator and jumped onto the ride, wrenching Luke from the horse.

The ride operator, who just happened to be Sera, yelled, "FOR THE LOVE OF MOTHER AND CHILD, WHAT THE BLAZES IS HAPPENING!"

The readers of this story stared at her.

"What?" she asked them. "Being a security guard reeked."

"REEK?" Yoda screamed. "WHERE?"

Anakin returned, firmly grasping Luke.

"First of all, you are NOT to wander off without and adult." Padmé chided.

"And secondly, young man, you will NEVER talk to that particular Force ghost again." Anakin added.

The Force ghost of Palpatine floated over. "Hello, Anakin. Long time no see."

"Yes, it's a shame it wasn't longer." Anakin muttered. "Go away."

"So you have wished it, so shall it be." Sidious said mystically, "But if you ever need me, happiness is just a teardrop away..."

"SHUT UP! THIS ISN'T SHREK 2!" Padmé yelled at the ghost.

"Whoa. And he's definitely not my fairy godmother." Anakin said.

"ODDPARENTS! Fairly Oddparents!" Obi-Wan sang.

"My apologies, Chancellor Skywalker." Sidious said mockingly. "Happiness is just a pledge to the Sith away."

"Shut your ugly mouth." Leia snapped.

"Oohhh... the little Skywalker girl." Sidious grinned. "So like your father..."

"You'll leave her out of this." Han said, bolding stepping forward.

**"Who's he?" **Chewbacca growled.

"JOE MAMA, THAT'S WHO!" Obi-Wan suddenly squealed.

Chewbacca looked crestfallen.

Palpatine coughed awkwardly. "Well, I'll leave now. Remember, if you ever want to have ultimate power, just head straight down Slaughter the Jedi Street, which takes you directly to Hatred Boulevard, where you turn left and continue on until reaching Anger Drive. Then, you turn to the Dark Side..."

"ENOUGH!" Anakin bellowed.

"Fine." And Sidious vaporized.

"We've yelled a lot in this chapter." Obi-Wan observed randomly.

"I know." Yoda mumbled. "All the volume be cramping my style, yo!"

Anakin patted Chewbacca's arm. "Obi-Wan didn't mean what he said, Chewie. Remember us? We met you when Yoda brought you and Tarfful to Coruscant. I recognized you the moment I saw you."

Chewbacca mewled softly.

Anakin grinned, then paused, glancing at the necklace Chewie wore. "Where did you get that?"

Chewie answered with a grunt that clearly said, "That's my bling bling."

Leia clambered down from Anakin and fingered the pendant. "It's nice."

Anakin took the small piece from her hands. "You don't know what this is, do ya?"

"It's a pirate medallion." answered Leia confidently. (A.N.: I also love Pirates of the Caribbean!)

Anakin smiled. "No, it's not. It's actually a metal alloy poured into a mold and strung carelessly onto a black cord, then shipped off to theme parks around the galaxy to give as hokey prizes."

"Oh."

Chewie grunted again.

Padmé interrupted their reference to Pirates of the Caribbean with an inquiry. "You guys wanna go on some more coasters? There's the Rancor again, and I really wanted to give the Flying Catamaran a go..."

"Sure." Anakin said, standing up.

Leia looked excited. "YEAH!"

They all recovered from their previous incidents and walked off.

---------

Half an hour later, everything was relatively normal. Wait, scratch that... this story CANNOT BE NORMAL!

---------

Padmé led her daughter to a small face-painting booth and Leia sat in the chair. The artist, who was actually the tour-guide, Allyse, from earlier, dressed in a pink wig and wearing stilts to disguise herself, smiled and pointed at a piece of paper that depicted the different drawings she could get.

Leia picked a pretty little pink and gold daisy.

Luke, eager to get whatever Leia got, sat in another chair with the artist who was actually Tabby, disguised in a big puffy coat, (in which she was concealing her cat Tabby) He picked a lightsaber.

Nearby, in another chair, Mace Windu sat with a contiainer of purple paint, smearing it everywhere.

"Giggle giggle." He giggled.

---------

Later, Anakin led Leia through the games section of the park.

"OH!" Leia exclaimed suddenly. "DADDY! Can you win me a giant stuffed Ewok?"

"Sure sweetie."

And they got in line.

Twenty three tries later, Anakin was nearly out of money, and the person directing the game was tired. "Look buddy, you're holding up a line here."

Anakin glared. "OHHH... WELL I'M SORRY!" he yelled. "BUT I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL I WIN MY LITTLE LEIA A STUFFED EWOK!"

The ride operator shrank back. "Okay, okay... don't hurt me."

"Idiot." Anakin whispered as he took another shot at the bullseye of a little plastic star cruiser that skimmed lightly across the screen. He snarled. "It's LIKE THE GAMES ARE DESIGNED SO THAT IT'S NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE TO WIN!"

"They are... I mean, three credits for another shot." The person behind the counter said hastily.

Turns out, Anakin wasted all his money.

He growled. "I could take down a real star cruiser, you know."

Leia, who had also tried many times nodded. "Yeah, listen Daddy, if it's too much trouble, we can do something else..."

"NEVER! THAT WOULD BE GIVING UP!"

"Daddy, I think..."

"Leia, you NEVER give up."

"But..."

Anakin, tired of it all, snatched a tiny thermal detonator from his pocket and chucked it at the screen in front of him.

It exploded, and the cruisers caught aflame and disintegrated.

Anakin smirked. "I think I defeated the enemy." And he handed Leia a stuffed Ewok, shooting a triumphant glare at the guy behind the counter, who was staring open-mouthed.

The kid behind Anakin, who happened to be the kid at the airport that couldn't get a soda because Yoda destroyed the machine, approached the screen.

"MAN!"

--------

An empty-handed Anakin and a cheerful Leia came over to Padmé and Siri as they got off the Tilt-A-Whirl.

"Dizzy..." Siri mumbled.

"Hey guys!" Padmé said hazily. "Nice Ewok, Leia."

Leia hugged the toy close. "Yeah."

Luke, eating his own cotton candy, and Obi-Wan, munching some nachos, caem over.

"I'm telling you, it was like, freaking sweet Luke. The Rancor was like AMAZING..." Obi-Wan was saying.

Yoda and Yaddle, who had gone for a spin in the Fun House came over too.

Yoda jumped atop Anakin's head and announced. "We saw a fun mirror that made me tall!"

"Miracle." Luke commented.

Yoda sighed. "You guys are all so tall. Especially you Anakin." Then his tone changed. "You know what? Some day, cut y'alls legs off I will so you won't be so freaking tall!"

"I look forward to it." Padmé said sarcastically.

As dusk fell, the gang stayed just long enough to watch the evening fireworks.

Padmé rested her head on Anakin's shoulder comfortably, while everyone gathered around and gazed at the beautiful explosions ringing around them.

Obi-wan and Siri sat beside each other.

Siri shyly placed her hand in Obi-Wan's.

Obi-Wan squeezed it and whispered, "Siri, can you keep a secret?"

"Yes."

"You remember someone announcing into a megaphone that the carousel closed down?"

"Yes."

"Well, that was kind of my fault. I killed it."

Siri laughed heartily and the two watched the spectacular show.

Leia and Luke oohed and aahed after every pretty burst of light.

Yaddle sat, happily chowing down on popcorn and... Diet Coke. (she has developed Yoda's fetish...)

Yoda sat contentedly... (Guess where?)

Padmé smiled as Anakin put an arm around her.

"I love you, Anakin."

"I love you too, Padmé."

"I love you too, Anakin." A third voice said.

Anakin realized this voice was Yoda's.

"Well, I love your head." Yoda amended softly and Anakin laughed.

**Man! That was long. I was so eager to update, came back from band camp in a wacky mood...**

**Just so you know, I WILL NOT be updating ANY of my stories here until school starts. :(**

**Anyway...**

**Did you like it? Oh please tell me what you think!**

**Hm. I need a threat, I believe. **

**Review or Yoda will go through YOUR closet, spill Diet Coke on your favorite article of clothing, eat all the cookies in your house and run through the halls of your school on the first day wearing your pajamas screaming "I BELIEVE I CAN FLY! I BELIEVE I CAN TOUCH THE SKY!" **

**:D Thank you!**


	12. Some Retarded Walk Down Memory Lane

How did I let this happen? I promised myself that I'd be done with Vacation's Where I Wanna Be by the time school started:( I'm so sorry. Darth Real Life and Darth School nearly succeeding in turning Jedi Master Arie Skywalker into Sith Master Arie Skywalker. LOL. Here's the new chapter. And just so you know, there are only 2 more chapters after this one! OHHHHHHHHHHHH... It's almost over! I'll miss it! But you know what you should do?

Stick around for the prequel!

It's ROTS timeframe. Here are some reasons why you should read it:

The reason why Obi-Wan is afraid of horses is revealed.

The explanation for Anakin's floor-sinking at the mall is provided.

Padmé has a realistic pregnancy. No offense, GL, of course. But we'll get a more in-depth look.

The reason for crazy Anakin's fading away is shown and crazy Anakin is everywhere!!!!

That's only 4 things! There's so much more:D

**Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars, Anakin would shove Palpatine's head into a Porta-John!**

**Chapter 12**

"We're here!" Padmé screamed. She got a very excited look on her face as the little boat that carried the gang to the Varykino Lake Retreat docked.

"Boats suck." Luke remarked, stepping out after his mother.

Anakin followed afterward; carrying a drowsy Leia and Yoda... do I really need to tell you at this point? Obi-Wan and Siri clambered out and Yaddle scampered at their heels.

"Wow, this really is nice." Obi-Wan noted, gazing at the beautiful house.

Padmé launched into a proud speech about it at that comment. Obi-Wan groaned as the family walked into the house.

Yoda leapt from Anakin's head to the fridge within the second that they all arrived in the kitchen area. "SCORE! MORE THAN ENOUGH FRIDGE ROOM, THERE IS! To think, bought more Diet Cokes, I could have!"

Everyone ignored him. I would too, wouldn't you?

"Well, Leia, what do you think?" Anakin asked his daughter. Leia was looking around with wide eyes. "It's amazing!"

Padmé was still beaming. "I'm so glad we're here!"

Luke grabbed a shuura from the fruit basket he found among their luggage. Taking a bite, he inquired. "So you got married to Daddy here?"

Padmé opened her mouth to speak, but Anakin beat her to it. "HOLY CRAP, LUKE! NO!"

Padmé sent Anakin a questioning glance.

"We didn't get married in the kitchen." Anakin said pointedly.

"Daddy said crap.' Leia announced.

"You said crap!" Luke told her.

"You said crap too!" Obi-Wan yelled at Luke.

"Obi-Wan, you just said crap as well." Siri said.

"SIRI SAID CRAP!" Yaddle screeched.

"Said crap, Yaddle did!" Yoda screamed.

"Yoda said crap too!" Leia pointed at the Jedi Master by the fridge.

"LEIA, SAID CRAP, SHE JUST DID!" Yoda "tattletaled" back.

"YOU JUST SAID CRAP!" Luke shrieked, dropping his shuura.

"It's not like we've never said crap before in this story." Siri said.

"Anakin said crap first." **Anakin** thought to broadcast.

"Thanks for sharing!" Padmé interjected. "NOW STOP CRAPPING UP MY VACATION! ALL OF YOU!"

"Yes sir." Everyone said simultaneously. "Crap! I mean ma'am!"

Padmé sighed. "How did all of you say that at the same time?"

"Uhhhhh... the Force?" Anakin suggested.

Padmé let out what sounded like a frustrated sob. "Why do I have to be the only one here who can't use the Force?"

Anakin set Leia down gently and gave Padmé a hug. "Because someone has to keep us under control."

Padmé laughed then. "I'm so blessed." Then she looked outside. "Anakin! Let's have dinner in the meadow!"

"A PICNIC?" Yoda screamed. "LIKE, HECK YES!"

Padmé floated dreamily toward the food containers. "We'll have shaak sandwiches... shuura fruit..."

"She loves shuura fruit more than me!" Anakin hissed.

"Ew!" Obi-Wan said loudly. "I JUST IMAGINED WEIRD HALF-SHUURA HALF-SENATOR OFFSPRING RUNNING AROUND EVERYWHERE!"

Padmé jolted. "Huh?"

"Uhhhhh... it was Anakin!" Obi-Wan yelled before running out the back door and onto the balcony.

Anakin hurriedly began helping Padmé pack up the picnic basket before she could get angry.

An hour later, everyone was ready to go.

Padmé was glowing with anticipation, clutching Anakin's hand, her face adorned with a blindingly bright smile.

"AHHHH IT BURNS!" Obi-Wan screamed, shielding his eyes. "Geesh, Padmé, why are you so freakin happy anyway?"

"This is the place where I secretly convinced myself I was in love." Padmé gushed, smiling at Anakin.

Anakin smiled back, wearing sunglasses, so he didn't need to shield his eyes.

"AHHH! I DON'T WANNA GO ON SOME RETARDED WALK DOWN MEMORY LANE!" Obi-Wan yelled.

"What?" Padmé asked, confused.

"That meadow is infested with memories of Anakin and Padmé! And I already have to put up with them in the present!" Obi-Wan whispered to Siri.

"Is there some sort of problem?" Padmé asked.

"Ahhhh...no." Obi-Wan said immediately, noticing the venom in Padmé's eyes.

"Venom?" Anakin questioned, staring into his wife's eyes. "Venom! Snakes! SNAKES ON A PLANE! AHHHHHHH!"

Padmé's cold stare was broken as she turned to gaze at her husband. "Anakin, you are so weird."

"Thank you." Anakin grinned.

"Why? Did getting beat over the head with cheese really do that to you?"

"Nah... it was part of it. I've been crazy all along, but I... uhhh... I didn't show it because of a number of things."

"Let's eat, I'm starved!" Luke interrupted before Padmé could inquire further.

------

Luke stared down at his plate.

"Why are little boys so picky about what they eat when grown men eat anything?" Padmé asked aloud.

"HEY! We do not eat anything!" Anakin retorted, as he chewed on a sandwich coated with gobs of maple syrup.

"Anakin! That's disgusting! You're going to kill yourself with all that sugar."

Anakin smiled toothily. "Nope. That would, like, never happen. I've done this SO many times before..."

"Can I try, Mommy?" Luke asked.

"NO! EAT YOUR SANDWICH!"

Luke sighed. "It looks like cat poop."

"Your mom looks like cat poop." Obi-Wan remarked.

In an instant, Padmé was on her feet. "What?"

"Uhhhhh... Padmé is a great Chancellor, I love what she's doing for the Republic, don't you, Anakin?"

"Um. Who cares?" Anakin asked, grinning wholeheartedly at his sandwich. "This tastes like heaven."

Padmé looked like she was going to barf as she sat back down. "I'm never kissing that mouth again!"

Anakin turned around, eyes filling with tears. "But... I..."

Padmé was astonished. "Anakin, I didn't mean it... I packed Listerine for a reason..." She seemed to silently will him not to cry.

Anakin glared at her. "If you were aiming to shoot a painful arrow through my heart..." He looked around before rising. "Bullseye." And with that, he sunk into the grass. (The Producers rocked, you all should see it if you haven't!)

"OhmyForceohmyForceohmyForce!" Yelled Luke, dancing around oddly. "He did it again!"

Obi-Wan coughed out a sound that sounded suspiciously like the word loser.

Padmé sat with one hand of her mouth. "I didn't mean for that to happen! This was our first trip back to Varykino since the secret honeymoon!"

"Is Daddy angry?" Leia inquired, looking worried.

"No. He just needed to use the refresher." Obi-Wan told her.

"Oh."

-------

When they returned to the house, Anakin was nowhere in sight.

"Anakin's gone!" Siri said, surprised. "Where is he?"

Leia knocked on the refresher door. "Daddy?"

No answer.

"That's funny..."

Later that night, everyone gathered around the fireplace where Anakin had poured his heart out to Padmé years ago.

Padmé hardly spoke. She just sat, gazing in the flames, her eyes full of sadness.

Siri rubbed her shoulder sympathetically. "It'll be alright."

Leia looked up from the scrapbooks that they were currently looking through. "Mommy, what is this?"

Padmé crawled off of the sofa and peered at the picture. "That's me when I was Queen of Naboo, sweetie."

"When you met Daddy?" Leia asked.

Padmé nodded, swallowing. "Yes."

Siri pointed at another picture. "There's Obi as a padawan!"

Obi-Wan groaned. "Ew."

"I think you look adorable." Siri told him. He smiled and put and arm around her.

"Thanks, Siri."

Padmé tried to brighten a little. "Oh! Here's a love note Anakin left me..."

"READ IT!" Leia screamed excitedly.

Padmé gulped and read.

"Dear Padmé, I have so much to tell you. I didn't realize it before, but after I saw how ecstatically you looked at me, I felt my heart leap, I knew it was love. I never noticed the delicious way you dress, and the way you're lips look when you talk. You are just so succulent! I wish that we could always dance together, and when you work I want you to think of me. Sometimes I think about kissing your tantalizing lips, and looking into your beautiful eyes, and I know that I will feel alluring when we are finally together. Until then, I will wait sweetly. Your man, Anakin."

Obi-Wan cracked up. "You kept this?"

Padmé nodded.

Leia's eyes twinkled with amusement. "Are there more?"

Padmé smiled in spite of Anakin's strange absence. "Turn the page."

She began to read the next page. "Dearest Padmé, I lie awake all night thinking of you, your glowing smile, and our tryst at the lake house, when I rekindled my love for you. I also recall our first dinner date, how my heart jumped with hunger when I saw you, love. How stunning you looked in that pink dress and those two cheery cowboys hats upon your kidneys! I cherished every moment we were together, and was sad when our date came to a close. I can't say how deeply I regret spilling ketchup on your head; you were excited about it, however, for which I'm grateful. You are so beautiful with ketchup on your head anyway. You're always beautiful. Your eyes are like deep pools of OJ warmed in the moonlight. Your cheeks are as rosy as butterflies. Your lips are like tasty corndogs. Your hair is as pretty as a kitty on a summer's day. Your toes are cylinders of beauty. I can't wait to see you again. Lovingly yours, Anakin."

Everyone was breathless from laughter. Padmé giggled softly as well.

"Any more?" Siri asked. "You were right, he had a way with words!"

Padmé turned the page again. "Dear Padmé, I woke up this morning and my mind rushed with thoughts of you. You are not only pretty; you're the most wonderful woman in the galaxy. Everytime I kiss you, I get lost in your brown eyes and my heart dances. I can't wait until our next rendezvous. I have a surprise for you. It is sparkly, small, and shiny. I hope you love it. I will be wearing the shirt you bought me last Valentine's Day. I know how much you love to kiss me in it. You favorite green bean, Anakin."

"What did the shirt say?" Obi-Wan asked.

"I'm too sexy for this shirt." Padmé grinned.

Leia squealed. "That's so cute! ... I mean... yuck!"

Padmé smiled reflectively. "Here's two more."

"Oohhh!" Luke screamed. "I mean... GROSS! Girl stuff! Loveydoveykissykissy!"

Then everyone heard what sounded like a strangled sob.

Obi-Wan was staring at the TV screen, as they all turned to discover that he was watching a chick flick. Tears were streaming down his face.

"This is the part where he says, 'Darling, I'm lost without you.'" Obi-Wan sobbed.

Siri snuggled into his shoulder. "Aww."

Padmé cleared her throat and began to read. "Dear Padmé, Hello. Maybe you don't know me. Just kidding, you do. You and I ate dinner together several days ago. You looked so gorgeous, my love. We talked about chicken wings. You like yours like ranch dipping sauce and I like mine with honey barbeque. Even though we prefer different types of chicken wings, my lovely wife, I am sure we are made for each other. Every day that we are apart, I think about you. Your eyes are deep and dazzling. The sight of them is so refreshing, like a tall glass of cold lemonade. But they aren't cold, they're warm and loving. You have a nice singing voice... like Master Yoda. I love your pretty little nose. When can we meet again? Someday, we won't ever have to be apart. We'll go to Varykino and live a simple romantic life...and kiss bunnies. (And each other DUH!) When other people see us they'll be so jealous. (Those haters...) And we'll have 92 children... Meanwhile, I'm hoping the Force will will us to be together again soon. Love, Anakin."

Leia looked confused. "Bunnies?"

"A GOOD SINGING VOICE I HAVE? AHHH... RIGHT, ANAKIN IS!" Yoda screeched at maximum volume. "HAKUNAH MATATA, WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE!"

Padmé rubbed her ears. "Argh. I can't hear. And I'm a pirate. Argh."

Yoda looked at her. "S'okay, Padmé. Hakunah matata!"

Siri suddenly jumped up and started dancing. "It means no worries... for the rest of your days!"

"SHUT UP!" Leia roared. " I want to hear Mommy and I'm a LION! Because I roared! BOOYAH! A LION!"

"GRYFFINDOR!" Obi-Wan screamed.

"OOOH!" Luke cried. "He's a sorting hat! Pick me! Pick me... not Slytherin!"

"I want to hear the last letter, Mommy." Leia said, interested in her parent's pasts.

"Okay sweetheart." Padmé replied. "Dear Padmé, You are the galaxy's most beautiful angel. I'm sure I loved you from the moment I laid eyes on you. I love all the things you do; even the way you turn the key in the lock. I know I can make you very happy. I know all of your favorite things: Ding-Dongs, pickles, hippos, and fireworks... I can give you all that and more! I would never make you sing or dance if you didn't want to... did Palo do that? And I'd always make sure you never mussed your pretty hair and stunning clothes. I confess that I could not live without you. Completely yours, Anakin."

Leia leaned into her mother's lap. "How did you and Daddy meet and fall in love?"

"Daddy's been in the refresher for a long time." Luke noted, even though it was obvious.

"Well, that's why you should be glad you ate a normal sandwich, Lukey-Luke." Obi-Wan told him.

"What? I don't get it... EWWWW!" Luke said, shuddering.

"You get it now?" Obi-Wan asked, as Padmé sighed.

"YEAH! DADDY TURNED INTO A BIRD AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW! AND NOW HE'S DESTINED TO POOP ON THE WINDSHIELD OF MY FIRST SHIP!"

"Wrong-O!" a voice sounded. "And what makes you think I'm even going to let you get your pilot's license?"

There, standing in the doorway to the room was Anakin.

"ANAKIN!" everyone exclaimed at once.

Anakin jumped. "What? Did I do something wrong?"

"No...no." Leia said running into his arms. "I'm glad you're back, Daddy."

Anakin smiled down at her.

Padmé spoke up, sounding nervous. "Anakin... are you mad at me?"

Anakin jumped higher, which actually caused him to hit his head on the ceiling. "OWWW! ... No... of course not Padmé."

"Are you sure?" Padmé said, coming over to him.

"Yeah... what would make you think that?"

"Uhhhhh... Anakin, you sunk into the ground looking like you were going to cry and glaring at me all at once." Padmé pointed out.

"Ohhhh... that." Anakin paused. "Well, I was just playing...GEESH."

"You're a good actor."

"Thanks!" Hayden Christensen said, happy to receive the compliment.

"WHAT THE FREAK! WHERE'S ANAKIN?" Obi-Wan asked.

"Up your butt!" Siri yelled with a giggle.

Obi-Wan looked at the seat of his pants. "ANAKIN! GET OUT OF MY BUTT! FORCE! HE'S GONE MAD!"

"He's not really in there." Hayden Christensen told Obi-Wan.

"No duh, Smart Guy!"

"WHO ARE YOU?" Padmé said shrilly.

"Anakin Skywalker a.k.a. Hayden Christensen." Hayden told her. "I thought you knew that, Natalie."

"NATALIE???" Padmé yelled, alarmed.

"YOU. ARE. NOT. ANAKIN!" Obi-Wan shouted, drawing his lightsaber.

"HOLY CRAP!" Hayden yelped. "It's not just a stick! It's real!"

Obi-Wan chased Hayden outside, where Hayden jumped into his Ferrari and zoomed off.

"Okay okay! I'm sorry!" he yelled out the window. "I promise I won't...ahem... 'pose' as your former padawan ever AGAIN!"

Then, a bird pooped on his windshield.

"AHA!" Obi-Wan said, triumphant. "I found you, Anakin! But you got the wrong car!"

Anakin appeared out of nowhere inside just as Obi-Wan came back in.

"What?" Obi-Wan asked him. "I thought you were outside... soaring in the breeze."

"Wha's happenin?" Anakin asked casually as he shook his head no.

"MEANWHILE, EVERYONE ELSE WAS CONFUSED!" Obi-Wan yelled.

"YEAH, TELL ME ABOUT IT!" Leia shouted.

"I JUST DID!"

"YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!"

"WHAT, 'I JUST DID' OR 'MEANWHILE EVERYONE ELSE WAS CONFUSED????!!!!!"

"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!"

"GEESSH!"

"SIGH."

"WHO SAID SIGH? THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO SIGH NOT SAY SIGH!"

"BE QUIET!"

"There is SO MUCH DRAMA right now." Anakin said, shaking his head in disbelief.

Everyone was silent.

"That was weird." Obi-Wan stated.

"Anyway," Anakin said, ignoring him. "I came back to tell you that I'm leaving for the night, and I'll be back tomorrow."

"Where are you going?" Padmé questioned.

"On a journey of self-discovery." Anakin stated proudly. "To reconnect with the Force."

"HUH?" His wife asked.

"See you later kids." Anakin said, hugging them. He planted a kiss upon his dumbfounded spouse's lips. "Goodbye love."

"GOODBYE LOVE! GOODBYE LOVE! CAME TO SAY..." Obi-Wan began before Siri hushed him.

Anakin walked out the door, leaving them all stunned.

Padmé sat down on the couch, bewildered.

Leia looked nonchalant. "Is someone going to tell me the story of Mommy and Daddy?"

Obi-Wan leapt into the air. "I WILL!"

Siri rubbed her hands together. "Oohhh. I can tell this one's gonna be good!"

"Pay attention and listen well as I tell you the love story of Anakin and Padmé." Obi-Wan said dramatically. "It was years ago that Anakin came across an adorable girl named Padmé. He was on his way to the gas station when his eyes were suddenly drawn to a pretty creature, too graceful, in his mind, for mere words. He was overcome with joy, and was sure that he had found the woman his was destined to share the rest of his grapes with. She gazed at him with her beady... purple eyes and began to kiss him, right then and there. Never before had he felt such surprise and he invited her to join him for a night at the water park. She agreed and he hugged her beautiful little face off."

Obi-Wan paused at this point. Siri was cracking up, Leia looked confused, Luke looked bored and Padmé seemed to be smiling through her wondering about Anakin.

"You should know," Obi-Wan continued. "That Padmé was smitten with Anakin. She loved his cute butt..." Padmé gasped. "And she also loved the way he referred to her as Sweetums. Anakin was equally excited about Padmé and her dreamy smile. He adored her sparkling eyes and the way she called him Pumpkincake."

Padmé giggled quietly.

"The couple dated... no they didn't... those silly gooses just got married... ummmm... one afternoon, Anakin bowed down on one knee and asked for Padmé's hand in marriage. Padmé was so happy, she responded immediately with 'DUH!' Anakin took this as an affirmative answer. The wedding came and passed. After the wedding, they went to Varykino for a nice honeymoon and to enjoy each other's company."

The kids looked expectant.

Obi-Wan smiled slyly, giving them a meaningful look. "Now wouldn't you like to know what happened next?"

"BEDTIME!" Padmé hurriedly cut "Uncle Obi" off. The kids mumbled and groaned and trudged upstairs.

Yoda and Yaddle were fast asleep by the fire. Siri was cuddled into the crook of Obi-Wan's arm, dozing.

Obi-Wan rested his head atop her golden locks, giving a contented sigh.

"Haha. I did it right. I sighed. I didn't say sigh. Crap, I just said sigh. Crap, I just said crap and sigh! CRAP I said them AGAIN! Sigh, I said crap again! AWWWW I SAID SIGH INSTEAD OF SIGHING!"

Siri jolted awake. "What the-?"

"Nothing, Siri. Go back to sleep." Obi-Wan murmured.

Just as Padmé was about to tuck her children into bed, her comlink sounded. She grasped it and activated it.

"Hello? This is Chancellor Amidala."

"Padmé? Sorry, to bother you, I know it's late, and you're on vacation, but this is urgent."

"Bail? What is it?" Padmé asked, heart sinking.

"The Senate wishes to vote on a new bill that your presence is needed for."

Padmé suddenly felt extremely disappointed. "When?"

"Within the next few days. I'm sorry, Padmé. It's important, and it cannot be postponed."

"I understand." Padmé said, a lump rising into her throat. "Just let me enjoy one more day, and then we'll head home."

"Of course, Padmé. I hope I didn't interrupt anything?"

"Just remembering old times." Padmé told him. "See you soon. Goodbye." And she hung up.

She entered the room and gave each of the twins a goodnight kiss before sinking into the empty bed. She was sad that her vacation was coming to a close.

She snuggled into the blankets, a new thought coming into mind.

_What was Anakin doing?_

------

Meanwhile, Anakin sat upon a moss covered log next to the shimmering water of the lake, twilight stars reflected upon its glassy surface.

The moon shone above him, its beams lighting up the beautiful Lake Country.

Underneath the back porch of the Varykino Lake House, a creature stirred, it's teeth gnashing.

**What is Anakin doing?**

**Who is the creature?**

**How will they spend their last day of vacation?**

**DID YOU GUYS MISS ME? DID YOU LIKE THE CHAPTER???????!!!!**

**ANSWER MY QUESTIONS IN A REVIEW!!! PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.**

Thanks for all the glorious support you've given me so far. This was my first story ever at and in fan fiction in general. It's sad to see it end... (Arie begins sobbing)

BUT HEY, THAT'S WHAT SEQUELS... AHEM **PREQUELS** ARE FOR!

Oh yeah!

I need a threat!

Review or I'll send an army of scented Care Bears after you. MUAHAHAHAHA!


	13. And So You Gave Him Your Arm Instead?

Sorry guys, I'm writing these last two chapters quickly, I hope. That means, this is second to last chapter... I cannot believe it. (Arie sobs loudly) This was my FIRST FANFIC EVER!

I don't want to go into too much of a blubbering speech, but I'd like to all to know that I posted this today to commemorate my becoming a member here on January 17th, 2006. I didn't begin posting this story until January 28th, so I figured some time in between there would be a perfect time to finish this fic. If I can make the other chap by then.

Although I will miss it immensely, I am so ready to begin the prequel...

I'm gonna do some thank-yous now rather than later.

**Fans of this story, especially those that have been around since the start, I thank you IMMENSELY.**

**Special thank you to:**

**My cuz, SARAH: **_who, by the way, was at my side when we both ate the maple syrup sandwiches featured in the last chapter. GASP. You should try one. And be sure to let me know what you think if you do. We recommend them... (Giggles)_

**Mini Trish Stratus**

**The Knittin Kittens**

**McDermott the Giant Handmaiden**

**Oh snap! I'm sure I'm forgetting someone. Oh well, thanks to ALL reviewers and people who helped me. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. (Life's supply of virtual CHOCOLATE for you!)**

(Consoles herself enough to type) You guys have been great, I'll end up thanking you in the last chapter too, but hey, no harm in doing it now!

I love you all! LOL.

**Chapter 13 **

Padmé rolled over the next morning, expecting to see her husband's sleeping form beside her. But her eyes cracked open to find barren sheets and her arms touched only air. Sighing, she remembered the strange events of the previous night.

She rolled out of bed, heading for the refresher.

Luke sat, cross-legged on the rug with Leia, watching cartoons. They munched on their breakfast, arguing over nothing in particular during the commercial breaks.

Obi-Wan sat in the kitchen, staring aimlessly. This continued for about five more minutes before Leia came running into the kitchen, screaming.

"AUGHHH! BROTHERS SUCK! I HATE THEM!" she yelled, not caring that Siri was lying asleep on the couch in the next room.

Obi-Wan's eyes didn't shift, nor did he reply. Leia scoffed and padded softly to the fridge, fuming. She poured herself a refill of orange juice.

"I mean, come ON! He's what, at the most, like, a MINUTE older than me and he suddenly thinks HE'S the one in charge. GEESH! You know, this is why I want to be a Senator and a Jedi. Senators can out-argue other people with NO trouble, and Jedi can use their lightsabers if people get out of line! AGGRESSIVE NEGOTIATIONS!"

Luke stomped in. "Oh yeah? Well at least I don't daydream about kissing HAN SOLO!" He then blushed.

Leia paused. "First of all, that would be a little queer, Luke...and I know that you daydream about kissing that little redheaded girl, what was her name?"

"Mara..." Luke said distantly. He shook his head. "BUT I don't LIKE her! Like that..."

"And secondly, I DO NOT daydream about kissing Han SOLO! He's just a stuck up... half-witted... scruffy-looking... nerfherder!!!"

"Who's scruffy-looking?" Han asked randomly, entering through the back door.

"YOU! Didn't I just say that, LASERBRAIN? And this is me and Lukie's argument, so SCRAM!"

"Oh, well." Han shrugged, smiling. "It's not my fault! Arie made me come in here! She's the almighty lordess that rules over this story! She decides what happens, so don't blame me!"

"I just don't know where you get your delusions, Solo." Leia hissed, quite venomously. _Geesh, she's only four and she's already acting like her grown-up self._ "You're telling me, that an all-powerful force, besides the Force with a capital F, controlling what we do in our lives?"

"Yeah, it's called FANFICTION." Han said proudly.

Leia frowned. "I don't believe you, banthabrains. Now leave! No one invited you in here!"

"Actually, Arie..." Han began.

"NOW!" Leia yelled.

Han's shoulders slumped and he trudged out. Arie patted him on the back.

"Its okay, Han. Everything will turn out alright." She told him.

Han sniffed. "Yeah, she's just playin hard-to-get, right, Arie?"

"Totally." Arie nodded. "Here's a cookie, now run along, little boy."

Han smiled widely, and skipped away, singing jauntily.

Creepy, really. I mean she's only four, isn't he a little OLD for her?

Meanwhile, Leia and Luke's argument had escalated to the Point of NO RETURN!

"Isn't that a song in Grease?" Luke asked aloud.

"No, dummy, it's from Phantom of the Opera!" Leia shouted pointedly. "This only proves my point: boys are so stupid."

"Daddy's a boy, is he stupid?" Luke asked her.

"Anakin's a boy?" Siri asked, coming in to get her coffee. "You don't say..." She waltzed out, failing to notice the still staring Obi-Wan or take note of the fact that she should probably stop the children from quarreling.

Leia had lost her train of thought. "Ummm... no! Daddy's not dumb, and neither is Mommy, so I have no CLUE WHERE YOU GOT YOUR STUPID GENES!"

Luke patted his knees and looked at his pants lovingly. "I got them at Wal-Mart."

"NOT THAT KIND OF GENES! GAWWWDDDD! GENES NOT JEANS!"

"I don't understand, those two things you just said sound the same!"

Finally, Obi-Wan's head lifted up, causing both kids to jump in surprise.

"Uncle Obi, I forgot you were in here..." Leia murmured.

"I didn't even notice he was."

"Stupid-head." Leia whispered triumphantly.

But they both stopped their senseless bickering when they saw the look on Obi-Wan's face.

"PIPE DOWN, you TWO! I'm trying to watch the sugar bowl!!!!!" And with that, he fell back into his staring trance.

Sure enough, a little container of sugar was positioned right before him in his line of sight.

"DOUBLE U TEE EFF???!!!" Anakin yelled, as his head was not visible outside the window pane. He was looking at Obi-Wan. "Dang, he's one uh dem wacko folks who takes everything literally!"

"Daddy?" Leia asked curiously.

"Oh bugger!" Anakin cursed, his voice now influenced by a heavy accent. "I've been discovered! MUST HIDE! GAH! OOOFFF! SITHHHHHH!"

If you were outside, you would have seen him fall into a thorn bush, but since you weren't outside, I'm telling you.

"What's a Sif?" Luke asked.

"A Sith?" Obi-Wan looked up.

"A Sif."

"What's a Sif?" Obi-Wan wondered.

Leia crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Now they are just quoting that hilarious video parody from the MTV Movies awards in which Jimmy Fallon impersonates my Daddy."

"WHICH I DON'T OWN BY THE WAY, SO DON'T SUE!" Arie screamed. The she looked around. "Man, I have popped into the story wayyy too many times already in this chapter." POOF! Arie disappeared.

Padmé entered the kitchen, dressed in a mauve colored dress, wet hair wrapped in a towel. "Why is everyone yelling? And has anyone seen Anakin? I'm kind of worried..."

"YEAH!" Luke yelled, "Well, we saw his head."

"His head?" Padmé said, alarmed. Then she saw the cup of juice in Leia's hand. "Wait... did you guys already eat breakfast?"

"Not much... just some cereal." Leia answered.

"Good, because if we find your Daddy, we're going out for breakfast, because this is our last day of vacation."

"IT IS?" Obi-Wan wailed, the sugar bowl forgotten. "OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNN!"

"Geez." Leia commented.

Luke scowled. "Good, because Leia's getting on my nerves."

"Ummm... Luke?" Leia told him matter-of-factly. "I LIVE WITH YOU TOO!"

Luke's eyes widened. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Padmé frowned. "Children, please stop arguing."

Siri walked in just then. "Hey, Padmé, what's happenin?"

"Not much. I'm trying to figure out where Anakin is."

"I don't know... but hey! Did you guys know Anakin is a boy?"

"Uhhh... yeah." Padmé replied, confused beyond confusion.

"Man." A voice sounded, seemingly annoyed. "Man. MAN MAN MAN! Geesh! What does it take for you to get it?"

"Anakin?" Padmé asked, following the voice to the back door. Anakin was there, indeed, covered in thorns and smiling.

"Howdy." He greeted everyone.

"Oh yeah." Obi-Wan remarked. "You look very RECCONNECTED to the Force, Anakin. Are you sure you're didn't disconnect yourself completely?"

Anakin grinned strangely. "I was out in the wilderness, y'all... and I swear, Angel was there... and she looked _good_."

Padmé, though extremely relieved to see her beloved husband, put her hands on her hips. "And just WHO is this _ANGEL_?"

"Don't worry; Angel's a boy... man." Anakin corrected himself oddly. "And he's taken, anyway. Besides, I got you, babe, that's all I need! Babadada!"

"Anakin, did you hit your head?" Siri asked him kindly. "Because I don't think your head could handle more traumas after the cheese attack and all."

"Actually, I saw a KANGAROO!" Anakin continued happily. "And I gave it to Lora, cuz she said she wanted one."

"What in the freakin world is a kangaroo?" Obi-Wan asked.

"A roo made of kanga." Luke said decidedly.

"No, Lukie." Anakin wagged a finger at him. "It is what's called a marsupial."

"Whatever," Leia announced. "Hey Daddy, are boys stupid?"

"Definitely." Anakin said seriously. "So stay away from them FOREVER."

Leia stuck out her tongue at Luke. "TOLD YA!"

Padmé, slightly disturbed by Anakin's odd behavior, laid a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Until you're at least 16, honey."

"More like until you're as old as Master Yoda." Anakin looked dead serious.

"And to top it off, he's not just serious, he's dead!" Leia exclaimed.

"Anakin's dead?" Obi-Wan asked, staring at him. "WOW! PARTYTIME! I mean... booohooooo..."

"That's right. That's what I thought you said." Anakin scolded.

"Of course, Master Skywalker." Obi-Wan lowered his head.

Yoda meanwhile, entered the kitchen, hand-in-hand with Yaddle.

"Wait... something odd is happening, isn't it?" Yaddle asked.

"Yep." Leia told her.

Yoda shrugged nonchalantly. "Whatever." He sailed over to the fridge and in one fluid motion, opened a Diet Coke can and chugged the whole thing.

By now, it was difficult for anyone to really notice, since things like that involving Yoda and his diet beverage happened all the time.

"Anakin, you do look a little pale..." Padmé took a step closer. "And I was thinking of us going out for breakfast... Bail called me back and we have to leave so I thought we'd enjoy our last... OHMIGOSHANAKINWHERE'SYOURARM???!!!" she screeched in fear.

"I'm sorry, can you repeat that?" Anakin asked sweetly.

"Oh my gosh, Anakin where is your arm?"

Anakin looked down at the stump where his mechanical arm once was and shrugged mildly. "Oh that. Honey, there's an alligator under the back porch again."

"HOLY SITH!" Padmé screamed. "What are we going to do about it?"

"Don't worry, I took care of it. It was a hard decision, but I decided..."

"Oh, Ani." She hugged him. "I'm so sorry, but it was for the best, right?"

Anakin nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yeah. The best EVER."

Padmé smiled. "Still, I feel sorry for the poor creature."

"Why?" Anakin cocked an eyebrow. "Frederick is a great name for an alligator."

"WHAT???!!!" Padmé stepped back.

"After much deliberation, I decided that I would name him Frederick." Anakin told her proudly.

"And your arm?" Padmé asked timidly.

"Oh, yeaaaah..."Anakin seemed to remember. "He was... uh, hungry, and..."

"Didn't you bring food with you?" Siri asked him.

"Yeah, but I never share my maple syrup sandwiches, you should know that." Anakin chided gently.

"SO YOU GAVE HIM YOUR ARM INSTEAD?" Padmé was beside herself.

"That doesn't make sense." Obi-Wan told the authoress of _Vacation's Where I Wanna Be._ "You can't be beside yourself because you would have to move to the side and then you wouldn't be where you were before, you you'd actually just be standing beside nothing but a whole lot of nothing!"

"Quit talking to no one!" Leia yelled. "I told Han already, and now you! There is no such thing as ARIE THE AUTHORESS!"

Arie stared at the computer screen in shock. _George Lucas' wickedly twisted characters have betrayed me in MY STORY! _She paused, wondering whether to be scared or not. Sighing, she got a hot dog and then continued typing. (YUM!)

"Hot dog?" Obi-Wan screamed. "GIMME!"

Padmé meanwhile, was fingering Anakin's arm (or lack thereof) in fright. "Anakin, should we go to a med center..."

"Nah." Anakin told her.

"Why?"

"Cuz I don't feel like it."

"ANAKIN!"

"Actually, I think we should go out to eat and go to the beach like we planned and enjoy our last day of vacation. I can get a new metal arm back home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yuppers."

"Well..." Padmé said hesitantly. "Okay. But we are NOT walking into Shoddy's Breakfast and Brunch with a boy..."

"MAN!" Anakin screamed. "MAN, Padmé! MAN!"

"Fine, _man _that is missing his arm."

Obi-Wan got up and began rummaging through drawers. "I'm on it, Anakin."

Anakin shook his head nervously. "I...uhhh..."

Obi-Wan approached, holding an object he deemed perfect for Anakin's arm replacement. "Don't worry, I'm a licensed professional. Just relax and take a deep breath..."

----------

Some time later, the gang trudged sleepily into Shoddy's Breakfast and Brunch, a shack transformed into a small café on the beach by one of the spectacular lakes that Naboo was famous for.

Anakin, thoroughly uncomfortable, looked at his temporary 'arm'. "I don't understand, Obi-Wan, why did you have to pick a spatula?"

Obi-Wan began laughing uncontrollably. "Because we all know about that one time..."

"When I did the Shakira dance?" Anakin asked irritably.

"Well, yes. But I'm talking about that one time when you streaked through the Council Chambers and Yoda made you work in the Temple cafeteria for two months!"

Padmé hid her giggling face behind Siri, who seemed to recall the incident. "OH YEAH! That's right, Anakin is a boy..."

Padmé hiccupped and gasped loudly.

"Oh gross!" Leia exclaimed. "Boys are stupid AND gross."

Luke asked. "What's streaking?"

"Ask your Mommy and Daddy someday." Obi-Wan told him.

"Oh."

A cheery old lady walked over to them, lipstick smeared lopsidedly upon her lips. "Welcome to Shoddy's... your table is ready. I'm Babs, and I'll be your server today."

Everyone settled around the large table.

"Can I start you off with some drinks?" she offered, taking out a pad of paper.

Padmé nodded. "Yes, I'll have the hazelnut coffee, please."

"Certainly, Chancellor, ma'am." She wrote it down. "And for you, little lady?"

Leia pored over the menu. "I'll take blue milk, thank you."

"You're quite welcome." She answered, scribbling. "And for you, Miss?"

"Oh, I'll just take decaf, please." Siri waved a hand casually as she ordered.

Yoda and Yaddle ordered Diet Coke, which seemed to perturb the waitress a great deal.

"I'm sorry, but Shoddy's does not serve Diet Coke."

Yoda trembled slightly. "W-What?"

"I apologize. It's just mainly because this is a breakfast and brunch place and..."

"BABS! NO EXCUSE FOR THIS, IS THERE! TO SPEAK WITH THE MANAGER, I DEMAND!"

"Here I am." A burly man with huge muscles and a scruff of facial hair dabbling his face and chin. "What seems to be the problem, here?"

"Are you Shoddy?" Anakin asked, curious.

"Are you Spongebob Squarepants?" he shot back, looking at Anakin's spatula.

"EW, no!" Anakin remarked. "Dude, that's offensive, I'm suing your..."

"Anakin." Padmé chided. "There's no problem, sir... we..."

"ARE ASTONISHED!" Yoda finished for her. "Astonished at your audacity, we are. Serve me, Diet Coke, you will not? DIE YOU WILL! HATE YOU, I DO!"

"Yoda," Obi-Wan reminded him. "Hate leads to anger..."

"SHUT UP!" Yoda roared. "Use my own lines against me, you WILL NOT!"

The manager apologized and offered Yoda a free meal.

"Dang it, you'd better make hers free too!" Yoda screamed.

"Yoda, you aren't talking backward." Leia remarked.

"OOPS!" Yoda yelled. "REWIND! Uhhh... dang it, make hers free too, you'd better."

The manager, who probably had the capability to beat Yoda to a pulp if he were Force-sensitive, cowered slightly. "Yes, of course."

He stalked off, sulking. The waitress moved around the table.

"And for you, little boy?" she asked Anakin.

"MAN!" Anakin's eyes nearly turned yellow at this point.

"Sorry." She muttered. "What would you like?"

Anakin pointed at a bottle of maple syrup sitting on a counter nearby. "just bring me one of those."

"Uh-kay." Babs looked terrified. I kind of feel sorry for her.

"Me too." Padmé whispered.

"I heard that!" Leia howled. "THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FANFICTION!"

If she only knew. Right, um, back to the story.

The drinks came swiftly. Anakin drank the entire bottle down with ease and grace, smiling toothily.

Padmé grimaced. "I hate maple syrup. It's so sticky and too sweet."

Anakin looked shocked. "It's the next best thing to..."

"Don't finish that sentence." Padmé cautioned.

"Drat." Anakin muttered. He ushered the waitress over. "Hey, uh... Babs... you got any more of this stuff?" He indicated the empty bottle.

She sighed. "Well, that's the last bottle." She pointed at a filled container of maple syrup in the center of the table.

"Anakin... don't even think about it, that's for the food." Padmé said, her voice laced with warning.

Meanwhile, Luke and Leia had somehow started arguing again.

"Shut up, Luke!"

"You shut up, Leia! You don't even know what you're talking about!"

"BUTTHEAD!"

"BRAT!"

"KIDS!" Padmé scolded, humiliated. "We are in a restaurant!"

"What of it?" Luke asked, looking around.

"BEHAVE PLEASE!" She yelled, reprimanding their ridiculous dispute.

"Yeah, Leia!" Luke stared at her, "Why did you do that?"

"Luke, what the heck? You started that and you know it!"

"Did not, LIAR!"

"I am not a LIAR!" Leia screamed, furious. "You know what? I wish I could sell my twin brother! He's so annoying! Do anyone want him!"

"Oooh!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, digging around in his pocket. "I'll give you a whhhoollllleeee...penny."

"First of all, Luke is worth much more than a penny. More than credits can buy. And secondly, STOP THIS SENSELESS YELLING!"

"But you just yelled." Siri thought to point out.

"Yeah..." Obi-Wan sniffed. "I'm sorry, Padmé, I didn't mean it..."

Padmé threw her hands into the air. "I give up."

"You'd better catch those hands." Obi-Wan told her.

"SHUT UP!"

During this time, Anakin had put the Methods of Stealing Maple Syrup (those actually exist) to use and discreetly stored the bottle of syrup in his robes.

"Where's the syrup?" Padmé asked, turning to glare at her husband. "ANAKIN..."

"What?" he asked innocently. "It wasn't me!"

"Riiiighhhhhhttttt."

"Yes, right. You ARE right, it was not me!"

Padmé gave up.

Obi-Wan turned to Siri and commented. "You know, Siri, I love girls with big butts."

"You callin' me fat?" she asked angrily.

"Ummm, no. It suits you, that butt." He told her. "But if I had a butt like that, I would file for divorce from my body."

"Is that even possible?" Luke asked.

"Does it matter?"

"Well, it would look pretty weird if you had a girl's butt." Anakin agreed.

"How many times must I tell this family NOT to discuss BUTTS at the table?????" Padmé yelled.

Obi-Wan put another tally mark on a chart in a small notepad. "Well... more than... 525,600 times."

"That's how many minutes are in a year." Leia stated smartly.

"How do you know that?" Anakin wondered.

"Uncle Roger told me."

"She has an uncle named ROGER????!!!!" Siri asked. "That's so cool. I love that name." Then, she noticed the look on her uhhh...boyfriend's?... face and added. "Only one name better than Roger. Obi-Wan. And well... Siri."

"That's two names." Luke pointed out.

"NO DIP SHERLOCK!" Obi-Wan yelled.

Yoda cleared his throat. "Did you guys know that I was once known as Yoda, Mastermind of Thieves?"

"Considering what you did with my underwear, I'm not surprised." Padmé said.

The waitress asked nervously, "Is everyone ready to order?"

"I think we are." Siri grinned. "I'll take the scrambled eggs and sausage."

"I'll have what she's having." Obi-Wan said cheerily.

Leia and Luke ordered pancakes.

"Too bad we'll have to eat them dry because the syrup MYSTERIOUSLY disappeared." Leia mumbled.

"It did?" Luke asked.

Wow, he's a tiny bit slow.

"SOMEONE TOOK IT." Padmé said ominously.

"Let's call the Scooby gang, they'll figure it out." Obi-Wan suggested.

The waitress continued around the table, finally reaching Anakin. "And you?"

"An English muffin with jam."

"Anything else?"

"Nope."

She stood, shocked still. "No meat, hun?"

"Nahhhhh." Anakin told her.

"Sure?"

"Positive."

She bustled away, still muttering about meat.

The lovable members of the lovable gang waited, but it didn't take long for their food to come out.

"Yum." Padmé commented.

"You said it." Siri added.

"Yes I did."

"I can't believe we have to go home tonight." Padmé said sadly. "This has really been fun."

Obi-Wan coughed loudly. "Might I remind you, everyone, this is a humor story, so sappy conversations are not tolerated."

"YES THEY ARE!" Siri argued. "If they're funny!"

"This is a story?" Luke asked.

"No, it's our life! There is no mysterious author making us do what we do!" Leia screamed in frustration.

"Sap..." Anakin muttered dreamily.

"The weirdest family, we are." Yaddle muttered.

"YUPPERSDOODLES!" Yoda replied. "And proud."

And so, the meal continued, as the group just savored their last lovely (yet totally and insanely messed up) moments on vacation together. After their meal, they'd head for the beach.

**Oh, Force, this whole wrapping-up the story deal is making me sad. I enjoyed writing this chapter. Please review, I'd like to know if you enjoyed READING it. Hope you laughed. **

**I need a threat! YAY! Threats are fun! (Especially when they mean NOTHING whatsoever!)**

**Uh... review our I'll send Frederick the alligator to eat your arm! **

**Ooohhh... **


	14. This is Just TOO Much

I promised this in JANUARY!

Holy Force, I'm so sorry. I had this chapter all typed up and ready, but then my computer broke down and erased it. After that, I was mildly (not really mildly) sad. But I think I've recovered now. It will all come back to me once I remember that it also deleted a chapter of "A Father's Love" and of "Little Angel".

Wait… I just remembered, didn't I? (sobs loudly)

Anyway, this is the last chapter, which means if you enjoyed this story, I strongly encourage you to stick around for the prequel to it, which is titled _Angry Sith With a Plunger._

_ASWAP _will start in ROTS timeframe and continue onward.

Sorry. You've waited long enough, so here's the chap. Enjoy and I'll talk more at the end.

**Chapter LAST**

Padmé, now clad in a bright pinstriped bikini, bounded onto the beach, following the twins as they hastened for the lake water. Obi-Wan skipped happily after her, and Siri waddled onward, carrying all the beach gear, grumbling unhappily. (Is it even possible to grumble _happily_?)

Yoda and Yaddle ambled hand-in-hand across the beach, earning many a strange look from the innocent beachgoers, (whose paradise would probably end up turning to disaster, knowing our luvverly friends)

Yoda seemed to notice the eyes on them and scowled, screaming suddenly, "Narrow-minded, don't be, you intolerant fools! Human we may not be, but the same rights as you we have!"

A little girl pointed and asked, "Mommy, is that a monkey?"

Obi-Wan, sporting some spiffy swim trunks patterned with, you guessed it: HOT DOGS ran over and yelled, "DAAAAAAAAAANG! He'd be a pretty WEIRD-looking monkey!"

With a sniff, Yoda marched away. "C'mon, Yaddle, my sweet!" They sat down on beach towels, and opened up two cans of their diet beverage.

Padmé laughed happily as a small wave knocked Luke's tiny body into the surf, and he caught its current.

She clapped as the wave carried him onshore.

"Huzzah! I'm a whale!" Luke screamed gleefully. "I always wanted to be a whale!"

However, his cheeriness abruptly ended when he crashed into the shore, heading face-first into Leia's miraculously huge castle.

"HEY!" She pouted. "I WORKED ON THAT FOR HOURS!"

"Leia, we just got here." Siri, who was sprawled out tanning, told her.

Padmé smiled, reveling in the happiness that would end very soon, for the datapads and Senate awaited her.

It was almost perfect. And yet… she couldn't help but feel like she was missing someone…

----

Anakin glared menacingly at the sand, as if to disintegrate its tiny particles by melting it with his eyes. Tentatively, he gradually lowered the tip of his toe onto its… well, sandy surface, and grimaced, moaning.

"I won't survive this." He muttered, formulating a plan of escape in his mind.

_Maybe if I hop back into the cruiser and fly home now, they won't notice. _He nearly slapped himself. _C'mon, Anakin! THINK! You've successfully navigated through amazing situations with the odds dauntingly against you!_

"Never tell me the odds." A voice said.

Anakin stared down at Han. "Dude, I didn't say that aloud, and you don't have Force powers, which clearly means that you couldn't have understood that that was exactly what I was thinking."

"How do you know?" Han tilted an eyebrow, squinting.

"I don't." Anakin admitted. "But what I do know is you are on the verge of ruining Arie's fanfic."

"It's alright." Arie appeared out of nowhere once more. "I think the readers lost hope after first few paragraphs. It's all good." She sighed and disappeared, still pretty sad.

"Why does everyone else get to be cool Jedi?" Han complained.

"Join the club, we've got T-shirts." Padmé said, as she approached. "Anakin, aren't you coming? Don't you wanna swim with us?"

"That depends on two things. One: Is Obi-Wan wearing his speedo?"

Padmé sighed, but laughed inwardly. "No. Now come on!"

Anakin frowned. "I would but therein remains the problem of me getting to the water, for in order to do so, I must trek across many yards of this…." He gestured at the beach, "_FILTH!"_

"I do my best!" A nearby janitor wailed, then, sobbing ran away.

"Oops…my bad." Anakin murmured. Han didn't seem to notice Anakin's spatula hand by the way. He's pretty much figured the family out by now.

"Ani, let's go!" Padmé said impatiently. "I would like to spend my last day of vacation, (along with the rest of my life) with the special man in my galaxy."

Han snorted, "Pfff. Oh yeah, he's special alright!" He began to walk off toward the snack stand, (Uh-oh, don't tell Obi.) where his sister Lissy was waiting.

"Gimme a break! I got it off a freakin Valentine's Day card!" Padmé exclaimed to his retreating back.

"Gimme a break, gimme a break, break me off a piece of dat KIT KAT BAR!" Anakin sang cheerily, waving his hands in the air.

"Anakin! NO sexual innuendo within a mile radius of the kids, you know the rules."

Anakin looked confused. "But I… that's not what I… HUH? I just had a funny craving for chocolate, that's all!"

Suddenly Leia came running over, sopping wet from head to toe. She was wearing a ruffled blue swimsuit, and her hair hung over her shoulders. "Hey Daddy, race you over to the water!"

This proved to be the perfect incentive for Anakin to leave the solace of the asphalt parking area.

"Okay, sweetheart." Anakin smiled sweetly. "But don't start crying when you get beaten!"

"Oh I won't." Leia said, rubbing her hands together in a way that made Anakin shiver.

"Really?" he goaded.

"Really. You are going to be the one crying when I SO beat YOU!" Leia declared. "What do you have to say to that, Daddy-O?"

Anakin's voice sounded strangely distant, and Leia wondered why. "I'd say I'm already HALFWAY THERE!" (I've quoted Spongebob! Dear goodness gracious!)

Leia turned around, astounded. "Oh, that's why."

Padmé began to sprint toward her husband. "Hey, Anakin! No fair!"

"YEAH!" Leia screamed, running as fast as her little legs would go.

Obi-Wan, splashing in the water, yelled, "HURRY UP SLOWPOKES!"

Anakin dove in, obviously happy to be off the sand. "It'll be awhile, Obster."

Padmé nearly fell on top of him at the moment. "You cheater! Anakin Skywalker, I am appalled at your behavior!"

Anakin sighed. "Sorry. I already told you thousand bajillion kamillion thousand hundred kabillion fazillion…."

**Several minutes later…**

"…katrillion quadrillion times how much I hate sand. I just wanted to get off of it."

Padmé didn't seem convinced. But then, Anakin re-enacted a perfectly authentic replica of the Puss in Boots™ PoutyFace.

Tears nearly filled Padmé's eyes. "Oh alright, you are forgiven!" She hugged him.

Obi-Wan however, tapped Anakin gently. "Uh… Anakin? You DO know there is sand on the bottom of the lake too, right?"

Anakin's eyes were suddenly the size of bowling balls. "HOLY SHAZIZZLE!" he yelped, flailing about. Padmé backed away, fearful for her life.

Anakin began to cautiously move out deeper, waiting for his feet to no longer touch the bottom.

Padmé shot Obi-Wan a "Well-What-Can-You-Do" Look just as Leia came splashing into the water.

"How did an ol' geezer like Daddy beat me? Even WITH a head start!" She said, trying to catch her breath.

"OL' GEEZER???!" Obi-Wan screamed. "Watch your mouth, Missy, I'm older THAN him."

"Oh yeah." Leia murmured. "I forget because you don't act 76."

"I'm not 76 yet." Obi-Wan informed her. "I am however, over the hill."

"Actually you're in a lake, smart guy." Leia said, sticking out her tongue.

Luke meanwhile, was scavenging for shells. He had picked up several shiny whitish ones distractedly, before his eyes fell upon the biggest, most beautiful shell he had ever seen in his young life.

Smiling, he snatched it up. With a greedy laugh, he stowed it in his pocket. Turning around, he made a wild dash toward the water, ready to get wet again.

Anakin was nearly at the buoy by now, but he was disappointed to find that the water was still only coming up to his elbows.

"C'mon!" He yelled, frustrated. "What, with all this global warming they tell us about, surely this should be getting deeper!"

Luke swam up behind him, twirling a finger on the rippling surface of the water while floating on his belly. "The water's not warm enough for you, Daddy-Man?" he quipped. "Don't worry, I gotcha covered. I'll always have your back, Daddy."

Anakin, confused, muttered. "Yes, yes. That's wonderful, son."

It wasn't until Luke had wandered back toward the shallows and Anakin began to feel an odd warm spot in the usually refreshingly cold water that Anakin let out an shockingly girlish scream and quickly began to swim away, kicking his legs in the water as if a gooberfish was chasing him.

Padmé and Obi-Wan had become engaged…. in a fast-paced splash fight! (HAHA! I had you there, didn't I? Well, I'm not for Obidala, silly gooses!)

Leia, somewhat bored, swept her arm through the water and doused a very unsuspecting Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan sputtered and smiled. "Glad you decided to join us, Leia."

He felt like taking it back when Leia was suddenly on the alert, both arms lingering millimeters from the water, a devilish smile imprinted upon her face.

"Pleasure's all mine, Uncle Obi."

Moments later, Padmé and Obi-Wan were coughing and spitting water from their mouths, soaked almost beyond recognition and waving imaginary white flags.

"So polite." Obi-Wan thought aloud.

-------

Sera had taken the lifeguard position without hesitation, although she had little to no experience. She had thought that it would be a piece of banja cake. Simpler than simple.

However, she didn't have the slightest idea what to do when she spotted a small shape several meters from the buoy, and she panicked.

"MONSTER!" she yelled into the megaphone, "GOOBERFISH! GIANT MAN-EATING WALRUS! SCUBA-DIVING ZOMBIE! OH MY GOODNESS WHAT IF…. THE EMUS HAVE EVOLVED AND GROWN FINS?????!!!!!! THE POSSIBILTIES ARE ENDLESS!"

Lora, miles away at a garage sale, stopped in her tracks. Her ears perked up and she screamed, "CAMPBELL'S TOMATO SOUP, POSSIBILITES!"

Jansen approached with a shy smile on his face. He got down on one knee, opening a small box. "I couldn't think of a more romantic place than this garage sale to ask. Lora, darling, will you marry me!"

Lora yelped happily. "If Spongebath can be the bridesmaid!"

(Sera began to hop up and down as everyone but our gang fled the beach, for our gang knew that the shape was only Anakin. She danced weirdly and said over and over, "No! Ooh! Ooh! C-c-c-c-can I be the bridesmaid? Ooh! Ooh! C-c-c-c-can I be the bridesmaid? Ooh! Ooh! C-c-c-c-can I be the bridesmaid?" You get the idea. )

"You named your kangaroo _SPONGEBATH???!!!"_ He questioned incredulously.

"Yes. And I have even better names picked out if we have kids, Jansey-Poo."

------

Anakin, now several yards past the buoy, found that the water was now hitting his shoulders, but his feet still touched the repulsive bottom. Unceasingly frustrated, he cursed every curse word in every language he could think of, even the ones he couldn't speak, and the ones that didn't officially exist.

He took several steps and was shocked to find a dramatic difference in the water level very suddenly.

But looking down, he nearly jumped out of his swim trunks. (Oh dear….)

The water had dropped and was now hitting at about mid-thigh.

Disgusted, our hero Anakin gave up and trudged back toward where Padmé, Obi-Wan, Siri, Luke and Leia were now frolicking in the surf.

-----

Obi-Wan, suddenly awakened from half-slumber, sat up on his yellow and brown hot-dog shaped raft. "Look, Anakin's coming back!"

Padmé, though smiling at her husband's approach, scolded him. "Anakin, I hope you're proud of yourself. You evacuated the entire beach and the lifeguard locked herself in the lighthouse."

"Well, there's worse places to be locked in." Anakin said, coming over to Padmé and wrapping his spatulatized arm around her. "Like that one time, when Obi-Wan and I got ourselves locked in General Grievous' personal refresher…"

"ANAKIN! That business on Cato Neimodia doesn't DOESN'T count." Obi-Wan screeched.

"I wasn't aware that the General was capable of using a refresher… this is most intriguing." Siri put in.

"Yeah, well you also didn't know that Anakin was a boy." Obi-Wan pointed out.

"Yes I did! I just forgot, okay?"

"Whatever." Obi-Wan waved a hand vividly.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

THIS IS A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT. IT SEEMS THAT WHILE ARIE WAS TYPING THIS CHAPTER, A SMALL BAND OF BLACK MAKEUP WEARING BANDITS APPROACHED HER.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Hey you!" A very shady-looking person said to Arie. "I don't like your writing. It's offensive."

Arie sat up straighter in her chair and typed several random letters defiantly to prove a point: rasfjkghflidguiavfjlahvj. "What makes you think so?" she asked innocently.

"It is just is!" The leader screamed. "We'll carry on much better without its terribleness plaguing us. TAKE IT OFF THE SITE NOW!"

Arie quipped. "If you're angry because it is random and often makes little sense, I can't help you. I however must warn you, I will defend myself if this gets violent. Wait… who are you guys anyway?"

She promptly got up and pulled down their hoods, letting out a gasp. "It's… it's…."

Oh man, this would be a perfect place to end it. Whoops this is the last chapter, NO CLIFFHANGERS!

"It's…." she pointed. "MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!"

"Prepare to die." The members of the band shrieked, pulling out microphone stands to swing at Arie and odd black marching band outfits. A guitar landed at Arie's feet, smashing into a thousand bazillion kabillion…. (you get the picture?) pieces.

"You fools!" Arie threw off her cape. "I had been trained in your emo arts, by COUNT DOOKU!"

"Dooku was emo?" The readers questioned.

"Significantly." A random band member squealed.

"Dooku was more extreme than emo. He was downright EMOTASTIC!" Arie said almost happily.

"Enough of the emo!" The readers yelled. "What the heck is going on???!"

"THIS!" Yelled Mace Windu, popping out of nowhere. He sat on a beach towel (it was purple) and sang sadly, "When I was a young boy, my father took me into the city, to see a marching band…."

My Chemical Romance screamed and ran away, astonished that the strange Jedi knew their lyrics.

"Thanks Windybutt." Arie said to Mace. "You aren't so bad sometimes."

Mace nodded. " 'Welcome, Arie."

Arie then paused and gazed at the purple-loving Jedi. "Did I ever tell you about my belief that all men that choose to shave their heads should be required to paint blue arrows on their scalps and join the Avatar?" (I hate that show)

Mace frowned. "Arie, I'm two seconds away from going all Vaapad on your butt."

Arie sighed, putting her hands up innocently. "Alright, alright! YOUR arrow can be purple!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

THIS HAS BEEN A SPECIAL SEGMENT FEATURING THE AUTHORESS. YOU MAY NOW COMMENCE READING ABOUT THE OTHER CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

**Back with the Skywalkers and Co….**

Anakin picked up Leia and threw her into the air, only to see her spin and form a cannonball shape before splashing into the water. When she surfaced, she was giggling uncontrollably.

"Me next, Daddy!" Luke called out, not to be outdone by his twin. Anakin picked him up and tossed him, but he just spread his arms out and yelled, "I'm flying! YEEHEE!"

But since he failed to fold up his legs, he landed on his feet, only getting wet up to his waist. Despite this, he laughed as well, enjoying the fun.

"OOOH! NOW ME!" Obi-Wan screamed, relatively bored, for Padmé and Siri were relaxing on hot pink inflatable rafts.

Anakin sighed and held out his knee. "Alright. Hop on up here, Big Guy."

Obi-Wan did so, causing Anakin to shift and struggle to balance with his former Master weighing him down. "Auggh. Obi-Wan, have you ever considered working out?"

"Shut up, Anakin." Obi-Wan snapped, and then he smiled. "Mr. Santy Claus, you're supposed to be nice."

Anakin groaned. "Santa would have a heart attack if you sat on his lap, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan seemingly ignored this comment and mused. "Let's see… I want a new lightsaber… oh and a Pony Annihilator 2000."

Anakin raised an eyebrow. "You'll shoot your eye out, kid! HOHOHO!" And he halfheartedly threw Obi-Wan, relying heavily on the Force to do so.

Luke swam over to his sister, paddling idly. She was doing underwater somersaults.

"Hey Leia!" He said when she surfaced.

"What do you want, Hutt butt?" she answered coolly, swiping a lock of long wet brown hair from her face.

"I found the best seashell ever, you wanna see?" Luke boasted, sticking out his chest.

"Not really. Your close proximity is compromising my life Force." She said, making a face.

Luke took the object from his pocket anyway. "Look."

Leia glanced down at Luke's palm and shrieked. "Holy nexxus!" She then sped away, leaving a confused Luke behind.

"Was it something I said?"

"Excuse me Luke?" A small voice said. He looked down to see Yoda, sitting on a small surfboard. "I believe, my teeth, you have."

The little green Jedi snatched his pearly whites from Luke's hand and stuffed them into his mouth. "COWABUNGA, DUDE!"

Luke could only gaze blankly at his now vacant palm.

------

It seemed that despite the efforts of many, Obi-Wan located the concession stand. He skipped over happily, sitting on a bar stool, taking note of the tiki-cabana theme the decorations displayed.

He ordered a smoothie and fries, this probably being the highlight of his day at the beach later.

He glanced over at the person in the seat next to him, only to scream and drop his fries onto the sand.

"It's DARTH VADER!"

The Sith Lord choked as he siphoned his smoothie through his face mask. He spluttered and wheezed, interrupting his rhythmic mechanical breathing patterns.

Finally, he collapsed on the ground, passed out from lack of oxygen.

Obi-Wan scratched his chin and looked from the still form of the cyborg to Anakin, who was playing with Luke and Leia in the water.

"Wait a minute… something's not right here." He mused.

-----

Anakin stopped mid-splash and brought a hand to his chest. "I…I can't breathe!" He began coughing violently and his face turned blue.

After a moment, he fell over, floating on his back in the shallows.

-----

Padmé sat up on her raft when something tapped the side. Peering over the edge, she was shocked to find Anakin, limp-looking, floating next to her.

"HOLY SITH!" she yelled, frantically remembering that there was no lifeguard. "SIRI! SIRI, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH ANAKIN!"

"No Sith." Siri murmured, leaning way back, catching the sun's rays.

"NO I MEAN IT! LOOK!"

Siri took a glance at Anakin through her shades. "Oh, Padmé, he's just doing the Dead Man's Float, right Anakin?"

Silence.

"Anakin?"

------

Back at the snack stand, Han had removed Vader's mask and started performing CPR.

With a mild cough, Vader awoke, quite astonished to find the young Solo boy lending him air.

Embarrassed, he got up.

"Are you alright, man?" The snack stand worker asked, helping him up.

"Don't touch me!" Vader yelped and with that, he snapped his fingers.

A loud _crack _filled the ears of Obi-Wan, Han, Lissy, and the snack guy.

Obi-Wan stared, envious. "I never knew Sith Lords could Apparate!"

Han meanwhile, was running lickety-split toward the water.

Lissy, startled, yelled, "Han, where do you think you're going?"

"Saving my future girlfriend's father, got a problem, sis?" He yelled, obviously very annoyed.

"Well… I suppose not." Then she grimaced. "Kids these days."

"Tell me about it." Obi-Wan murmured, now absorbed with his food once more.

-----

Padmé, next to hysterical, was slapping Anakin's face as hard as she could, attempting to revive him.

Suddenly, Han came out of nowhere.

(cue cheesy heroic music)

DUNDUNDUNDA!

Han grabbed Anakin's face and pried his mouth open, pressing his own mouth against it.

"No fair!" Padmé screamed. "That was my next move."

Anakin jolted and shoved Han away. "What do you think you are doing?"

Han shrugged. "Fulfilling the prophecy."

"Already did that, squirt." Anakin told him.

"I just saved your life, be nice! You started choking because and alternate version of you called Vader or something did over at the snack stand.

"Huh?" Anakin questioned. He touched his face. "Owww… is my face red? It hurts! I think I have sunburn."

Padmé though immensely, relieved that Anakin was now awake, smiled guiltily.

Han tried to explain again. "I'm a Boy Scout. I just did CPR on you to revive you."

Anakin nodded. "Why didn't you say that in the first place? I thought you were kissing me!"

Han cleared his throat, "Speaking of kissing…" He glanced at Leia, who was splashing Luke.

Anakin put and hand on Han's shoulder. "How can I repay you, Han?"

Han smiled devilishly. "Let me take your daughter to prom?"

Anakin's face contorted for a moment, but he sighed. "Alright… deal.'

They shook on it.

-----

Beside the water, Tabby put her cat down and yelled, "Let's go swimming, Tabby!"

The cat meowed in protest.

"C'mon it'll be so fun!" She pulled out her wand. "WINDGARDIUM LEVIOUSA!"

The cat floated across the waves, mewling in terror.

"Oh alright," Tabby sighed. "I'll go by myself." She set the cat down on the sand and jumped into the water.

After swimming out a little way, she pulled out her walkie talkie. "Tabby to Tabby, come in Tabby… Tabby to Tabby… do you copy?"

"Merwl?" A mew sounded on the other end.

"You're supposed to say meow... over."

"Meow?"

"C'MON PUT A LITTLE OOMPF into it!"

"Meow-OOMPF!"

"That's better. Now, go over and scratch up Arie's hands."

"Meow."

"Roger that. Tabby out."

-----

Arie glanced down at her bandaged hands as she typed. With sigh, she addressed the readers, "What's worse, she can communicate with can openers too!"

With that said, her fingers (covered in miscellaneous Band-Aids) pinged away, finishing the last chapter.

Suddenly Em; dressed in dark colors (yet not looking like MCR), popped in and grabbed Arie's foot.

"GIMME YOUR SHOE!" She screamed maniacally.

-----

Obi-Wan, whistling innocently, swam up to Anakin, who was watching Luke and Leia play.

"Hey AnnieKaNanny!" Obi-Wan slapped his shoulder happily. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing." Anakin murmured thoughtfully. "I just almost died because apparently a Sith version of me almost died and since he did… I did. It's all quite confusing, but I think he's gone now, so I'm safe."

"Yeah he is." Obi-Wan blurted, and then clapped a hand over his mouth when he realized what he'd said.

Anakin fixed Obi-Wan with a suspicious glare. "Say, you wouldn't have anything to do with that, _would you?"_

Obi-Wan smiled nervously. "Ahhh…. no?"

Anakin checked his hands. "Any cheese? Nope… that's a good sign."

Suddenly, another ear-splitting crack was heard. The dark figure of Vader appeared, gesturing wildly at Obi-Wan. "HE LIES! HE WAS THE ONE WHO STARTLED ME AND CAUSED MY CHOKING!"

Anakin stared in awe at the Sith Lord. "You're me?"

"I was at one point." Vader said angrily, and then pointed at Obi-Wan. "Before he made me fall into a boiling lake of lava!"

Anakin gave Obi-Wan a weird look. "Obi-Wan…. how could you? That's so mean!"

Obi-Wan looked confused. "That's funny… I don't remember doing that at all."

"It's true." A voice said. Hayden Christensen approached. "I was there. I am the one he supposedly maimed."

"You." Obi-Wan said in an accusing tone. Then he glanced at each of the three men.

Vader. Hayden. Anakin. Anakin. Hayden. Vader.

"Okay, this is just too much!" Obi-Wan ran off toward Siri, clutching his head. "IT HURTS!"

Anakin turned to Hayden and Vader. "He's right, bros. I'm afraid you all are going to have to skidaddle back to your rightful alternate universes."

Hayden and Vader burst into tears and Apparated.

"Sorry." Anakin said to the air.

------

**Slightly later…**

"AHHHH!" Padmé shouted as her raft capsized. She landed in the water with a _ker-plop. _Beside her, Siri acted similarly when her float flipped.

Both women turned to glare at their significant others, who stood behind and slightly underneath their rafts.

"ANAKIN!"

"OBI-WAN!"

The two men snickered and approached their ladies, grabbing them and pulling them forward.

What followed was an odd cuddle/makeout session in the water.

No details necessary, really.

-------

**A little later than slightly later…**

Anakin stood on top of the tiki cabana stand, watching Jack Schmitt, whose unlucky butt happened to be sitting in a chair at that very stand on that beach.

"What a coincidence." Anakin murmured. Then he lifted his hand (the one that wasn't a spatula) and in it, he grasped a large cantaloupe. "I promised myself I'd get you back for hitting on my wife… and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

Poised, he waited until, as Jack Sparrow would say, "the opportune moment" and chucked the cantaloupe…

It landed directly on him, knocking him out cold. Not to mention covering him in orange mush.

The snack guy sighed. "Not again." Looking around, he asked, "Where did that Boy Scout go?"

-------

**Later that evening**

Our wonderful friends still had the beach to themselves. They were huddled together on their beach towels, happily munching chips and sipping soda.

"Do we really have to leave, Daddy?" Leia, wrapped in a patterned towel, huddled close to Anakin.

"I'm afraid so, Princess." He told her, tousling her hair affectionately.

"It's been fun," Siri remarked, "Thanks for picking me up along the way."

"Siri, you're like my sister." Padmé, who was leaning against Anakin's other side, replied softly. "We were happy to include you."

Siri smiled. "Well, now that I've had my share of vacation, I'd love to come back to Coruscant with you… I mean, it sure has been awhile. I'd like to see the Temple again."

"Consider it done." Anakin told her.

Obi-Wan squeezed her hand. "This has been more fun than I imagined. And I imagined quite a lot."

"Yeah…" Luke sighed. "Will we ever come to Naboo again?"

"Most likely" Padmé said. "I mean, there is family here."

Yoda (guess where?) and Yaddle merely remained silent.

Their vacation was upon its twilight.

"And soon, night must fall." Yoda whispered, watching the sun drop into the lake.

"Should it be doing that?" Luke wondered. "I mean, won't it… blow up?"

"It isn't really falling into the water." Padmé informed him, wrapping an arm around her son. "It is just setting. I know it is hard to see a Coruscant sunset because of all the smog, but that's what it looks like…. only not as pretty."

"Oh." Luke said, after basically ruining my attempt at a fluffy ending. Of course, I'm kind of used to it by now. (scowl)

-------

There was an aura of disappointment oozing around the group as they all fastened their seatbelts and Anakin slowly punched in the coordinates for Coruscant.

Padmé stared out at the surroundings of Naboo for one last time, hoping deeply that someday they would return.

Anakin prepared the takeoff sequence, took a quick glance at his wife, and fired up the engines, leaning back in his chair. For once, he wasn't so eager to start flying.

Padmé looked at him quizzically, but then smiled. "Thanks, Ani."

"Thanks?" He questioned.

"This whole operation was your idea." Padmé grinned. She leaned over and pecked him on the cheek.

He managed a feeble smile. "Yeah… it was a disaster, but as disasters go… that was pretty sweet."

Padmé nodded, and they both sat for a moment, neither wanting to take to the air. Finally, Anakin gradually lifted them into the air until they hovered silently above the landscape of Naboo.

Anakin stared blankly the dashboard, noticing a bottle of Ibuprofen tablets sitting there.

"DEAR FORCE!" a voice suddenly screeched. "AN EMERGENCY WE HAVE! NO DIET COKE IS THERE FOR THE RIDE HOME!"

"ARE WE THERE YET?"  
"NO DUMMY!"  
"SOMEWHERE…! BEYOND THE SEA…! SOMEWHERE WAITING FOR MEEEEEEEE….! MY LOVE IS STAAANDING ON GOLDEN SANDS….!"

"TURN THE RADIO ON, I CAN'T TAKE IT!"

"MOMMY, I NEED A REST STOP!"

"HOW LONG 'TIL WE GET HOME????!!!"

"LET'S PLAY A GAME!"

"I'M BORED!"

Anakin, with a grimace, picked up the bottle and shook it, only to hear silence.

_Just my luck. _He groaned inwardly, already sensing that the ride home would be an interesting one.

He began to lightly cruise along, trying to remain calm.

"ANAKIN, YOU NEVER DEMONSTRATED THE SHAKIRA BELLY DANCE FOR US!"

"YEAH DADDY!"

It didn't work.

Several minutes later, he was banging his head against the steering yoke.

Padmé beside him; mused almost sadly. "Anakin, I need a vacation."

**THE END!**

**Gosh, it's actually over. What a long chapter. **

**Especially special thanks to reviewers and people who stuck around with me during this experience. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did!!!!!**

**Also, a world of thanks to:**

**Sarah**

**The Knittin Kittens**

**Mini Trish Stratus**

**McDermott the Giant Handmaiden**

**Anyone else I may have forgotten!**

**I can't believe I'm signing off of this story for good, and yet I'm so pumped to write **_Angry Sith With a Plunger _**at the same time. It just means a lot, becaue this was my first fanfic EVER.**

**THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU!!!!!**

**Last review threat for this one: (sniff, sniff)**

**Review or a piece of lettuce will eternally remain stuck between your teeth, an army of shoes will invade your house, and you will be forced to eat Taco Bell for the rest of your life! MUAHAHAHAHAAH!**

**Oh yeah and THANK YOU!**


End file.
